Jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb 26 vje\u00e7e. Vendosa t\u2019ju shkruaj q\u00eb ta b\u00ebj publike historin\u00eb time duke ditur se gazeta juaj lexohet nga shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz. Un\u00eb kam nj\u00eb histori t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb nga ato t\u00eb vajzave t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs sime. Ndoshta ato kan\u00eb problem me t\u00eb dashurit se i tradhtojn\u00eb apo nuk i duan sa sto, kurse un\u00eb kam problem se nuk po arrij ta largoj dot t\u00eb fejuarin tim! Ndoshta do t\u00eb habiteni nga kjo q\u00eb sapo lexuat, por ja ku po jua tregoj se pse…
\nUn\u00eb isha 16 vje\u00e7e dhe isha n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb t\u00eb mesme kur u dashurova me t\u00eb. Ai ishte maturant dhe e donim shum\u00eb nj\u00ebri-tjetrin. Kur ai mbaroi, nuk u fut n\u00eb universitet sepse nuk kishte nota shum\u00eb t\u00eb mira. Punoi disa koh\u00eb si kamerier, m\u00eb von\u00eb u fut n\u00eb nj\u00eb kurs p\u00ebr xhenerik dhe filloi pun\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb servis. Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb, un\u00eb vazhdoja shkoll\u00ebn e mesme. Ende nuk ishim prezantuar me familjet p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs dhe takoheshim kur t\u00eb kishim mund\u00ebsi, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos binim n\u00eb sy. Mir\u00ebpo edhe pse nuk ishim t\u00eb fejuar, un\u00eb mbeta shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb duke e ditur se n\u00eb k\u00ebto koh\u00eb, Shqip\u00ebria ka mjaft vende ku mund t\u00eb takohesh fshehurazi e t\u00eb b\u00ebsh \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb duash. Kjo ndodhi kur un\u00eb isha n\u00eb vitin e fundit, pra 18 vje\u00e7e.
\n– Duhet t\u2019ua themi prind\u00ebrve. – m\u00eb tha ai, kur e mori vesh.
\n– Po, pak muaj mund ta fsheh. Nuk kemi pse nxitohemi.
\n– T\u00eb nxitohemi!? E pse nuk duhet t\u2019ua themi? – u nxeh ai me t\u00eb drejt\u00eb. Jo shum\u00eb djem mund t\u00eb ta k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb menj\u00ebher\u00eb t\u00eb martohesh.
\n– Po ja, ndoshta nuk mund ta mbajm\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb. T\u00eb dy jemi t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl dhe nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb martohemi t\u00eb rinj dhe t\u00eb na pritet jeta n\u00eb mes.
\n– Nuk e kuptoj ku do t\u00eb dal\u00ebsh… Ti nuk e do k\u00ebt\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb?
\n– E dua \u2013 i thash\u00eb – por…
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb por? Shprehu qart\u00eb q\u00eb ta marr vesh se ku e ke hallin.
\n– Po sikur ta abortoj? N\u00eb t\u00eb rinj jemi e do t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb.
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb? – u skandalizua ai – N\u00eb vend q\u00eb k\u00ebto fjal\u00eb t\u2019i thoja un\u00eb q\u00eb jam djal\u00eb dhe asnj\u00eb djal\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb martohet kaq shpejt, i thua ti! Nejse, n\u00ebse do, mund ta heq\u00ebsh. Un\u00eb t\u00eb dua aq shum\u00eb sa do ta pranoja edhe k\u00ebt\u00eb krim.
\n– Krim!? – u habita.
\n– Po, krim \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb vras\u00ebsh nj\u00eb shpirt. Pse, si t\u00eb duket ty?
\nN\u00eb fakt, ashtu ishte. Nuk e kisha menduar k\u00ebshtu. Thjesht po mendoja vet\u00ebm se \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb thon\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt e asgj\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb. Nuk po mendoja as p\u00ebr veten se \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb hiqja e \u00e7\u2019e keqe do t\u00eb m\u00eb vinte m\u00eb pas dhe as p\u00ebr nj\u00eb shpirt q\u00eb do ta vrisja pa faj.
\n– M\u00eb fal, zem\u00ebr… Por, q\u00eb n\u00eb \u00e7astin q\u00eb e mora vesh jam si e hutuar dhe nuk e dija se \u00e7\u2019po flisja. P\u00ebr momentin ta mbajm\u00eb t\u00eb fsheht\u00eb e t\u00eb gjejm\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019ua th\u00ebn\u00eb prind\u00ebrve, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos inatosen.
\n– K\u00ebtu jam dakord me ty.
\nIsha me fat q\u00eb kisha n\u00eb krah nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb. Ishte shum\u00eb i pjekur p\u00ebr mosh\u00ebn q\u00eb kishte, por edhe pse ai m\u00eb jepte kurajo, un\u00eb ndjeja nj\u00eb boshll\u00ebk n\u00eb zem\u00ebr dhe isha b\u00ebr\u00eb pak si e hutuar. Edhe n\u00eb m\u00ebsime kisha r\u00ebn\u00eb pak. Jo se kisha t\u00eb vjella a gj\u00ebra t\u00eb tjera q\u00eb i ka shtatzania, por ndihesha me faj q\u00eb kisha b\u00ebr\u00eb di\u00e7ka jasht\u00eb normave. Familja ime ishte shum\u00eb e disiplinuar dhe ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht mami, ishte shum\u00eb e preokupuar p\u00ebr nderin ton\u00eb. Kaluan dy muajt e par\u00eb dhe meqen\u00ebse un\u00eb kisha nj\u00eb fizik t\u00eb dob\u00ebt, nuk dukesha fare q\u00eb isha shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb. Shkolla mbaroi, por n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb koh\u00eb edhe un\u00eb po prisja se \u00e7far\u00eb dege do t\u00eb m\u00eb dilte p\u00ebr n\u00eb universitet. Po e prisja me padurim p\u00ebr dy arsye. E para, se kisha nota t\u00eb mira dhe kisha m\u00ebsuar gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebs p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb \u00e7ast dhe e dyta, n\u00ebse m\u00eb dilte nj\u00eb deg\u00eb e mir\u00eb (q\u00eb sigurisht do t\u00eb m\u00eb dilte, nga rezultatet e mia t\u00eb shk\u00eblqyera) do ta kisha m\u00eb t\u00eb leht\u00eb t\u2019ua thoja prind\u00ebrve se isha shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb.
\nKjo b\u00ebri q\u00eb t\u00eb isha edhe m\u00eb e menduar. Jo vet\u00ebm n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, por edhe kur dilja, isha sikur jetoja n\u00eb nj\u00eb bot\u00eb tjet\u00ebr. Kur hidhja hapat n\u00ebp\u00ebr rrug\u00eb, nuk e kisha mendjen te rruga, por tek ato q\u00eb m\u00eb mundonin, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb p\u00ebr fatin tim t\u00eb zi, teksa po kaloja rrug\u00ebn n\u00eb nj\u00eb dit\u00eb tep\u00ebr t\u00eb nxeht\u00eb vere, nj\u00eb makin\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebrplasi keq n\u00eb trotuar. Ishte nj\u00eb shofere e re q\u00eb sapo kishte marr\u00eb patent\u00ebn. P\u00ebrnj\u00ebher\u00eb m\u00eb humb\u00ebn ndjenjat dhe nuk mbaj mend asgj\u00eb, vet\u00ebm veten n\u00eb spital pas shum\u00eb or\u00ebsh. Mbi kok\u00ebn time q\u00ebndronin gati gjith\u00eb fisi. Kur hapa syt\u00eb, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb m\u00eb buz\u00ebqeshnin. N\u00eb at\u00eb \u00e7ast, infermierja iu tha se duhej t\u00eb dilnin jasht\u00eb e me mua t\u00eb rrinin vet\u00ebm t\u00eb familjes.
\n– Mir\u00eb se u ktheve, bij\u00eb! – M\u00eb tha babai, nd\u00ebrsa n\u00ebna i kishte syt\u00eb me lot dhe qortues. P\u00ebrnj\u00ebher\u00eb u kujtova dhe vura dor\u00ebn te barku. N\u00ebna vuri dor\u00ebn e saj tek e imja dhe ia plasi t\u00eb qarit.
\n– M\u00eb fal mami! – thash\u00eb me nj\u00eb z\u00eb q\u00eb mezi ma d\u00ebgjuan. \u2013 un\u00eb\u2026 doja t\u00eb t\u00eb treg…
\n– Mos u sforco t\u00eb flas\u00ebsh, zem\u00ebr. – m\u00eb tha babai.
\n– Ti je e re, ke gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn para, do b\u00ebhesh se s\u2019b\u00ebn n\u00ebn\u00eb. Duhej t\u00eb ma kishe th\u00ebn\u00eb mua, por s\u2019ka gj\u00eb. Jeta k\u00ebshtu \u00ebsht\u00eb, moj vajz\u00eb. Nuk ka qen\u00eb e shkruar t\u00eb vinte n\u00eb jet\u00eb. \u2013 tha mami mes lot\u00ebsh.
\n\u201cPra, e paskam humbur f\u00ebmij\u00ebn, mendova. Un\u00eb ia dola, nd\u00ebrsa f\u00ebmija jo. Kisha dashur ta abortoja dhe ai ia gjeti m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn q\u00eb t\u00eb mos vinte n\u00eb jet\u00eb e un\u00eb t\u00eb mos shqet\u00ebsohesha.\u201d.
\nN\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb, doktori hyri n\u00eb dhom\u00eb dhe m\u00eb shk\u00ebputi nga k\u00ebto mendime.
\n– Qenke zgjuar? – m\u00eb pyeti ai, edhe pse e dinte k\u00ebt\u00eb nga infermierja q\u00eb ishte aty kur un\u00eb u zgjova. – Ti je shum\u00eb e fort\u00eb. P\u00ebrballove nj\u00eb aksident q\u00eb mund t\u00eb kishte p\u00ebrfunduar ndryshe.
\n– E p\u00ebrballova? Edhe pse humba\u2026
\n– Po t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn shp\u00ebtove ti, – ma nd\u00ebrpreu ai at\u00eb q\u00eb po thosha. \u2013 Ti tani duhet t\u00eb mendosh p\u00ebr gj\u00ebra t\u00eb tjera. Duhet t\u00eb jesh e fort\u00eb ta p\u00ebrballosh jet\u00ebn. Je shum\u00eb e re dhe me sa kam marr\u00eb vesh un\u00eb, je nj\u00eb nx\u00ebn\u00ebse e shk\u00eblqyer. – Gjith\u00eb k\u00ebto l\u00ebvdata nuk m\u2019u duk\u00ebn shenj\u00eb e mir\u00eb, por nuk e mendova gjat\u00eb. – Tani duhet ta lini t\u00eb qet\u00eb dhe t\u00eb mos grumbulloheni shum\u00eb veta k\u00ebtu. \u2013 u tha prind\u00ebrve.
\n– Dakord doktor, po p\u00ebrgjigjja q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb dilte n\u00eb or\u00ebn 5, a doli? – e pyeti babi.
\n– Po, prandaj erdha. P\u00ebr momentin, – u kthye nga un\u00eb \u2013 ti nuk je n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb ec\u00ebsh si m\u00eb par\u00eb. Nuk dua t\u00eb t\u00eb fsheh asgj\u00eb se e di q\u00eb kam t\u00eb b\u00ebj me nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb t\u00eb fort\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb vullnet. Me fizioterapi, gjith\u00e7ka do t\u00eb rregullohet – k\u00ebto fjal\u00eb ishin si nj\u00eb \u00e7eki\u00e7 n\u00eb kok\u00ebn time. \u2013 do t\u00eb kaloj\u00eb pak koh\u00eb, por n\u00ebse do t\u00eb punosh shum\u00eb me trupin t\u00ebnd, do t\u00eb ec\u00ebsh ashtu si m\u00eb par\u00eb. N\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt, nuk e di se \u00e7far\u00eb mund t\u00eb them\u2026 – e la fjal\u00ebn p\u00ebrgjysm\u00eb, por un\u00eb e kuptova se \u00e7far\u00eb donte t\u00eb thoshte.
\n– Po doktor… – n\u00ebna nuk po arrinte t\u00eb gjente fjal\u00ebt. \u2013 vajza nuk do t\u00eb…
\n– Asgj\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb jet\u00eb e p\u00ebrhershme, un\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb po thoja. Duhet shum\u00eb pun\u00eb e optimiz\u00ebm dhe \u00e7do gj\u00eb do t\u00eb jet\u00eb si m\u00eb par\u00eb. Tani po iki se kam nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr pacient q\u00eb po m\u00eb pret. Do t\u00eb kthehem p\u00ebrs\u00ebri.
\nN\u00ebna ende qante e nuk gjente dot guximin t\u00eb m\u00eb thoshte ndonj\u00eb fjal\u00eb. Babai kishte ulur kok\u00ebn nd\u00ebr duar. Mua po m\u00eb dilnin instinktivisht lot\u00ebt nga syt\u00eb duke m\u00eb r\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb jast\u00ebk.
\nBrenda disa or\u00ebve jeta ime kishte marr\u00eb nj\u00eb kthes\u00eb t\u00eb fuqishme. Ishte shkat\u00ebrruar gjith\u00e7ka n\u00eb pak minuta nga ai aksident. E si mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhesha e fort\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebto kushte? Pse? Pse? Vet\u00ebm kjo pyetje m\u00eb shkonte nd\u00ebrmend, por nga qet\u00ebsuesit, rash\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebri n\u00eb gjum\u00eb e k\u00ebshtu, disa dit\u00eb n\u00eb spital kaluan nj\u00ebsoj. Njer\u00ebz vinin e m\u00eb shihnin duke iu ardhur keq p\u00ebr mua. N\u00ebna e babai q\u00eb rrinin aty si dy njer\u00ebz t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk e dinin \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebnin e un\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb flija nga qet\u00ebsuesit e kur isha zgjuar nuk kisha \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb thoja. Fillova fizioterapin\u00eb dhe pas disa dit\u00ebsh, dola nga spitali. Fizioterapisti m\u00eb vinte n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi.
\n– T\u00eb lutem, p\u00ebrkushtohu pak. Po nuk deshe me shpirt t\u00eb sh\u00ebrohesh, \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb. \u2013 m\u00eb tha terapisti nj\u00eb dit\u00eb.
\nPo un\u00eb asgj\u00eb nuk po ndjeja. Nj\u00eb dit\u00eb ra dera dhe d\u00ebgjova se mami po fliste m\u00eb nj\u00eb djal\u00eb. Pas pak \u00e7astesh, n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn ku un\u00eb isha shtrir\u00eb u fut Altini. Nuk po iu besoja syve. Ai u afrua drejt meje dhe mb\u00ebshteti kok\u00ebn te gjoksi ime e ashtu duke qar\u00eb, kaloi disa \u00e7aste.
\n– Zem\u00ebr, si je? – u kujtua ai t\u00eb thoshte pasi fshiu lot\u00ebt. \u2013 nuk e dija \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebja kur e mora vesh. Por sot e vendosa dhe nuk rrija dot pa t\u00eb par\u00eb. Gjith\u00e7ka do t\u00eb rregullohet…
\n– Gjith\u00e7ka? Po un\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb eci m\u00eb. K\u00ebt\u00eb e di?
\n– E di zem\u00ebr, por di dhe se kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e p\u00ebrhershme. Ti do t\u00eb luftosh, un\u00eb do t\u00eb t\u00eb ndihmoj e s\u00eb bashku do t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb q\u00eb ti t\u00eb ec\u00ebsh p\u00ebrs\u00ebri. Jeta \u00ebsht\u00eb e gjat\u00eb, kemi koh\u00eb sa t\u00eb duash.
\n– Po ti do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb durosh q\u00eb e fejuara jote t\u00eb ec\u00eb me karroc\u00eb?
\n– Un\u00eb t\u00eb dua sido q\u00eb t\u00eb jesh, zem\u00ebr.
\nAi nuk bindej t\u00eb hiqte dor\u00eb nga un\u00eb. Pas pak dit\u00ebsh solli n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi prind\u00ebrit e tij p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrkuar dor\u00ebn. Un\u00eb nuk dola fare nga dhoma. E pse duhej t\u00eb dilja? Q\u00eb vjehrri dhe vjehrra t\u00eb shikonin nusen n\u00eb karroc\u00eb? Nesje, at\u00eb dit\u00eb babai nuk iu dha p\u00ebrgjigje. Altini vinte \u00e7do dit\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb shihte. Nganj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk ikte nat\u00ebn po flinte te k\u00ebmb\u00ebt e krevatit tim. Un\u00eb nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb e vazhdoja terapin\u00eb, por nuk kisha ende ndryshim. P\u00ebr fat, m\u00eb doli dhe shkolla e lart\u00eb, nj\u00eb nga deg\u00ebt m\u00eb t\u00eb preferuara.
\n– Nuk do t\u00eb shkoj n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb. \u2013 u thash\u00eb prind\u00ebrve dhe Altinit. \u2013 nuk shkoj me karroc\u00eb invalidi, t\u00eb m\u00eb qeshin t\u00eb gjith\u00eb.
\n– E ke gabim zem\u00ebr, – m\u00eb tha Altini dhe m\u00eb mori e m\u00eb \u00e7oi dit\u00ebn e par\u00eb t\u00eb shkoll\u00ebs duke e shtyr\u00eb vet\u00eb karroc\u00ebn. At\u00eb dit\u00eb pash\u00eb se asnj\u00eb nuk u tall me mua, madje m\u00eb ofruan ndihm\u00ebn e tyre. Megjithat\u00eb, un\u00eb nuk ndihesha optimiste p\u00ebr asgj\u00eb.
\n– K\u00ebt\u00eb t\u00eb diel do t\u00eb fejohemi. – m\u00eb tha Altini.
\n– Un\u00eb nuk fejohem k\u00ebshtu si\u00e7 jam. Ti duhet t\u00eb m\u00eb l\u00ebsh mua e t\u00eb vazhdosh jet\u00ebn t\u00ebnde.
\n– As q\u00eb m\u00eb shkon nd\u00ebrmend nj\u00eb gj\u00eb e till\u00eb. Ne i kemi b\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha p\u00ebrgatitjet.
\n– Kush, ne? – pyeta.
\n– Dy familjet. Nuk ka kuptim kjo pun\u00eb. Ne bashk\u00eb rrim\u00eb e t\u00eb mos fejohemi?! Nuk kemi asnj\u00eb t\u00eb huaj, vet\u00ebm dy familjet.
\nE b\u00ebm\u00eb fejes\u00ebn, por un\u00eb ndihesha sikur po mbytesha. Nuk do t\u00eb arrija t\u00eb ecja e nuk e di si do t\u00eb shkonte kjo fejes\u00eb.
\nEnde sot e k\u00ebsaj dite vazhdoj t\u00eb jem e lidhur me Altinin. Tani nuk eci n\u00eb karroc\u00eb, por me paterica. Dua q\u00eb ai t\u00eb largohet nga un\u00eb e t\u00eb vazhdoj\u00eb jet\u00ebn e tij, por e kam t\u00eb pamundur ta b\u00ebj k\u00ebt\u00eb. Tani mua m\u00eb duan shum\u00eb edhe prind\u00ebrit e tij dhe prind\u00ebrit e mi e duan Altinin shum\u00eb, por un\u00eb nuk dua ta pengoj m\u00eb at\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e tij. Nuk i dihet n\u00eb do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb jem dot normale e kur do t\u00eb jem. Mjaft vite ka kaluar ai duke pritur sh\u00ebrimin tim… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb 26 vje\u00e7e. Vendosa t\u2019ju shkruaj q\u00eb ta b\u00ebj publike historin\u00eb time duke ditur se gazeta juaj lexohet nga shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz. Un\u00eb kam nj\u00eb histori t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb nga ato t\u00eb vajzave t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs sime. Ndoshta ato kan\u00eb problem me t\u00eb dashurit se i tradhtojn\u00eb apo nuk i duan sa sto, kurse […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":12112,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13084","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13084"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13084\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12112"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13084"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13084"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13084"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}