– I nderuar psikolog Demiraj! Ju vler\u00ebsoj p\u00ebr shkrimet n\u00eb gazet\u00ebn \u201cIntervista\u201d. Un\u00eb kam d\u00ebshir\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb shkruani p\u00ebr t\u00eb qarat e njeriut. P\u00ebr shembull, sapo lind f\u00ebmija, fillon t\u00eb qaj\u00eb, a thua se k\u00ebrkon mb\u00ebshtetje prej n\u00ebn\u00ebs s\u00eb tij. T\u00eb qarat n\u00eb jet\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb shumta, n\u00eb vdekje n\u00eb g\u00ebzime e me k\u00ebto emocione na rrjedhin lot\u00ebt. Si ndihemi ne, a ndihemi mir\u00eb apo keq? E pres me padurim nga ana juaj t\u00eb trajtoni nj\u00eb shkrim m\u00eb gjer\u00eb me shembuj konkret\u00eb. Me respekt, Tahir Zekthi.
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klini\u00e7ist: – I nderuar Tahir, ju fal\u00ebnderoj p\u00ebr letrat q\u00eb na i \u00e7oni her\u00eb pas here dhe p\u00ebr vler\u00ebsimet tuaja. E qara \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb nevoj\u00eb psikofiziologjike e njeriut, n\u00eb \u00e7do mosh\u00eb. \u00c7do psikolog k\u00ebshillon 4 gj\u00ebra q\u00eb duhet t\u2019i b\u00ebjm\u00eb: 1. Qani, 2. Qeshni. 3. Hapuni me nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr (me dik\u00eb t\u00eb \u201chajrit\u201d, si\u00e7 thot\u00eb populli). 4. Heshtni (me manipulator\u00ebt e thashethemexhinjt\u00eb se ata nuk din\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb ndryshe). Pra e qara \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb nevoj\u00eb, nj\u00eb antistres i njeriut q\u00eb na duhet p\u00ebr gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn. Ajo t\u00eb \u00e7liron, mir\u00ebpo ne k\u00ebtu n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri na kan\u00eb m\u00ebsuar se \u201c\u00ebsht\u00eb turp q\u00eb t\u00eb qajm\u00eb\u201d se \u201cburrat nuk qajn\u00eb\u201d etj.) pra kjo p\u00ebrkthehet: \u201cp\u00ebllcit, por mos qaj\u201d. Nga kjo lloj edukate q\u00eb kemi marr\u00eb, ne shtr\u00ebngojm\u00eb veten dhe nuk i l\u00ebm\u00eb lot\u00ebt q\u00eb t\u00eb na dalin, pra, nuk e p\u00ebrdorim k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201cmjet\u201d t\u00eb bukur q\u00eb na e ka dh\u00ebn\u00eb \u201carkitekti\u201d p\u00ebr t\u00eb hapur \u201cvalvulat\u201d e shkarkimit t\u00eb m\u00ebrzis\u00eb, dhimbjes, depresionit, madje edhe t\u00eb g\u00ebzimit. Po, po, edhe t\u00eb g\u00ebzimit! A e dini p\u00ebrse ne qeshim me lot? Sepse tejkalohet masa e ndjenj\u00ebs dhe lot\u00ebt na e \u201czbusin\u201d. Diku, n\u00eb nj\u00eb lib\u00ebr, kam shkruar edhe p\u00ebr lot\u00ebt e orgazm\u00ebs ose ofshama, si\u00e7 thuhet. Edhe k\u00ebtu, lot\u00ebt e zbusin ose e amortizojn\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsin\u00eb e madhe gati t\u00eb pap\u00ebrballueshme q\u00eb sjell orgazma, ndaj quhen normale, madje edhe britmat ose r\u00ebnkimet e ofsham\u00ebs, prandaj ato nuk duhen ndaluar, si\u00e7 veprohet shpesh nga turpi i femrave, q\u00eb un\u00eb e kam quajtur \u201cturpi i rrem\u00eb\u201d. Kur kam par\u00eb praktikat gjat\u00eb specializimit n\u00eb Lond\u00ebr n\u00eb vitin 1994, jam \u00e7uditur kur e soll\u00ebn te psikologu nj\u00eb \u201calamet burri\u201d dhe kur ai dhe e shoqja b\u00ebn\u00eb \u00e7mos q\u00eb ta b\u00ebnin t\u00eb qante. Ata u g\u00ebzuan si f\u00ebmij\u00ebt kur ai shp\u00ebrtheu n\u00eb t\u00eb qara, pra, u \u00e7lirua si t\u00eb kishte vuajtur nga ndonj\u00eb \u201ckapsll\u00ebk shpirt\u00ebror\u201d. Ndaj edhe n\u00eb popull thuhet se pas lot\u00ebve, syt\u00eb shohin m\u00eb mir\u00eb dhe kjo e shum\u00eb shprehje t\u00eb tjera jan\u00eb brilante n\u00eb gjuh\u00ebn shqipe, si ato q\u00eb, \u201cose do qajm\u00eb, ose do t\u00eb qeshim\u201d (pra, q\u00eb g\u00ebzimi e brenga alternohen e jan\u00eb normale) ose: \u201cpo nuk qau f\u00ebmija, nuk i jep e \u00ebma gji\u201d etj. Ja ku dol\u00ebm te t\u00eb qarat e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat ju m\u00eb pyesni. Ashtu si n\u00eb bot\u00ebn e kafsh\u00ebve bleg\u00ebrimat (apo cing\u00ebrimat, kur lindin k\u00eblysh\u00ebt) ato jan\u00eb si sinjal i ardhjes n\u00eb jet\u00eb, nj\u00eb sinjal natyror, i cili lajm\u00ebron ose th\u00ebrret p\u00ebr ndihm\u00eb. Jo vet\u00ebm kaq, por t\u00eb qarat e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs ndihmojn\u00eb p\u00ebr hapjen e mushk\u00ebrive dhe qarkullimin m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb gjakut, e kan\u00eb nj\u00eb q\u00ebllim, nj\u00eb funksion… Tjet\u00ebr gj\u00eb jan\u00eb ato q\u00eb shpikin njer\u00ebzit kur thon\u00eb se e qara tregon se jeta do t\u00eb ket\u00eb shum\u00eb halle etj., kur n\u00eb fakt, t\u00eb qarat e foshnjes s\u00eb sapolindur tregojn\u00eb sh\u00ebndet t\u00eb mir\u00eb e funksionimin e duhur e normal.
\n– Pra, e qara na b\u00ebn mir\u00eb, ndaj le ta kuptojm\u00eb e ta mir\u00ebp\u00ebrdorim k\u00ebt\u00eb mjet magjik normal, sa her\u00eb q\u00eb na vjen n\u00eb ndihm\u00eb. Student\u00ebt e mi t\u00eb psikologjis\u00eb, kur ishin fillestar\u00eb, u \u00e7udit\u00ebn kur u thash\u00eb se ne do t\u00eb jemi psikolog\u00eb t\u00eb aft\u00eb jo vet\u00ebm po qe se do t\u00eb jemi d\u00ebgjues t\u00eb mir\u00eb, por n\u00ebse do t\u2019i b\u00ebjm\u00eb klientet t\u00eb shprehen e t\u00eb qajn\u00eb dhe t\u2019i l\u00ebm\u00eb m\u00eb pas q\u00eb t\u00eb qajn\u00eb. M\u00eb pas, n\u00eb leksione i zb\u00ebrthyem me detaje dobit\u00eb e m\u00ebdha q\u00eb kan\u00eb e qara dhe e qeshura, t\u00eb cilat me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb e fundosin depresionin. Le t\u00eb marrim nj\u00eb shembull: M\u00eb soll\u00ebn nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb adoleshente s\u00eb cil\u00ebs i kishte \u201cvdekur\u201d qeni i saj shum\u00eb i dashur dhe ajo qante shum\u00eb. E kishin \u00e7uar te nj\u00eb psikiat\u00ebr dhe ai i kishte dh\u00ebn\u00eb dy barna antidepresive, deri n\u00eb doza gjum\u00ebv\u00ebn\u00ebse dhe ajo nuk ishte n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb m\u00ebsonte. Un\u00eb i binda e i k\u00ebshillova prind\u00ebrit q\u00eb vajza nuk ka s\u00ebmundje sepse depresioni i saj quhet normal e kalimtar, ajo do vet\u00ebm ngroht\u00ebsi e veprimtari, por edhe t\u00eb qaj\u00eb, sepse duke ia penguar lot\u00ebt, ne nuk e l\u00ebm\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb nxjerr\u00eb breng\u00ebn e t\u00eb \u00e7lirohet. K\u00ebshtu u b\u00eb, i b\u00ebm\u00eb nja 4-5 seanca, i dhash\u00eb edhe pak xhinseng (ila\u00e7 100 % bimor) dhe vajza vazhdoi t\u00eb shk\u00eblqej\u00eb jo vet\u00ebm nga humori, por edhe si m\u00eb par\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebsime. Duke qen\u00eb se e kishte lumin Lana af\u00ebr, i thash\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i hidhte aty ila\u00e7et antidepresive gjum\u00ebv\u00ebn\u00ebse…
\n\u201cPo nuset, pse qajn\u00eb?\u201d, pyesin disa. N\u00eb fakt, ata jan\u00eb lot g\u00ebzimi, lot emocionesh, prandaj kan\u00eb \u201clezetin\u201d e vet. Ndaj thot\u00eb edhe nj\u00eb k\u00ebng\u00eb \u201cun\u00eb nuk qaj, por \u00ebsht\u00eb zakon\u201d… Mua m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebrshtypje m\u00eb ka b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb shprehje se \u201cjeta fillohet duke qar\u00eb… dhe mbyllet duke r\u00ebnkuar…\u201d Deri diku kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb th\u00ebnie e drejt\u00eb, pasi lindja dhe vdekja, q\u00eb nuk i ka n\u00eb dor\u00eb njeriu, jan\u00eb si dy kapak\u00ebt e nj\u00eb libri q\u00eb njeriu pothuajse e shkruan vet\u00eb, por me ndihmen e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve… Por, p\u00ebr nj\u00eb gj\u00eb nuk jam dakord, pse duhet t\u00eb mbyllet jeta duke qar\u00eb e r\u00ebnkuar nga pleq\u00ebria? Po truri \u00e7\u2019b\u00ebn?! Pse njeriu t\u00eb mos k\u00ebnaqet me ato q\u00eb ka e me ato q\u00eb i kan\u00eb mbetur? Un\u00eb, shpesh, i them vetes: \u201csikur edhe plak mbi 100 vje\u00e7ar t\u00eb b\u00ebhesh, sikur edhe me pelena apo i s\u00ebmur\u00eb t\u00eb jem, sapo t\u00eb \u00e7el syt\u00eb e t\u00eb shoh Diellin, n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes do t\u00eb mendoj: ja edhe nj\u00eb dit\u00eb e bukur p\u00ebr ta jetuar\u201d… Duket si utopi, por kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb bindja ime se k\u00ebt\u00eb ka b\u00ebr\u00eb edhe im at\u00eb, i cili ka vdekur si duke qeshur, ndjes\u00eb past\u00eb! Besoj se fol\u00ebm mjaft p\u00ebr t\u00eb qarat? Edhe di\u00e7ka: si\u00e7 thuhet, \u00e7do gj\u00eb me mas\u00eb e teprica haram, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb qajm\u00eb aq sa duhet e jo sa t\u00eb na dhemb\u00eb koka, si dhe t\u00eb mos ua prishim t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve atmosfer\u00ebn duke u b\u00ebr\u00eb psikovampir\u00eb depresiv\u00eb. Edhe di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr t\u00eb qeshur: s\u2019b\u00ebhet vreshti me t\u00eb qara e as urata, por me shata e lopata… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– I nderuar psikolog Demiraj! Ju vler\u00ebsoj p\u00ebr shkrimet n\u00eb gazet\u00ebn \u201cIntervista\u201d. Un\u00eb kam d\u00ebshir\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb shkruani p\u00ebr t\u00eb qarat e njeriut. P\u00ebr shembull, sapo lind f\u00ebmija, fillon t\u00eb qaj\u00eb, a thua se k\u00ebrkon mb\u00ebshtetje prej n\u00ebn\u00ebs s\u00eb tij. T\u00eb qarat n\u00eb jet\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb shumta, n\u00eb vdekje n\u00eb g\u00ebzime e me k\u00ebto […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12879","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12879","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12879"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12879\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12879"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12879"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12879"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}