{"id":1315,"date":"2014-07-13T17:05:27","date_gmt":"2014-07-13T17:05:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=1315"},"modified":"2014-07-13T17:05:27","modified_gmt":"2014-07-13T17:05:27","slug":"si-e-perballoni-krizen-e-te-40-ave","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2014\/07\/si-e-perballoni-krizen-e-te-40-ave\/","title":{"rendered":"Si e p\u00ebrballoni kriz\u00ebn e t\u00eb 40-ave?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Rreth mosh\u00ebs 40 vje\u00e7, ose m\u00eb shum\u00eb, na ndodh papritur t\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsohemi p\u00ebr koh\u00ebn q\u00eb kalon dhe nuk kthehet m\u00eb. At\u00ebhere fillojm\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb nj\u00eb lloj bilanci t\u00eb jet\u00ebs, prej t\u00eb cilit m\u00ebsojm\u00eb shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra. Mund t\u00eb themi se at\u00ebher\u00eb fillon mosha e pjekuris\u00eb, periudha kur bie maska dhe \u00e7lirohemi nga fantazit\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebrore. P\u00ebr secilin nga ne, kjo etap\u00eb e mesit t\u00eb jet\u00ebs kalohet n\u00eb m\u00ebnyra t\u00eb ndryshme. Disa kan\u00eb pengje, t\u00eb tjer\u00eb u largohen p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsive, t\u00eb tjer\u00eb kuptojn\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb u mungon n\u00eb jet\u00eb, ose disa e pranojn\u00eb jet\u00ebn, ashtu si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb. Me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, kjo periudh\u00eb \u201ckrize\u201d apo mund\u00ebsish, na rezervon surpriza t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve. P\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar si e p\u00ebrballoni ju k\u00ebt\u00eb etap\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00ebs, p\u00ebrgjigjjuni pyetjeve t\u00eb testit ton\u00eb…<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

1. N\u00eb \u00e7\u2018rast e keni d\u00ebgjuar ju t\u00eb bjer\u00eb \u201ck\u00ebmban\u00ebn e mesit t\u00eb jet\u00ebs\u201d?<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. Kur kishit dit\u00eblindjen<\/p>\n

b. Kur keni p\u00ebsuar nj\u00eb ndarje sentimentale<\/p>\n

c. Kur keni p\u00ebsuar nj\u00eb d\u00ebshtim profesional<\/p>\n

d. Kur ju ka vdekur nj\u00eb i af\u00ebrm<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt tuaj q\u00eb rriten:<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. Ju lodhin<\/p>\n

b. Ju kthejn\u00eb n\u00eb adoleshenc\u00eb<\/p>\n

c. Ju b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u2019i b\u00ebni pyetje vetes<\/p>\n

d. Ju b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb ndiheni t\u00eb plot\u00ebsuar<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

3. Deri tani, cili ishte shqet\u00ebsimi juaj m\u00eb i madh?<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. K\u00ebnaq\u00ebsia familjare<\/p>\n

b. Nevoja p\u00ebr shkujdesje<\/p>\n

c. Nj\u00eb ankth q\u00eb duhet ta kaloni<\/p>\n

d. Suksesi profesional<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

4. Buz\u00ebqeshjet tona sh\u00ebrbejn\u00eb gjithashtu p\u00ebr t\u00eb maskuar emocionet tona t\u00eb v\u00ebrteta. \u00c7far\u00eb fshihni ju, m\u00eb shpesh?<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. Keqardhjen<\/p>\n

b. Zem\u00ebrimin<\/p>\n

c. Trishtimin<\/p>\n

d. \u00cbndrrat<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

5. Ndryshimi \u00ebsht\u00eb i pashmangsh\u00ebm. Megjithat\u00eb, si arrini t\u00eb krijoni te vetja iluzionin e p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsis\u00eb?<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. Duke u ngjitur pas shenjave t\u00eb jashtme t\u00eb rinis\u00eb.<\/p>\n

b. Duke u strehuar tek e kaluara.<\/p>\n

c. Duke grumbulluar t\u00eb mira materiale<\/p>\n

d. Duke pranuar munges\u00ebn e p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsis\u00eb sipas parimeve budiste.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

6. Q\u00ebkur keni fikur 40 qirinj ose m\u00eb shum\u00eb, zgjoheni shpesh n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes:<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. Me m\u00eb pak energji<\/p>\n

b. Me nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb urgjence<\/p>\n

c. Duke i b\u00ebr\u00eb pyetje vetes<\/p>\n

d. Me zemr\u00ebn plot mir\u00ebnjohje p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn<\/p>\n

7. Cila nga k\u00ebto perspektiva do t\u2019ju k\u00ebnaqte m\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb pjes\u00ebn e dyt\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00ebs?<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. Nj\u00eb udh\u00ebtim n\u00eb t\u00eb shkuar\u00ebn p\u00ebr nj\u00eb zgjedhje t\u00eb re<\/p>\n

b. Dhurata e rinis\u00eb s\u00eb p\u00ebrjetshme<\/p>\n

c. Nj\u00eb kasafort\u00eb ku t\u00eb gjendeshin gjith\u00eb talentet tuaja dhe mund\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u q\u00ebndruar besnik\/e atyre.<\/p>\n

d. Mund\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u futur nj\u00eb rrethin e dituris\u00eb s\u00eb t\u00eb mo\u00e7m\u00ebve.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

8. Si reagoni ju p\u00ebrpara imazhit t\u00eb gruas-kugar?<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. Ju vjen keq p\u00ebr to<\/p>\n

b. Jeni nj\u00ebra prej tyre<\/p>\n

c. Ato ju fusin frik\u00ebn<\/p>\n

d. I injoroni<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

9. Rreth t\u00eb dyzetave, ju jeni nd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsuar papritur se:<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. \u00cbndrrat tuaja kishin mbetur pas<\/p>\n

b. Jeta \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e shkurt\u00ebr p\u00ebr t\u00eb ngadal\u00ebsuar ritmin<\/p>\n

c. Ka ardhur momenti i bilancit<\/p>\n

d. Q\u00eb jet\u00ebn e keni p\u00ebrpara<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

10. \u00c7far\u00eb ka mbetur nga adoleshenca juaj:<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. \u00cbndrra n\u00eb sirtar<\/p>\n

b. Nj\u00eb parajs\u00eb q\u00eb ju e rinovoni \u00e7do dit\u00eb<\/p>\n

c. Vendime q\u00eb kan\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktuar jet\u00ebn tuaj<\/p>\n

d. Eksperienca nga t\u00eb cilat keni nxjerr\u00eb m\u00ebsime<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

11. \u00c7far\u00eb q\u00ebndrimi mbani p\u00ebrball\u00eb zhg\u00ebnjimeve q\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb pashmangshme n\u00eb jet\u00eb?<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. Mbylleni n\u00eb vetvete<\/p>\n

b. Praktikoni artin e mohimit<\/p>\n

c. B\u00ebni zgjedhje t\u00eb reja<\/p>\n

d. I pranoni si burim m\u00ebsimi<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

12. \u00c7far\u00eb ju sjell nd\u00ebrmend \u201cmesi\u201d i jet\u00ebs<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. Nj\u00eb er\u00eb nostalgjie<\/p>\n

b. Nj\u00eb periudh\u00eb paq\u00ebndrueshm\u00ebrie<\/p>\n

c. Nj\u00eb djall me brir\u00eb<\/p>\n

d. Nj\u00eb etap\u00eb rritjeje<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

13. \u00c7far\u00eb ju frym\u00ebzon pleq\u00ebria?<\/strong><\/p>\n

a. Pengjet e koh\u00ebs s\u00eb shkuar<\/p>\n

b. Ju vjen t\u2019ia mbathni me t\u00eb katra prej saj<\/p>\n

c. Nj\u00eb dalje n\u00eb pension t\u00eb merituar<\/p>\n

d. Men\u00e7urin\u00eb e t\u00eb vjet\u00ebrve<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Rezultatet<\/strong><\/p>\n

N\u00ebse keni m\u00eb shum\u00eb a. Ju e p\u00ebrballoni kriz\u00ebn e t\u00eb 40-ave me pengje<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb qiri m\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb tort\u00eb, nj\u00eb ndryshim hormonal dhe menj\u00ebher\u00eb, e kuptoni: Ju, nuk keni n\u00eb dispozicion nj\u00eb koh\u00eb pa limit. Mbase keni nj\u00eb zilk\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl t\u00eb brendshme p\u00ebr t\u2019jua kujtuar vazhdimisht. M\u00eb par\u00eb, ju nuk e kishit menduar k\u00ebt\u00eb, shoq\u00ebruar kjo me nj\u00eb ndjesi lodhjeje t\u00eb prekshme, nj\u00eb energji m\u00eb t\u00eb pakt\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu, pra, keni disa pengje, q\u00eb mund t\u00eb shkojn\u00eb deri n\u00eb nj\u00eb lloj forme nostalgjie. Jeta jon\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e shoq\u00ebruar nga kalime t\u00eb shumta dhe na ndodh ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb t\u00eb kemi neglizhuar disa \u00ebndrra. Kriza e mesit t\u00eb jet\u00ebs mund t\u00eb zbuloj\u00eb k\u00ebshtu kontradiktat tona, si edhe konfliktet e brendshme. At\u00ebhere del n\u00eb pah brisht\u00ebsia jon\u00eb e brendshme, fillon nj\u00eb faz\u00eb transformimi q\u00eb nuk shkon pa probleme, bile mund t\u00eb shoq\u00ebrohet edhe me faza depresive. \u00cbsht\u00eb nj\u00eb riorganizim jete q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon, shpesh, nj\u00eb dinamik\u00eb t\u00eb re. Megjith\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb, duhet t\u00eb fillosh nj\u00eb dialog real me veten dhe ta pyes\u00ebsh at\u00eb: \u201cNga \u00e7far\u00eb kam hequr dor\u00eb me dhimbje? \u00c7far\u00eb kam tradhtuar n\u00eb vetvete?\u201d. Keni gjithmon\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb rikrijoni lidhje me vlerat tuaja t\u00eb v\u00ebrteta; nuk ka mosh\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrmbushur \u00ebndrrat…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

N\u00ebse keni m\u00eb shum\u00eb b. Ju e p\u00ebrballoni kriz\u00ebn e t\u00eb 40-ave me mohim<\/strong><\/p>\n

Duket sikur juve nuk ju prek kriza e mesit t\u00eb jet\u00ebs. E imagjinoni realitetin pa t\u00eb meta dhe mendoni vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb tashmen, me lejtmotiv, t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb i\/e k\u00ebnaqur. E vetmja re n\u00eb qiellin tuaj t\u00eb kalt\u00ebr \u00ebsht\u00eb trupi juaj q\u00eb ndryshon. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb pranoni ndryshimin, i largoheni atij. Jeni nj\u00eb adoleshent\/e i p\u00ebrjetsh\u00ebm, duke u munduar t\u00eb ndaloni koh\u00ebn q\u00eb ik\u00ebn. Jeni i p\u00ebrqendruar te vetja dhe duket sikur keni ngecur te nevoja p\u00ebr nj\u00eb rinovim t\u00eb vazhduesh\u00ebm. F\u00ebmij\u00ebria, kjo parajs\u00eb e humbur, ku mund t\u00eb arrinit gjith\u00e7ka menj\u00ebher\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb vendi ku gjeni strehim edhe sot, sepse e keni t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqeni me bot\u00ebn ashtu si \u00ebsht\u00eb. Kriza, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn ju refuzoni ta shihni n\u00eb sy, sjell me vete nj\u00eb riorientim t\u00eb thell\u00eb t\u00eb objektivave tuaja. Kur t\u00eb \u00e7liroheni nga lidhjet e ngushta q\u00eb ju lidhin me n\u00ebn\u00ebn tuaj, mund t\u00eb mos e shihni m\u00eb veten si objekti i vet\u00ebm i dashuris\u00eb dhe t\u00eb ktheheni edhe drejt t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. Vet\u00ebm dialogu i brendsh\u00ebm do t\u2019ju ndihmoj\u00eb t\u2019i jepni fund adoleshenc\u00ebs s\u00eb brendshme, p\u00ebr t\u00eb pasur m\u00eb n\u00eb fund guximin q\u00eb t\u2019u b\u00ebni ball\u00eb an\u00ebve t\u00eb shum\u00ebfishta t\u00eb karakterit tuaj dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb vendosur q\u00eb t\u00eb piqeni.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

N\u00ebse keni m\u00eb shum\u00eb c. Ju e p\u00ebrballoni kriz\u00ebn e t\u00eb 40-ave, duke i b\u00ebr\u00eb vetes pyetje ekzistenciale<\/strong><\/p>\n

N\u00eb pamje t\u00eb par\u00eb, gjith\u00e7ka shkon mir\u00eb! Keni nj\u00eb jet\u00eb profesionale t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqshme, nj\u00eb familje t\u00eb ekuilibruar, nj\u00eb lloj rehatie financiare, megjithat\u00eb nj\u00eb rrezik duket se k\u00ebrc\u00ebnon gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb nd\u00ebrtes\u00eb. Kriza e mesit t\u00eb jet\u00ebs merr te ju nj\u00eb form\u00eb ekzistenciale; nevoj\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u2019i b\u00ebr\u00eb pyetje vetes. Nuk keni pengje, as tentativ\u00eb mohimi, por thjesht, nj\u00eb nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr ndryshim. Ju nuk mund t\u00eb vazhdoni m\u00eb si m\u00eb par\u00eb, di\u00e7ka duhet t\u00eb ndryshoj\u00eb patjet\u00ebr! Si shpjegohet kjo? Shumica prej nesh, n\u00eb fillim, k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb t\u00eb realizojn\u00eb objektivat e tyre profesional\u00eb, familjar\u00eb dhe shoq\u00ebror\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu, ne b\u00ebjm\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb, at\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebrkohet prej nesh dhe n\u00eb realitet, k\u00ebto funksione, k\u00ebto role, deri tani t\u00eb dobishme, eklipsohen n\u00eb nj\u00eb moment para vlerave tona t\u00eb v\u00ebrteta. Kriza shfaqet me ndjenj\u00ebn se sigurit\u00eb q\u00eb kemi pasur deri tani, nuk vlejn\u00eb m\u00eb. At\u00ebhere, ju mund t\u00eb ndjeheni thell\u00ebsisht t\u00eb destabilizuar nga fakti se hyni n\u00eb nj\u00eb etap\u00eb tjet\u00ebr t\u00eb ciklit t\u00eb jet\u00ebs. Ju e keni kaluar jet\u00ebn duke pritur mir\u00ebnjohjen e t\u00eb af\u00ebrmve dhe shoq\u00ebris\u00eb; tani ka ardhur koha t\u00eb b\u00ebni nj\u00eb nisje t\u00eb re. Nevojitet t\u2019i b\u00ebni nj\u00eb bilanc jet\u00ebs p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjetur p\u00ebrgjigjet e pyetjeve t\u00eb tilla: Ku e keni investuar ju energjin\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrse? \u00c7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb p\u00ebrmbushni n\u00eb jet\u00ebn tuaj tani?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

N\u00ebse keni m\u00eb shum\u00eb d. Ju e p\u00ebrballoni kriz\u00ebn e t\u00eb 40-ave, duke e pranuar me qet\u00ebsi at\u00eb<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ju e p\u00ebrballoni k\u00ebt\u00eb kthes\u00eb me qet\u00ebsi, thjesht, duke e pranuar at\u00eb. Pa dyshim, keni b\u00ebr\u00eb paqe me imazhin tuaj dhe keni krijuar lidhje me aspiratat tuaja t\u00eb thella. E keni gjetur tashm\u00eb vendin tuaj n\u00eb gjirin e familjes; mbase keni pritur edhe arritjen e ndonj\u00eb nipi apo mbese. Duket se ardhur koha t\u00eb vilni frytet e pun\u00ebs suaj dhe juve nuk ju vjen aspak keq p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Pa dyshim, jeta juaj \u00ebsht\u00eb e mbushur plot, si n\u00eb planin shoq\u00ebror, ashtu edhe n\u00eb at\u00eb sentimental e familjar. Kriza e mesit t\u00eb jet\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb gjithashtu nj\u00eb mund\u00ebsi rritjeje. Kur t\u00eb gjith\u00eb element\u00ebt b\u00ebhen bashk\u00eb, mund t\u00eb b\u00ebsh p\u00ebrpara qet\u00ebsisht, drejt pjekuris\u00eb. \u00c7el\u00ebsi q\u00ebndron n\u00eb faktin q\u00eb t\u00eb mos e refuzosh kalimin e koh\u00ebs, por ta pranosh, si nj\u00eb mund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr t\u00eb patur raporti t\u00eb ri me veten. Kalimi n\u00eb t\u00eb 40-tat \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht ai i bilanceve dhe dor\u00ebheqjes, por edhe i rilindjes, me kusht q\u00eb t\u2019i p\u00ebrjetosh t\u00eb gjitha etapat, q\u00eb t\u00eb arrish objektivat e tua.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Rreth mosh\u00ebs 40 vje\u00e7, ose m\u00eb shum\u00eb, na ndodh papritur t\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsohemi p\u00ebr koh\u00ebn q\u00eb kalon dhe nuk kthehet m\u00eb. At\u00ebhere fillojm\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb nj\u00eb lloj bilanci t\u00eb jet\u00ebs, prej t\u00eb cilit m\u00ebsojm\u00eb shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra. Mund t\u00eb themi se at\u00ebher\u00eb fillon mosha e pjekuris\u00eb, periudha kur bie maska dhe \u00e7lirohemi nga fantazit\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebrore. P\u00ebr secilin […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[176],"class_list":["post-1315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-test","tag-si-e-perballoni-krizen-e-te-40-ave"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1315","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1315"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1315\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1315"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1315"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1315"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}