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– I nderuar Jashar Demiri! Ju drejtohem me let\u00ebr juve, pasi e kam shum\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb flas me njeri drejtp\u00ebrdrejt p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb q\u00eb dua t\u2019ju them. M\u00eb vjen shum\u00eb turp ta diskutoj edhe me mikun tim m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb, pasi kam frik\u00eb se trembet… Un\u00eb jam 26 vje\u00e7 dhe m\u00eb ka z\u00ebn\u00eb tmerri, pasi her\u00eb pas here, kam ndjesin\u00eb sikur m\u00eb t\u00ebrheqin meshkujt. Sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb e \u00e7oj n\u00ebp\u00ebr mend nj\u00eb gj\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb, aq m\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb m\u00eb duket. Un\u00eb kam patur lidhje me femra dhe ia kam kaluar mir\u00eb me to, ndaj s\u2019e marr vesh \u00e7far\u00eb po m\u00eb ndodh. Mos jam homoseksual?<\/strong><\/p>\n Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> – <\/strong>Me sa lexoj nga letra juaj, ju vuani nga homofobia, pra, nga frika e t\u00eb qenit homoseksual. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb lloj frike shum\u00eb pik\u00eblluese, ther\u00ebse, pasi lind te njer\u00ebzit me ndjenjat e sublimes dhe me d\u00ebshir\u00ebn p\u00ebr perfeksion, q\u00eb, jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb nuk jan\u00eb homo, por e urrejn\u00eb nj\u00eb gj\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb, kan\u00eb neveri, pra, n\u00eb thelb jan\u00eb si racist\u00ebt. \u00cbsht\u00eb pik\u00ebrisht ky mospranim i fenomenit, kjo neveri apo urrejtje ekstreme ndaj k\u00ebtij fenomeni, ajo q\u00eb i b\u00ebn disa t\u00eb tremben e t\u00eb krijojn\u00eb gjendje ankthi n\u00ebse shohin apo d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb p\u00ebr homot dhe t\u00eb jetojn\u00eb me nj\u00eb \u201cshyqyr\u201d t\u00eb madh, q\u00eb ata vet\u00eb nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb. Mir\u00ebpo, ky \u201cshyqyrll\u00ebk\u201d mund t\u00eb mos zgjas\u00eb shum\u00eb sepse mjafton nj\u00eb \u201cngacmim\u201d apo ndonj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb e rreme si imitim i frik\u00ebs dhe te k\u00ebta njer\u00ebz mund t\u00eb filloj\u00eb alarmi, frika se mos jan\u00eb vet\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb. Alarmi mund t\u00eb filloj\u00eb nga nj\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrr me homoseksualitet, gj\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb krejt normale, pasi \u00e7do njeri ka sadopak dyseksualitet brenda vetes. K\u00ebt\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrr, personi e pranon si nj\u00eb \u201cfakt\u201d t\u00eb turpsh\u00ebm, t\u00eb neveritsh\u00ebm dhe nuk ia \u201cfal\u201d vetes q\u00eb ka ndjer\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi. Pastaj, dal\u00ebngadal\u00eb, veprojn\u00eb ndjenja t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb rreme, psikosomatizmat, si p\u00ebr shembull, mashkullit i duket sikur i p\u00eblqejn\u00eb meshkujt, kurse femr\u00ebs, sikur i p\u00eblqejn\u00eb femrat. Edhe m\u00eb tej, meshkujt mund t\u00eb mos ken\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb p\u00ebr seks, kurse femrat i tmerron mendimi se nuk po ndjejn\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebr meshkujt si m\u00eb par\u00eb. Zinxhiri i mendimeve e ndjesive negative, vijon k\u00ebshtu: Nga mendimet e frikshme katastrofizuese, kalohet te \u201cndjesit\u00eb\u201d (jo normale, imituese); nga ndjesit\u00eb e frikshme, lindin emocionet si: turp i madh, siklet, ankth, vuajtje, ndjenja faji, p\u00ebshtirosje t\u00eb vetvetes, depresion etj.<\/p>\n Problemi nuk mbaron k\u00ebtu: Pasojn\u00eb kep\u00ebrshtatjet. \u00c7far\u00eb p\u00ebr shembull? Djemt\u00eb kan\u00eb frik\u00eb t\u00eb shohim djem t\u00eb tjer\u00eb dhe duan t\u00eb paraqiten sa m\u00eb \u201cburr\u00ebror\u00eb\u201d n\u00eb komunikime, n\u00eb ecje e veprime ose nxitojn\u00eb p\u00ebr seks me femrat, p\u00ebr t\u00eb bindur m\u00eb shum\u00eb veten se ndiejn\u00eb pik\u00ebrisht p\u00ebr femrat e jo p\u00ebr meshkujt, kurse femrat b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt\u00ebn. Nuk e din\u00eb fatzinjt\u00eb se pik\u00ebrisht k\u00ebto lloj keqp\u00ebrshtatjesh q\u00eb quhen kompulsione, e shtojn\u00eb edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb frik\u00ebn e ankthin, breng\u00ebn e vuajtjet sepse \u201cd\u00ebshtimin\u201d m\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl n\u00eb seks ua paraqet mendja reaktive (\u201cdjalli\u201d apo \u201cshejtani\u201d), si nj\u00eb prov\u00eb t\u00eb re, duke i trembur edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb q\u00eb jan\u00eb homo dhe pik\u00eb! K\u00ebshtu, ju supozoni e trembeni shum\u00eb derisa lind homofobia. Ky \u00ebsht\u00eb rreziku i v\u00ebrtet\u00eb i k\u00ebtij fenomeni, ankthi i pakontrolluar, vuajtja pik\u00eblluese. Shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz kan\u00eb ardhur tek un\u00eb me nj\u00eb frym\u00eb, pasi \u201ct\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebn\u201d e turpshme e t\u00eb frikshme, nuk ia tregojn\u00eb as mjekut. Dikush m\u00eb tha me lot n\u00eb sy: \u201cM\u00eb mir\u00eb ta pranoj q\u00eb jam e t\u00eb shp\u00ebtoj, o doktor!\u201d. \u201c\u00c7far\u00eb t\u00eb pranosh, di\u00e7ka q\u00eb s\u2019e ke e s\u2019e b\u00ebn dot kurr\u00eb sikur edhe bot\u00ebn t\u00eb ta falin? \u00c7far\u00eb t\u00eb pranosh, mashtrimin?\u201d, i thash\u00eb. Besimtar\u00ebt e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb e kan\u00eb zgjidhur k\u00ebt\u00eb problem shum\u00eb thjesht; ata thon\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201cshejtani\u201d apo \u201cdjalli\u201d q\u00eb ua p\u00ebrshp\u00ebrit k\u00ebt\u00eb ide, por ata thjesht nuk ia \u201cvarin\u201d sa duhet q\u00eb t\u00eb mos e besojn\u00eb e as t\u00eb tremben dhe, dal\u00ebngadal\u00eb, ajo kalon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" – I nderuar Jashar Demiri! Ju drejtohem me let\u00ebr juve, pasi e kam shum\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb flas me njeri drejtp\u00ebrdrejt p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb q\u00eb dua t\u2019ju them. M\u00eb vjen shum\u00eb turp ta diskutoj edhe me mikun tim m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb, pasi kam frik\u00eb se trembet… Un\u00eb jam 26 vje\u00e7 dhe m\u00eb ka z\u00ebn\u00eb tmerri, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12670","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12670","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12670"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12670\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}