– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje. Un\u00eb vuaj nga parandjenja q\u00eb as vet\u00eb s\u2019e kuptoj \u00e7far\u00eb jan\u00eb dhe m\u00eb duken absurde. Jam vet\u00ebm 17 vje\u00e7e dhe n\u00eb koh\u00ebn e lir\u00eb, vet\u00ebm k\u00ebto mendoj. N\u00eb \u00e7do moment m\u00eb duket sikur do t\u00eb vdes. Kam dy vite q\u00eb jam n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje dhe n\u00eb pushimet verore m\u00eb ka ndodhur dy her\u00eb rresht. M\u00eb ndodh t\u00eb mendoj se \u00e7do fjal\u00eb q\u00eb them \u00ebsht\u00eb si betim, ndaj nuk duhet t\u00eb g\u00ebnjej p\u00ebr asgj\u00eb. M\u00eb duket sikur \u00e7do fjali e imja pozitive apo negative, do t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb. Shembulli m\u00eb konkret \u00ebsht\u00eb i till\u00eb: N\u00eb ver\u00ebn e vitit 2014 kisha nj\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb tmerrshme ankthi. Mendoja, larg o Zot, sikur do vdisja. N\u00eb nj\u00eb moment, thoja me vete: \u201cK\u00ebt\u00eb nuk e mendojn\u00eb gjysh\u00ebrit e mi dhe e mendoj un\u00eb! Nuk e mendon n\u00ebna q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb plak\u00eb dhe e mendoj un\u00eb, q\u00eb jam kaq e re\u201d. Dhe thash\u00eb: \u201cMe radh\u00eb do t\u00eb ikim t\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb. Gjysh\u00ebrit p\u00ebrpara, ne nga pas\u201d. Jam kaq e fiksuar, e stresuar e n\u00eb ankth, sa as nuk e p\u00ebrshkruaj dot se sa m\u00eb mundon kjo fjali: \u201cGjysh\u00ebrit para dhe ne nga pas\u201d. M\u00eb dukej sikur do vdisnin ata dhe po t\u00eb vdisnin ata, do t\u00eb vdisnim edhe ne. Jam kaq e shqet\u00ebsuar saq\u00eb n\u00eb \u00e7do moment e \u00e7do fjali q\u00eb them, e keqinterpretoj n\u00eb mendjen time. Mendoj gjithmon\u00eb negativisht; qoft\u00eb edhe nj\u00eb fjali, mua m\u00eb vret. Ja, k\u00ebt\u00eb fjali qysh para dy vitesh e kam akoma n\u00eb mendje dhe tani m\u00eb duket sikur, larg o Zot, po t\u00eb vdesin ata, do t\u00eb vdesim edhe ne. Ju lutem, m\u00eb ndihmoni. Faleminderit.
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – E nderuara 17 vje\u00e7are, ndodh shpesh q\u00eb njer\u00ebzve t\u2019u krijohen ca mendime t\u00eb kota t\u00eb cilat burojn\u00eb nga fantazit\u00eb e k\u00ebqia dhe q\u00eb \u201cmarrin fuqi\u201d pik\u00ebrisht sepse njeriu trembet prej tyre. K\u00ebto jan\u00eb ca mendime jorealiste, negative e k\u00ebmb\u00ebngul\u00ebse t\u00eb cilat nuk t\u00eb shqiten nga mendja. K\u00ebto, jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb pav\u00ebrteta (si\u00e7 e ke kuptuar edhe ti kur thua \u201cjan\u00eb absurde e i keqinterpretoj n\u00eb mendjen time\u201d), por nuk jan\u00eb as t\u00eb d\u00ebmshme… Ato do t\u00eb quheshin t\u00eb zakonshme, porse ti nuk do t\u2019u kushtoje v\u00ebmendje po t\u00eb mos t\u00eb t\u00eb shkaktonin ankth, frik\u00eb e vuajtje. Pra, k\u00ebto lloj mendimesh, jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb nuk burojn\u00eb nga mendja jote, por ato jan\u00eb n\u00eb kund\u00ebrshtim me t\u00ebr\u00eb qenien t\u00ebnde. Ato jan\u00eb si \u201cvida pa mbarim\u201d q\u00eb ti m\u00eb kot p\u00ebrpiqesh t\u2019u jap\u00ebsh \u201cdrejtim\u201d. Ato p\u00ebrs\u00ebriten e p\u00ebrs\u00ebriten n\u00eb mendjen t\u00ebnde dhe \u201cg\u00ebzohen\u201d pa mas\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i u kushton r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi e v\u00ebmendje sepse ti b\u00ebn pik\u00ebrisht at\u00eb q\u00eb duan ato, pra, u jep fuqi e \u201ckrah\u00eb\u201d. Ti p\u00ebrpiqesh t\u2019i nxjerr\u00ebsh ato me forc\u00eb nga dera dhe ato sikur hyjn\u00eb nga dritarja… K\u00ebto lloj mendimesh obsesive, q\u00eb me fe quhen mendime q\u00eb na i thot\u00eb \u201cdjalli\u201d apo \u201cshejtani\u201d, kurohen me psikoterapi.
\nAt\u00ebher\u00eb lind pyetja: Si t\u00eb ndalosh mendimet obsesive, si t\u00eb mundesh ti q\u00eb t\u00eb \u201cloz\u00ebsh\u201d me to, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb ato t\u00eb \u201clozin\u201d me ty e t\u00eb t\u00eb \u201cmanipulojn\u00eb\u201d? Mendimet obsesive, m\u00eb mir\u00eb le t\u2019i quajm\u00eb negative, mund ta b\u00ebjn\u00eb jetes\u00ebn t\u00eb trishtuar kur ju m\u00ebrziteni prej tyre, por kjo situat\u00eb mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb, si\u00e7 e thash\u00eb, edhe nj\u00eb ftes\u00eb q\u00eb ta kap\u00ebrceni mendjen \u201ce keqe\u201d dhe t\u00eb \u00e7liroheni p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb prej vuajtjes. Shum\u00eb klient\u00eb m\u00eb thon\u00eb: \u201cT\u00eb lutem, doktor, po \u00e7mendem, m\u2019i hiq q\u00eb jeta ime t\u00eb jet\u00eb po aq e lumtur sa m\u00eb par\u00eb…\u201d. Po, a mund t\u2019i ndaloni ju mendimet obsessive? N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se po, kjo do t\u00eb ishte shum\u00eb mir\u00eb, por e v\u00ebrteta \u00ebsht\u00eb ndryshe, pak m\u00eb e komplikuar, pasi nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e leht\u00eb t\u2019u jap\u00ebsh fund mendimeve, gj\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn ju mund ta b\u00ebni vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr pak koh\u00eb dhe ato s\u00ebrish \u201cv\u00ebrshojn\u00eb\u201d. Plus, q\u00eb t\u2019u jap\u00ebsh fund k\u00ebtyre mendimeve \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb keq sesa t\u2019i durosh ato, sepse krijon shum\u00eb lodhje e energji t\u00eb brendshme negative. Pra, nuk ia vlen! Diku n\u00eb nj\u00eb lib\u00ebr fetar kam lexuar se nuk mund t\u00eb mos i d\u00ebgjosh ato q\u00eb t\u00eb thot\u00eb \u201cshejtani\u201d, por vet\u00ebm mos u fut n\u00eb diskutime me t\u00eb se nuk ia del dot. Por, si t\u00eb ndalojm\u00eb s\u00eb menduari k\u00ebto mendime t\u00eb tmerrshme? \u00c7far\u00eb i shkakton mendimet obsesive?
\nN\u00eb qoft\u00eb se je ti vet\u00eb q\u00eb i prodhon mendimet, at\u00ebher\u00eb ti duhet t\u00eb kesh edhe kontroll mbi to. Ne identifikohemi me disa nga k\u00ebto mendime dhe fiksohemi pas tyre, kur e v\u00ebrteta \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebto jan\u00eb thjesht nj\u00eb form\u00eb energjie neutrale, por \u00ebsht\u00eb interesimi apo preokupimi juaj q\u00eb i b\u00ebn obsesive. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ju e kuptoni k\u00ebt\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, at\u00ebher\u00eb sapo keni hedhur hapin e par\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u \u00e7liruar prej tyre. Mund t\u00eb shkojm\u00eb edhe te psikiatri e t\u00eb na jap\u00eb ila\u00e7e gjum\u00ebv\u00ebn\u00ebse, por kjo lloj \u201cterapie\u201d na leht\u00ebson duke na bllokuar edhe ato mendime q\u00eb na duhen ose aft\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00ebsuar, p\u00ebr t\u00eb ngar\u00eb makin\u00ebn etj.
\nAt\u00ebher\u00eb, p\u00ebrs\u00ebri lind pyetja: Si t\u2019i ndalojm\u00eb mendimet negative? E para \u00ebsht\u00eb psikoterapia me disa seanca, kurse ila\u00e7et kund\u00ebr ankthit mund t\u00eb jepen vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb zbutur ankthin pik\u00ebllues. Duhen p\u00ebrdorur disa metoda m\u00eb t\u00eb \u201cbuta\u201d, si duke vazhduar me qejf nj\u00eb pun\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb duket q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e dobishme, duke l\u00ebvizur, duke b\u00ebr\u00eb humor e t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto pasi t\u2019i kemi th\u00ebn\u00eb vetes: \u201cpa merak, se k\u00ebto mendime as nuk t\u00eb d\u00ebmtojn\u00eb e as nuk t\u00eb detyrojn\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebsh ndonj\u00eb t\u00eb keqe\u201d. Sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb q\u00eb ti i kupton ato ballazi, aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb sulmojn\u00eb edhe ato. Pra, duhet t\u00eb veprosh si me marifet e me \u201cdredhi\u201d, si\u00e7 thot\u00eb populli, duke u kthyer shpin\u00ebn \u201cvesveseve\u201d. Ato jan\u00eb si ndonj\u00eb qen q\u00eb leh e nuk t\u00eb kafshon, por q\u00eb merr fuqi e kurajo kur sheh se ti trembesh. Kjo, pra, i fuqizon shum\u00eb ato mendime, frika prej tyre. \u00cbsht\u00eb plot\u00ebsisht e mundur q\u00eb t\u00eb mposhtet kjo frik\u00eb: me psikoterapi sepse nj\u00eb mendim e fuqizon interesimi dhe preokupimi juaj! N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ju nuk keni nj\u00eb interesim t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb n\u00eb lidhje me nj\u00eb mendim, at\u00ebher\u00eb ai e humb ndikimin te ju. Ju mund ta provoni q\u00eb tani k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb: i lini mendimet q\u00eb t\u00eb rrjedhin n\u00eb mendjen tuaj, por q\u00ebndroni si nj\u00eb spektaktor ose v\u00ebzhgues dhe i lini t\u00eb kalojn\u00eb. Do t\u00eb shihni q\u00eb ato e humbasin fuqin\u00eb. Kjo lloj metode psikoterapeutike quhet ritrajnim, pra, ju ritrajnoni veten, aft\u00ebsit\u00eb q\u00eb i keni. Fillimisht ju mund t\u00eb keni nj\u00eb moment t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i v\u00ebzhgoni k\u00ebto mendime, p\u00ebr shkak se prirja juaj p\u00ebr t\u2019u preokupuar p\u00ebr to rritet. Kjo, n\u00eb fakt, holl\u00eb-holl\u00eb ju ndihmon t\u00eb m\u00ebsoni se mendimet jan\u00eb thjesht form\u00eb energjie e krijuar n\u00eb mendje. Asnj\u00eb s\u2019e di p\u00ebrse i krijon mendja k\u00ebto, por pse t\u00eb shqet\u00ebsohemi? \u00cbsht\u00eb si t\u00eb pyes\u00ebsh: \u201cPse zemra rreth?\u201d. Mos b\u00ebni shum\u00eb pyetje, thjesht kuptoni e zbatoni ato gj\u00ebra q\u00eb ju duhen; t\u00eb tjerat le t\u2019i gjej\u00eb shkenca.
\nMe pak praktik\u00eb ju do t\u00eb b\u00ebheni shum\u00eb e zonja p\u00ebr t\u2019i v\u00ebzhguar mendimet dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos u p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb n\u00eb to. Dihet se ngjarjet e kaluara ruhen n\u00eb memorie. Gjendja e mendjes si dhe besimet tuaja gjithashtu ruhen n\u00eb memorie. E gjith\u00eb kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb ruajtje e pavet\u00ebdijshme pasi mendja e b\u00ebn t\u00eb gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb automatike. Kuptimet dhe interpretimet jan\u00eb krijuar n\u00eb mendje duke u bazuar n\u00eb kushtet e \u201cjashtme\u201d t\u00eb ngacmuesve t\u00eb s\u00eb kaluar\u00ebs dhe gjithashtu n\u00eb kushtet natyrore (gjenetike). K\u00ebto mendime, interpretime dhe gjykime lindin si mendime (n\u00eb mendje) dhe mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb pozitive ose negative n\u00eb var\u00ebsi t\u00eb gjendjes s\u00eb mendjes apo t\u00eb mbindjeshm\u00ebris\u00eb suaj. K\u00ebto mendime prodhohen ose lindin duke u bazuar n\u00eb incidente ose kujtime t\u00eb s\u00eb kaluar\u00ebs, projektime t\u00eb s\u00eb ardhmes dhe interpretime t\u00eb situatave t\u00eb pranishme n\u00eb jet\u00eb. Prandaj, kur mendimet jan\u00eb negative, si mendime shqet\u00ebsimi, ankthi, stresi, fyerje, faji etj., ato sjellin pengesa ose rezistenc\u00eb n\u00eb ecjen n\u00eb jet\u00eb dhe kjo rezistenc\u00eb ndihet si vuajtje. Jeta \u00ebsht\u00eb si nj\u00eb lum\u00eb energjie pozitive dhe p\u00ebr pasoj\u00eb, \u00e7do mendim negativ q\u00ebndron n\u00eb kund\u00ebrshtim me to duke shkaktuar mosmarr\u00ebveshje e cila p\u00ebrjetohet si vuajtje n\u00eb trup, pra, si ankth e depresion reagues i cili nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb depresion patologjik, pra, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb s\u00ebmundje se buron nga ankthi.
\nV\u00ebmendja juaj \u00ebsht\u00eb si benzin\u00eb p\u00ebr trupin tuaj. Vrulli i mendimeve negative ne mendjen tuaj do t\u00eb ulet dhe do t\u00eb dob\u00ebsohet automatikisht kur ju i ndaloni s\u00eb ushqyeri k\u00ebto mendime me v\u00ebmendjen tuaj. P\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb, mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrqendroheni n\u00eb mendimet pozitive; ato t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb, k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsis\u00eb, bukuris\u00eb, pasionit, paqes, vler\u00ebsimit etj. Kjo do ta ndihmoj\u00eb mendjen t\u00eb t\u00ebrheq\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb mendime pozitive dhe t\u00eb ket\u00eb pun\u00eb me to. Kjo do t\u00eb rris\u00eb edhe vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimin, edhe motivimin tuaj. Ky do t\u00eb quhet: p\u00ebrqendrimi ose praktika e vrojtimit t\u00eb mendjes.
\nP\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, do t\u2019ju k\u00ebshilloj\u00eb e ndihmoj\u00eb ndonj\u00eb psikolog klinicist me p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb n\u00eb rrethin tuaj. Gjithsesi, na telefononi n\u00eb numrin: 0692255562.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje. Un\u00eb vuaj nga parandjenja q\u00eb as vet\u00eb s\u2019e kuptoj \u00e7far\u00eb jan\u00eb dhe m\u00eb duken absurde. Jam vet\u00ebm 17 vje\u00e7e dhe n\u00eb koh\u00ebn e lir\u00eb, vet\u00ebm k\u00ebto mendoj. N\u00eb \u00e7do moment m\u00eb duket sikur do t\u00eb vdes. Kam dy vite q\u00eb jam n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje dhe n\u00eb pushimet verore m\u00eb ka ndodhur dy her\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13360","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13360","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13360"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13360\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13360"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13360"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13360"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}