<\/p>\n
– I nderuar Doktor Demiri, jam nj\u00eb 27 vje\u00e7are, vajz\u00eb e vetme dhe jetoj me t\u00eb dy prind\u00ebrit. Problemi im \u00ebsht\u00eb se p\u00ebr fat t\u00eb keq, kam nj\u00eb baba shum\u00eb egoist q\u00eb nuk ka menduar kurr\u00eb p\u00ebr n\u00ebn\u00ebn time. Ai jetoi 20 vjet n\u00eb emigrim dhe vinte sikur ishte djali i sht\u00ebpis\u00eb e jo si baba. P\u00ebr n\u00ebn\u00ebn ka pasur gjithmon\u00eb p\u00ebr\u00e7mim. Tani \u00ebsht\u00eb kthyer pa kok\u00ebrr leku nga emigrimi dhe e keqja \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb nuk p\u00ebrfitoi as pension dhe pret q\u00eb ta mbajm\u00eb ne. Ne punojm\u00eb t\u00eb dyja plot sakrifica dhe nuk ia dalim dot. Ndoshta ting\u00ebllon pak ashp\u00ebr, por ajo q\u00eb m\u00eb shqet\u00ebson m\u00eb shum\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb ai nuk mendon se un\u00eb lodhem gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn n\u00eb pun\u00eb e kthehem n\u00eb 6, nuk kam koh\u00eb p\u00ebr veten time. Nuk kam koh\u00eb t\u00eb njoh nj\u00eb njeri p\u00ebr t\u00eb lidhur jet\u00ebn se jam gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn n\u00eb pun\u00eb dhe kur kthehem, laj, shp\u00eblaj, gatuaj dhe ajo q\u00eb marr si p\u00ebrgjigje \u00ebsht\u00eb: \u201cnuk gjej asgj\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb ngr\u00ebn\u00eb\u201d. Gjithmon\u00eb ha ushqimin ton\u00eb, pa pyetur se \u00e7\u2019do ham\u00eb ne. Thot\u00eb: \u201cE h\u00ebngra se, po t\u00eb jem un\u00eb mir\u00eb, do jesh edhe ti\u201d. Fillova t\u00eb fshihja pjat\u00ebn e gjell\u00ebs p\u00ebr t\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen kur u ktheva nga puna, se nuk gjeja gj\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb ngr\u00ebn\u00eb. K\u00ebto jan\u00eb detaje shum\u00eb banale, q\u00eb mua m\u00eb vjen zor t\u2019i diskutoj, por k\u00ebto jan\u00eb mund\u00ebsit\u00eb tona, doktor. Un\u00eb dhe mami punojm\u00eb gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn p\u00ebr nj\u00eb cop\u00eb buk\u00eb dhe nuk kemi buk\u00eb t\u00eb ham\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi! Jemi v\u00ebrtet n\u00eb hall se babai ha, pi, rri, b\u00ebn rr\u00ebmuj\u00eb sikur i b\u00ebn kastile, sillet si nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb i llastuar. Si i vete halli doktor, se nuk kalohet jeta k\u00ebshtu? Jam munduar t\u00eb flas me t\u00eb, por m\u00eb jep t\u00eb drejt\u00eb e pastaj vepron si\u00e7 e ka zakon. \u00cbsht\u00eb shum\u00eb kok\u00ebfort\u00eb dhe nuk d\u00ebgjon njeri p\u00ebr asgj\u00eb. Si do ta quanit ju k\u00ebt\u00eb prind? Ajo \u00e7ka m\u00eb b\u00ebn konfuze \u00ebsht\u00eb se gjendem para nj\u00eb situate ku f\u00ebmija e do prindin si gj\u00ebn\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb \u00e7muar q\u00eb ka, por nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht, sfilitet p\u00ebr ta mbajtur at\u00eb dhe prindi tregohet egoist n\u00eb maksimum. Edhe t\u00eb iki m\u00eb vjen keq, se s\u2019dua ta l\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebn vet\u00ebm. Ai sillet shum\u00eb keq dhe ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb e shkat\u00ebrruar psikologjikisht, ndaj shfryn tek un\u00eb. \u00c7far\u00eb k\u00ebshille m\u00eb jepni ju n\u00eb lidhje me q\u00ebndrimin q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb mbaj? Jam v\u00ebrtet keq. P\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, vuaj edhe nga nj\u00eb s\u00ebmundje kronike e tiroides q\u00eb acarohet nga stresi dhe ndihem kret e pashpres\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019i dh\u00ebn\u00eb drejtim jet\u00ebs sime. N\u00eb pritje t\u00eb nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjeje nga ana juaj, ju uroj gjith\u00eb t\u00eb mirat. <\/strong><\/p>\n Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> – <\/strong>E nderuara 27 vje\u00e7are, tani q\u00eb po e shkruaj p\u00ebrgjigjen t\u00ebnde, gjendem n\u00eb Parma t\u00eb Italis\u00eb, pasi po bashk\u00ebpunoj me nj\u00eb specialist hipnoterapeut n\u00eb Milano. Ia tregova letr\u00ebn t\u00ebnde profesorit italian dhe m\u00eb tha: \u201cMjer\u00eb ai njeri i cili nuk paska qen\u00eb n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb jetoj\u00eb si\u00e7 i ka hije burrit (fjal\u00ebn burrit e vler\u00ebsojn\u00eb edhe k\u00ebtu). Ky jetoka si ndonj\u00eb kacavjerr\u00ebs, a i keni par\u00eb kacavjerr\u00ebsit q\u00eb mb\u00ebrthejn\u00eb pem\u00ebt e tjera dhe vet\u00eb harlisen p\u00ebr bukuri mbi ta? K\u00ebtu n\u00eb Itali punojn\u00eb edhe pensionist\u00ebt, deri duke k\u00ebrkuar e gjetur pun\u00eb vullnetare, pasi \u00e7do pensionisti i b\u00ebn mir\u00eb jeta aktive me nga 3-4 or\u00eb pun\u00eb n\u00eb dit\u00eb ose m\u00eb tep\u00ebr dhe sepse \u00e7do njeriu i b\u00ebn shum\u00eb keq jeta sedentare ose parazitare\u201d, edhe pse pensionisti k\u00ebtu e merr pensionin m\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb se \u00e7\u2019marr un\u00eb profesori n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri. Ia p\u00ebrmenda profesorit dy th\u00ebnie popullore shqiptare dhe pasi qeshi, hapi bllokun dhe i mbajti sh\u00ebnim: \u201ckush s\u2019punon dheut i r\u00ebndon\u201d dhe \u201cburri n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi si k\u00ebrcu i zi\u201d. \u201cKa edhe m\u00eb keq, i thash\u00eb: \u201cburri n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi si por… n\u00ebp\u00ebr brek\u00eb\u201d, sidomos kur gruaja b\u00ebn pun\u00ebt e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb\u201d… Italiani qeshi dhe tha: \u201cMama mia, edhe pse jam 67 vje\u00e7, m\u00eb b\u00ebre t\u00eb punoj edhe nja 30 vite t\u00eb tjera!\u201d. Pastaj letr\u00ebn t\u00ebnde e lexoi ime shoqe, nj\u00eb grua aktive e shum\u00eb pun\u00ebtore, energjike dhe e gjall\u00eb, q\u00eb i \u201cfluturojn\u00eb\u201d pun\u00ebt n\u00ebp\u00ebr duar si\u00e7 thuhet p\u00ebr t\u00eb dhe q\u00eb dembel\u00ebt i ka alergji… Ajo tha: \u201cM\u00eb vjen keq p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb gocen, por jo p\u00ebr n\u00ebn\u00ebn e saj, se ajo ia ka toleruar vet\u00eb t\u00eb shoqit k\u00ebto sjellje, e ka l\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb degradoj\u00eb, s\u2019i ka k\u00ebrkuar llogari, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb edhe bleta i nxjerr meshkuj nga kosherja vet\u00ebm sepse nuk punojn\u00eb, por han\u00eb mjaltin edhe n\u00eb ver\u00eb\u201d. Gruaja ime i thot\u00eb mamit t\u00ebnd se vargjet e nj\u00eb k\u00ebnge popullore thon\u00eb: \u201cdilja vet\u00eb e thuaja vet\u00eb si e ke m\u00ebsuar…\u201d. Tani, le t\u00eb t\u00eb them edhe me fjal\u00ebt e mia, e nderuara vajz\u00eb, sepse ndoshta p\u00ebr ato ke m\u00eb shum\u00eb nevoj\u00eb. Je n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtosh t\u00eb ardhmen t\u00ebnde, jet\u00ebn t\u00ebnde dhe t\u00eb mos mbetesh \u201cpeng\u201d i askujt. Sado q\u00eb prind\u00ebrit t\u00eb dhimbsen shum\u00eb, sidomos n\u00ebna, ndaje mendjen e thuaju: \u201cSi i b\u00ebfshi, gjetshi, si shtrofshi, fjetshi!\u201d. Kurseji lek\u00ebt, ndiq ndonj\u00eb profesion apo shkoll\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb, b\u00ebhu sa m\u00eb e suksesshme sepse kjo i b\u00ebn \u201cprinc\u00ebrit e kalt\u00ebr\u201d t\u00eb t\u00eb ulen ty n\u00eb gjunj\u00eb, gjej shpirtin t\u00ebnd binjak dhe l\u00ebri t\u00eb \u201crrokullisen\u201d ata t\u00eb dy me nj\u00ebri-tjetrin, pasi edhe n\u00ebna e ngarkuar nga ai, nuk ka p\u00ebrse t\u00eb zbrazet te ti si\u00e7 thua ti q\u00eb \u201csa her\u00eb ai sillet keq me t\u00eb, ajo shfryn tek un\u00eb\u201d. Ti paske dialoguar me babain, por pa rezultat. At\u00ebher\u00eb, \u00e7far\u00eb pret? Un\u00eb di nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb t\u00eb vetme, si ti, e cila vet\u00ebm se nuk e arriti mir\u00ebkuptimin e duhur, doli n\u00eb nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi me qira, punoi shum\u00eb me dy pun\u00eb, ngriti nj\u00eb biznes t\u00eb vog\u00ebl dhe sot ka nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi t\u00eb saj\u00ebn, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 asaj t\u00eb prind\u00ebrve.<\/p>\n – Pra, kjo vajz\u00eb, p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb babait pijanec e xheloz, n\u00eb pamund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr ta bindur n\u00ebn\u00ebn q\u00eb ta braktiste t\u00eb shoqin, iku nga sht\u00ebpia me nj\u00eb valixhe n\u00eb dor\u00eb e me macen me vete dhe sot jeton si \u201ckontesh\u00eb\u201d, edhe pse p\u00ebr pak vite u lodh shum\u00eb e jetoi vet\u00ebm me macen. T\u00eb pakt\u00ebn gjeti rehat sepse ul\u00ebrimat e babait pijanec egoist e kryene\u00e7, nuk i d\u00ebgjonte dot m\u00eb. Kjo vajz\u00eb m\u00eb ka th\u00ebn\u00eb se inati \u00ebsht\u00eb i \u201c\u00ebmb\u00ebl\u201d, pra, vet\u00ebm me inat mund t\u00eb mbijetonte. Mjer\u00eb ato vajza q\u00eb martohen vet\u00ebm se duan t\u00eb ikin nga sht\u00ebpia, pra, e marrin burrin \u201cderr n\u00eb thes\u201d. Ajo e ka lidhur miq\u00ebsin\u00eb me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb ekonomist i lart\u00eb, q\u00eb punon te firma e saj dhe po mendon p\u00ebr fejes\u00eb, por sidoqoft\u00eb nuk ngutet, edhe pse kandidat\u00ebt p\u00ebr martes\u00eb jan\u00eb shtuar shum\u00eb dhe ajo po mbush 30 vje\u00e7e. Kur ka ardhur tek un\u00eb para ca vitesh, ajo vuante nga ankthi, stresi e pagjum\u00ebsia, i ishin prishur t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ekuilibrat dhe kishte filluar cigaren. Jeta e saj ndryshoi aq shum\u00eb brenda 7 vitesh dhe p\u00ebr mua sot ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb personalitet me vlera. N\u00ebn\u00ebn e taktonte, por nuk e lejonte t\u2019i qahej, babain e fuste n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Ndodhi q\u00eb n\u00ebna me babain ashtu si tenxherja me kapakun \u201crrokullisen\u201d dhe gjejn\u00eb nj\u00ebra-tjetr\u00ebn, u ujdis\u00ebn e ran\u00eb disi n\u00eb qet\u00ebsi sepse si\u00e7 thon\u00eb, \u201cnuk kishim se ku ta \u00e7onin nj\u00ebri-tjetrin\u201d. At\u00ebher\u00eb kjo vajz\u00eb i solli ata p\u00ebr trajtim psikologjik dhe me terapi t\u00eb \u00ebmb\u00ebl e seanca psikoterapike, jeta e tyre nga keqp\u00ebrshtatje, kaloi n\u00eb nj\u00eb mir\u00ebp\u00ebshtatje q\u00eb e meritoi not\u00ebn 8. Pra, jo pak, edhe pse kjo vajz\u00eb thot\u00eb se vet\u00ebm kur ata t\u00eb meritojn\u00eb not\u00ebn 10, do t\u00eb ken\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn q\u00eb t\u00eb jetojn\u00eb te sht\u00ebpia e saj, pra, ta meritojn\u00eb mbajtjen, p\u00ebrndryshe u thot\u00eb ajo \u201cdrejtojuni azilit, pasi askush, kushdoqoft\u00eb ai, s\u2019ka t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u00eb prish\u00eb jet\u00ebn e tjetrit dhe e dyta, p\u00ebr t\u00eb t\u00eb l\u00ebn\u00eb rehat, \u00ebsht\u00eb e drejta m\u00eb universale bot\u00ebrore\u201d. Kur un\u00eb e pyeta k\u00ebt\u00eb vajz\u00eb me pak provokim se \u201cmos ti po sillesh me intoleranc\u00eb ndaj prind\u00ebrve, pra, duhet t\u00eb jesh pak m\u00eb pranuese e fleksib\u00ebl, pasi ata vet\u00ebm ty t\u00eb kan\u00eb drit\u00ebn e syrit\u201d, ajo m\u00eb dha nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje interesante: \u201cdhembshuria \u00ebsht\u00eb k\u00ebshilltar i keq, kurse nd\u00ebshkimi \u00ebsht\u00eb edukim! Po t\u00eb m\u00eb donin aq shum\u00eb, ata nuk do t\u00eb m\u00eb mbingarkonin e t\u00eb m\u00eb mbilodhnin duke m\u00eb v\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb rolin e \u201cgjykat\u00ebses\u201d midis tyre e duke m\u00eb p\u00ebrdorur si grop\u00eb zbrazjeje. Un\u00eb i pata paralajm\u00ebruar dhe b\u00ebra zgjedhjen q\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, edhe tezet e dajat ma quajt\u00ebn t\u00eb gabuar, por ata sot e shohin se un\u00eb dola m\u00eb e fort\u00eb dhe ata, m\u00eb t\u00eb fituar. Pra, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb dol\u00ebm m\u00eb t\u00eb fituar sepse si\u00e7 thuhet, ajo q\u00eb s\u2019t\u00eb vret, t\u00eb b\u00ebn edhe m\u00eb t\u00eb fort\u00eb\u201d…<\/p>\n T\u00eb them t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn, m\u00eb ka \u00e7uditur kjo vajz\u00eb e sa her\u00eb q\u00eb pi kafe me k\u00ebt\u00eb yll, ndiej admirim e respekt p\u00ebr t\u00eb dhe them me vete: \u201cSi lum ai q\u00eb do t\u00eb martohet me t\u00eb!\u201d. Nj\u00eb djali q\u00eb e k\u00ebrkonte p\u00ebr fejes\u00eb (shum\u00eb i bukur ai), ajo i vuri viz\u00ebn vet\u00ebm sepse ai e vler\u00ebsonte shum\u00eb virgj\u00ebrin\u00eb fiziologjike t\u00eb femr\u00ebs, pra, e quante \u201cvler\u00eb\u201d himenin (cipen e virgj\u00ebris\u00eb) dhe nj\u00eb tjetri po ashtu, vet\u00ebm sepse interesimi i tij u b\u00eb i m\u00eb i madh e gati servilos\u00ebs kur mori vesh se ajo kishte nj\u00eb apartament t\u00eb sajin, pra, nuk kishte p\u00ebr t\u00eb g\u00ebzim m\u00eb t\u00eb madh sesa kur e shihte k\u00ebt\u00eb si \u201cnuse me paj\u00eb\u201d. Dhe e pa \u201cme dylbi\u201d! Ndoshta u zgjata pak duke t\u00eb treguar p\u00ebr t\u00eb tjerat, por fola p\u00ebr nj\u00eb shembull t\u00eb bukur q\u00eb e njoh vet\u00eb, i cili do t\u00eb duhet edhe p\u00ebr shum\u00eb vajza t\u00eb tjera ose p\u00ebr ata f\u00ebmij\u00eb, prind\u00ebrit e t\u00eb cil\u00ebve keqp\u00ebrdorin t\u00eb drejtat prind\u00ebrore dhe u b\u00ebhen barr\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve m\u00eb shum\u00eb nga qejfi sesa nga halli. Un\u00eb njoh djalin e nj\u00eb ish-kolegut tim i cili ishte deputet, por q\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebn e \u00e7oi n\u00eb azil sepse nuk i gjendej karari, ishte e pabindur dhe shum\u00eb grindavece, sidomos pasi i vdiq i shoqi. Edhe azili mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb zgjidhje e mir\u00eb p\u00ebr babain t\u00ebnd. N\u00eb nj\u00eb takim ose bised\u00eb telefonike, dua t\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj nja 10 pyetje q\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb jap nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje m\u00eb t\u00eb plot\u00eb…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" – I nderuar Doktor Demiri, jam nj\u00eb 27 vje\u00e7are, vajz\u00eb e vetme dhe jetoj me t\u00eb dy prind\u00ebrit. Problemi im \u00ebsht\u00eb se p\u00ebr fat t\u00eb keq, kam nj\u00eb baba shum\u00eb egoist q\u00eb nuk ka menduar kurr\u00eb p\u00ebr n\u00ebn\u00ebn time. Ai jetoi 20 vjet n\u00eb emigrim dhe vinte sikur ishte djali i sht\u00ebpis\u00eb e jo […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12783","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12783","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12783"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12783\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12783"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12783"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12783"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}