– Un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam nj\u00eb studente e mbytur n\u00eb lot. Kemi gjyshen shum\u00eb t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb dhe nj\u00eb doktor q\u00eb e kemi kush\u00ebri na tha se i ka dit\u00ebt e num\u00ebruara dhe nuk ka se \u00e7far\u00eb t\u2019i b\u00ebj\u00eb spitali. Un\u00eb nuk mund ta p\u00ebrballoj faktin q\u00eb ajo po vuan aq shum\u00eb e do t\u00eb vdes\u00eb s\u00eb shpejti dhe un\u00eb, q\u00eb m\u00eb ka rritur e me sheh n\u00eb drit\u00eb t\u00eb syrit, nuk e di se si ta ndihmoj. Dua ta lexoj t\u00eb shtun\u00ebn q\u00eb e kam dit\u00ebn e \u201cIntervist\u00ebs\u201d: Si t\u2019i ndihmojm\u00eb t\u00eb moshuarit q\u00eb po vdesin?
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – E nderuara studente aq e dhembshur e shum\u00eb e mir\u00eb, je shprehur shkurt e qart\u00eb, por ke folur shum\u00eb. T\u00eb moshuarit, edhe pse jan\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb mosh\u00eb q\u00eb duan sh\u00ebrbime, i kemi shum\u00eb t\u00eb dashur e t\u00eb \u00e7muar dhe n\u00ebse kemi mbindjeshm\u00ebri t\u00eb tepruar, si ti, mundet q\u00eb t\u00eb pik\u00ebllohemi e t\u00eb l\u00ebndohemi tep\u00ebr. Kur ti tregon p\u00ebr gjyshen t\u00ebnde, mua mendja m\u00eb vete te n\u00ebna ime 84 vje\u00e7are e s\u00ebmur\u00eb. Me gjith\u00eb p\u00ebrpjekjet tona, nuk po mundet mjek\u00ebsia q\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb i duhet asaj, megjithat\u00eb, po b\u00ebhet maksimumi. Isha nj\u00eb muaj me t\u00eb n\u00eb Itali e nuk lam\u00eb specialist pa trokitur, por n\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit, nuk mund t\u00eb ndalojm\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e \u201cshkruar\u201d. Por ka nj\u00eb \u00e7udi t\u00eb bukur te n\u00ebna ime; sapo b\u00ebhet pak m\u00eb mir\u00eb, ajo sikur e hap dritaren p\u00ebr ta par\u00eb jet\u00ebn e bot\u00ebn dhe, si\u00e7 thot\u00eb ajo: \u201ce pash\u00eb edhe sot Diellin\u201d, pra, p\u00ebrpiqet t\u00eb g\u00ebzohet me aq sa mundet dhe mundohet t\u00eb jet\u00eb e qet\u00eb. Por, s\u2019e ka t\u00eb leht\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb e qet\u00eb kur ka dhimbje. Doja t\u00eb dija \u201cpsikologjin\u00eb\u201d e saj dhe e \u201cngacmova\u201d nj\u00eb dit\u00eb me ca pyetje, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat mora nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje shum\u00eb interesante, q\u00eb do ta kem gjithmon\u00eb parasysh edhe p\u00ebr veten time: \u201cEdhe pse jam keq, g\u00ebzohem q\u00eb jetova e po jetoj kaq gjat\u00eb, g\u00ebzohem me k\u00ebto q\u00eb m\u00eb kan\u00eb mbetur…\u201d.
\n\u00cbsht\u00eb pak t\u00eb them se u befasova me k\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje, sepse ajo e di mir\u00eb parimin psikologjik q\u00eb \u201cai q\u00eb nuk k\u00ebnaqet me ato q\u00eb ka, nuk do t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqej as me ato q\u00eb do t\u00eb donte t\u00eb kishte…\u201d. N\u00ebna ime ka nj\u00eb \u201cfavor\u201d se \u00ebsht\u00eb besimtare dhe gj\u00ebrat i l\u00eb n\u00eb dor\u00eb t\u00eb Zotit. Porse, kur t\u00eb moshuarit nuk kan\u00eb nj\u00eb besim fetar, ata nuk e kan\u00eb t\u00eb leht\u00eb t\u2019i pranojn\u00eb p\u00ebrvojat thelb\u00ebsore \u201cnormale\u201d, por vuajtjet e jet\u00ebs q\u00eb nga lindja, s\u00ebmundjet, pleq\u00ebria, vdekja, si pjes\u00eb p\u00ebrb\u00ebr\u00ebse, t\u00eb pandara t\u00eb jet\u00ebs. \u00cbsht\u00eb gabim t\u00eb mendosh se s\u2019duhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb k\u00ebshtu, pasi t\u00eb gjitha ato q\u00eb p\u00ebrmenda, jan\u00eb ligjet e Zotit. Nuk ia vlen t\u00eb mendosh ndryshe! Un\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00eb kam njohur shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz t\u00eb cil\u00ebt i kam patur shumic\u00ebn miq t\u00eb \u00e7muar, por q\u00eb nuk jetojn\u00eb m\u00eb, si profesor Hamit Beqja, Ulvi Vehbiu, Nuri Abdiu, Arqile Boti etj. K\u00ebta ishin edhe njer\u00ebz t\u00eb zgjuar e me grad\u00eb shkencore, p\u00ebrve\u00e7se ishin me bot\u00eb shpirt\u00ebrore e shum\u00eb t\u00eb zellsh\u00ebm. Ata kan\u00eb ditur se si t\u00eb jetojn\u00eb dhe m\u00eb e bukura e tyre \u00ebsht\u00eb se kan\u00eb ditur se si t\u00eb vdesin. Dhe fatmir\u00ebsisht, ata kan\u00eb jetuar gjat\u00eb, kur 64 vje\u00e7 ka nd\u00ebrruar jet\u00eb edhe vet\u00eb profeti Muhamed. Por, si\u00e7 thot\u00eb anglezi, p\u00ebr nj\u00eb njeri mos pyet se sa jetoi, por se si jetoi. Profesor Nuri Abdiu, mbi 85 vje\u00e7, ishte edhe shefi im i katedr\u00ebs tek \u201cUfo University\u201d, punonte e komunikonte me t\u00eb gjith\u00eb e me zell e dashur dhe nuk ulej kur shpjegonte. Nuk gjej fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr zellin dhe motivimin e ndjes\u00eb past\u00eb Ulvi Vehbiu, Hamit Beqes etj. Arqile Boti arriti q\u00eb ta sh\u00ebroj\u00eb vetveten nga nj\u00eb s\u00ebmundje gati e pash\u00ebrueshme.
\n– Ndjes\u00eb pa\u00e7in se ende nuk jan\u00eb thar\u00eb lulet te varri i mikut tim, t\u00eb ndjerit Stavri Kristo. Di t\u00eb them se ky njeri me nj\u00eb kultur\u00eb t\u00eb madhe, ka ditur se si t\u00eb jetoj\u00eb nj\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb bukur derisa u \u201cfik\u201d n\u00eb pamund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr ta vazhduar m\u00eb tej \u201cluft\u00ebn\u201d e jet\u00ebs. Mbaj mend prej vitesh se si ai i sh\u00ebrbente me qejf bah\u00e7es plot me tr\u00ebndafila, luleshtrydhe e rrush e tregonte plot gj\u00ebra t\u00eb bukura e me shum\u00eb kuptim. E k\u00ebnaqte jeta. Sidomos t\u00eb mahniste ai pran\u00eb nj\u00eb gote me raki t\u00eb cil\u00ebn e prodhonte vet\u00eb, m\u00eb tep\u00ebr p\u00ebr t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqur miqt\u00eb. Ai punonte, shkruante, lexonte \u00e7do dit\u00eb dhe vet\u00ebm sh\u00ebrbente e sh\u00ebrbene me at\u00eb fjalen e men\u00e7ur, t\u00eb matur e t\u00eb \u00ebmb\u00ebl. Ai dinte me detaje pjes\u00eb nga jeta e njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb m\u00ebdhenj dhe jetonte duke treguar mbresat m\u00eb brilante nga veprat e let\u00ebrsis\u00eb artistike, ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht asaj ruse. Ai m\u00eb mahniste! Nuk m\u00eb harrohet kurr\u00eb nj\u00eb th\u00ebnie e tij, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn e kam p\u00ebrdorur shpesh, se \u201cplaku, sado i vjet\u00ebr q\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb, edhe mbi 100 vje\u00e7 po t\u2019i ket\u00eb kaluar, duhet q\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn t\u00eb sh\u00ebrbej\u00eb qoft\u00eb edhe me fjal\u00ebn e mir\u00eb dhe n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes kur zgjohet, duhet t\u00eb thot\u00eb \u201cfaleminderit\u201d edhe p\u00ebr nj\u00eb dit\u00eb t\u00eb jetuar\u201d.
\nFjali lapidare! Edhe Kadri Roshi, ndjes\u00eb past\u00eb, m\u00eb ka th\u00ebn\u00eb: \u201cUn\u00eb e kam \u201cmjetin\u201d me t\u00eb cilin do t\u2019u sh\u00ebrbej njer\u00ebzve deri n\u00eb vdekje e kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb fjala e \u00ebmb\u00ebl, e gjetur, e duhur, me dashuri e kuptim\u201d. Njer\u00ebz t\u00eb rrall\u00eb! Nj\u00eb \u00e7udi e bukur, si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe miku im Isa Hyseni, nj\u00eb burr\u00eb fisnik 80 vje\u00e7ar nga Tropoja, i cili prej 50 vitesh vazhdon t\u00eb shkruaj\u00eb ditar, \u00e7do dit\u00eb e pa asnj\u00eb munges\u00eb, madje shkruan plot gj\u00ebra brilante dhe vet\u00ebm Kadareja apo Agolli mund t\u2019ia ken\u00eb kaluar. Nj\u00eb pun\u00eb q\u00eb s\u2019e ka b\u00ebr\u00eb dot as Arkivi i Shtetit me dhjet\u00ebra punonj\u00ebs brenda.
\nTani, m\u00eb konkretisht, p\u00ebr gjyshen t\u00ebnde, e dashur studente, mendoni p\u00ebr ata q\u00eb vdesin t\u00eb rinj dhe ju duhet t\u00eb g\u00ebzoheni q\u00eb gjyshja juaj ka pasur nj\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb. Kujtoni se sa e dobishme ka qen\u00eb ajo e sa shum\u00eb ka dh\u00ebn\u00eb. Edhe ju i keni dh\u00ebn\u00eb e tani nuk keni m\u00eb arsye p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndier keqardhje t\u00eb tepruar. N\u00ebse shpirti i saj \u00ebsht\u00eb i kulluar, mendoni edhe p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr sepse at\u00eb e besojn\u00eb mbi 51 % e shkenc\u00ebtar\u00ebve madhor\u00eb t\u00eb bot\u00ebs. Plakja \u00ebsht\u00eb e pashmangshme, por, si\u00e7 thot\u00eb me humor miku im brilant profesor Edmond Tupja: \u201cle t\u00eb plakemi triumfalisht\u201d… Dihet se kur je i s\u00ebmur\u00eb e plak, ke edhe dhimbje dhe njeriu duhet nd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsuar q\u00eb t\u2019i dij\u00eb ato realisht, pa u g\u00ebnjyer e pa i humbur shpresat. Shpresa \u00ebsht\u00eb e fundit. Njeriu do t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb aq sa ka mund\u00ebsi duke u p\u00ebrpjekur q\u00eb t\u00eb nxjerr\u00eb nga atje m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00ebn. Pastaj, si\u00e7 thon\u00eb besimtar\u00ebt, atij q\u00eb ka dhimbje, vet\u00eb Zoti ia shton edhe \u201csabrin\u201d (durimin) dhe ia b\u00ebn dermanin. Un\u00eb si psikolog nuk mund ta pranoj q\u00eb pas vdekjes s\u00eb nj\u00eb njeriu shum\u00eb t\u00eb dashur, tjetri t\u00eb bjer\u00eb n\u00eb depresion. Kam trajtuar shum\u00eb raste t\u00eb tilla e ka edhe raste kur m\u00eb pyesin se \u201csi mund t\u2019ia siguroj vetes nj\u00eb vdekje t\u00eb parakohshme?\u201d. Nuk mund t\u2019i quaj ndryshe ve\u00e7se dob\u00ebsi, pak a shum\u00eb nj\u00eblloj sikur njeriu t\u00eb ket\u00eb dal\u00eb kund\u00ebr Zotit. K\u00ebt\u00eb k\u00ebshill\u00eb kam edhe p\u00ebr ty, e dashur studente, e rritur me at\u00eb shpirtin e past\u00ebr e altruist, por ende \u201cf\u00ebmij\u00eb\u201d: N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se rri pran\u00eb dikujt q\u00eb po vdes, b\u00ebj at\u00eb q\u00eb i p\u00eblqen atij, b\u00ebj gjith\u00e7ka p\u00ebr ta ndihmuar duke siguruar nj\u00eb atmosfer\u00eb besimi e qet\u00ebsie, por mos harro edhe vet\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb shkruash ndonj\u00eb sms dashurie… Ne duhet t\u00eb m\u00ebsohemi me iden\u00eb se \u00e7do gj\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e p\u00ebrkohshme, edhe vet\u00eb jeta. Ka pleq t\u00eb cil\u00ebt e humbasin kthjellt\u00ebsin\u00eb e durimin e b\u00ebhen shum\u00eb grindavec\u00eb. Me ta duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb sy qorr e nj\u00eb vesh shurdh, pasi ai \u00ebsht\u00eb tani nj\u00eb \u201cfajtor\u201d i pafaj dhe kur nuk ka m\u00eb asnj\u00eb shpres\u00eb p\u00ebr sh\u00ebrim, e mira \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb ndahemi vet\u00ebm me paqe, si\u00e7 thot\u00eb nj\u00eb miku im, \u201ct\u00eb kafshojm\u00eb gjuh\u00ebn e t\u00eb mos e nxjerrim fjal\u00ebn e keqe se na mbetet m\u00eb pas si nj\u00eb breng\u00eb\u201d. Mua m\u00eb p\u00eblqen shum\u00eb parimi fetar \u201cb\u00ebj at\u00eb q\u00eb duhet dhe mos u merr me rriskun (dometh\u00ebn\u00eb, me fatin q\u00eb ka caktuar Zoti). N\u00ebse nj\u00eb i s\u00ebmur\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb koma dhe nuk ka m\u00eb asnj\u00eb shpres\u00eb p\u00ebr shp\u00ebtim, un\u00eb nuk jam dakord q\u00eb t\u00eb zgjatet nj\u00eb lloj gjendjeje artificiale e mbijetes\u00ebs, duke vuajtur shum\u00eb e pa dobi e gjith\u00eb familja e t\u00eb af\u00ebrmit. \u00cbsht\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u2019ia thuash dikujt k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb, por k\u00ebt\u00eb e thot\u00eb vet\u00eb logjika, mrekullia e mrekullive t\u00eb cil\u00ebn e ka vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb gjalles\u00eb: Njeriu. T\u00eb kaluara gjyshes suaj dhe Zoti jua leht\u00ebsoft\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– Un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam nj\u00eb studente e mbytur n\u00eb lot. Kemi gjyshen shum\u00eb t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb dhe nj\u00eb doktor q\u00eb e kemi kush\u00ebri na tha se i ka dit\u00ebt e num\u00ebruara dhe nuk ka se \u00e7far\u00eb t\u2019i b\u00ebj\u00eb spitali. Un\u00eb nuk mund ta p\u00ebrballoj faktin q\u00eb ajo po vuan aq shum\u00eb e do […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13533","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13533","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13533"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13533\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13533"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13533"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13533"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}