{"id":12594,"date":"2016-03-31T14:30:31","date_gmt":"2016-03-31T12:30:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=12594"},"modified":"2016-03-31T11:36:41","modified_gmt":"2016-03-31T09:36:41","slug":"di-si-te-mbrohesh-nga-narcizistet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2016\/03\/di-si-te-mbrohesh-nga-narcizistet\/","title":{"rendered":"Di si t\u00eb mbrohesh nga narcizist\u00ebt?"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

\u00cbsht\u00eb e bezdisshme t\u00eb kesh t\u00eb b\u00ebsh me nj\u00eb narcizist, qoft\u00eb n\u00eb dashuri, miq\u00ebsi, apo n\u00eb pun\u00eb. Ai mendon vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr vete, i p\u00eblqen vet\u00ebm vetja e vet, nd\u00ebrsa nuk mendon aspak p\u00ebr t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt ka tendenc\u00eb t\u2019i manipuloj\u00eb. Ja disa k\u00ebshilla t\u00eb psikolog\u00ebve p\u00ebr t\u2019u mbrojtur prej tyre:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Mos shpreso ta ndryshosh<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \u00cbsht\u00eb rregulli num\u00ebr nj\u00eb kur ke t\u00eb b\u00ebsh me nj\u00eb narcizist. Ata jan\u00eb t\u00eb bindur se kan\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb, nuk din\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb autokritik\u00eb dhe nuk arrijn\u00eb ta mendojn\u00eb veten n\u00eb vend t\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. Kan\u00eb tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb manipulojn\u00eb duke nxitur te ti ndjesin\u00eb e fajit, zem\u00ebrim, frik\u00eb dhe pasiguri. U p\u00eblqen t\u00eb krijojn\u00eb nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie var\u00ebsie psikologjike. Ndryshimi tek ata nuk ndodh kurr\u00eb, prandaj \u00ebsht\u00eb e kot\u00eb t\u00eb diskutosh me ta dhe t\u00eb harxhosh koh\u00eb e energji. P\u00ebr t\u00eb bashk\u00ebjetuar me nj\u00eb narcizist, duhet t\u00eb ndryshosh veten dhe sjelljen t\u00ebnde kundrejt tij.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Zgjidh lirin\u00eb<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Narcizist\u00ebt q\u00eb e kontrollojn\u00eb mir\u00eb veten, p\u00ebrdorin disa teknika p\u00ebr t\u00eb t\u00eb mbajtur n\u00ebn pushtetin e tyre. Ata p\u00ebrdorin sensin e detyr\u00ebs, ose t\u00eb mir\u00ebnjohjes, q\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb ndihesh n\u00eb faj. E gjitha kjo vet\u00ebm me q\u00ebllimin q\u00eb t\u00eb jesh n\u00eb nj\u00eb mendje me ta. M\u00ebso m\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb reagosh n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb pavarur prej tyre, duke e pranuar mosaprovimin dhe zem\u00ebrimin e tyre. N\u00ebse je pre e nj\u00eb personi tjet\u00ebr, do t\u00eb tradhtosh veten. Zgjidh at\u00ebher\u00eb lirin\u00eb, q\u00eb, p\u00ebrve\u00e7se nj\u00eb e drejt\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi. Duke e sakrifikuar at\u00eb, do t\u00eb humbas\u00ebsh identitetin t\u00ebnd. Askush nuk mund t\u00eb jetoj\u00eb nj\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqshme duke ndjekur dogmat e nj\u00eb personi tjet\u00ebr.<\/p>\n

       <\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Mos ki pritshm\u00ebri shum\u00eb t\u00eb larta<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Narcizist\u00ebt pasivo-agresiv\u00eb dredhojn\u00eb dhe u b\u00ebjn\u00eb bisht detyrimeve, i l\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebr m\u00eb von\u00eb dhe nuk i mbajn\u00eb premtimet. Ata tregohen miq\u00ebsor\u00eb, por nuk sillen si miq, nuk i diskutojn\u00eb problemet hapur. Ata duan t\u2019u shkoj\u00eb e tyrja duke u sjell\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb pasive, pra, duke mos bashk\u00ebpunuar kurr\u00eb me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Ata jan\u00eb zhg\u00ebnjyes. Si t\u00eb reagosh n\u00eb k\u00ebto raste? Duhet t\u00eb kesh pritshm\u00ebri t\u00eb ul\u00ebta. Sa m\u00eb pak besim t\u00eb kesh tek ata, aq m\u00eb pak do t\u00eb zhg\u00ebnjehesh. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb nuk do t\u2019u lejosh atyre sjellje t\u00eb pap\u00ebrgjegjshme, por do t\u2019i p\u00ebrball\u00ebsh me realitetin. Duhet t\u00eb m\u00ebsosh t\u2019i pranosh ashtu si\u00e7 jan\u00eb. Kujto rregullin e par\u00eb: Nuk do t\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb kurr\u00eb!<\/p>\n

         <\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Mos ua v\u00ebr veshin justifikimeve t\u00eb tyre<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Ata nuk kan\u00eb kurr\u00eb faj. N\u00ebse do t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqesh t\u2019i kritikosh, dije q\u00eb do t\u00eb marr\u00ebsh vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb efekt bumerang. V\u00ebrejtjet q\u00eb do t\u2019u b\u00ebsh atyre, do t\u00eb bien mbi ty. Narcizist\u00ebt kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb ndihen t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb, pra, ata nuk do ta pranojn\u00eb se kan\u00eb gabuar. Nuk do t\u2019ia arrish kurr\u00eb t\u2019u tregosh se kan\u00eb gabuar. K\u00ebshtu pra, mos i d\u00ebgjo \u201carsyet\u201d e tyre, por vazhdo n\u00eb rrug\u00ebn t\u00ebnde. M\u00ebso t\u00eb jetosh pa aprovimet e tyre.<\/p>\n

           <\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Mos i mbro<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Mund t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb shpesh q\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb t\u00eb mos flas\u00ebsh me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt p\u00ebr problemet tuaja, sepse atyre u p\u00eblqen t\u00eb ken\u00eb nj\u00eb imazh t\u00eb panjoll\u00eb. Duke heshtur ti, ata mendojn\u00eb se mund t\u00eb vazhdojn\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb trajtojn\u00eb me prepotenc\u00eb. Kjo ndodh ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet n\u00eb \u00e7ift. Nuk u takon atyre t\u00eb vendosin se \u00e7far\u00eb gj\u00ebrash t\u00eb jet\u00ebs t\u00ebnde do t\u00eb ndash ti me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. N\u00ebse do t\u00eb vazhdosh t\u2019i mbrosh narcizist\u00ebt duke ndjekur rregullat e tyre n\u00eb vend t\u00eb t\u00eb tuave, nuk do t\u00eb b\u00ebsh gj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr ve\u00e7se do t\u00eb zgjas\u00ebsh fatkeq\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00ebnde.<\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

              \n
            1. Ji e vendosur n\u00eb vendimet q\u00eb merr<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              Narcizist\u00ebt shpesh do t\u00eb mundohen t\u00eb t\u00eb manipulojn\u00eb duke p\u00ebrdorur sensin t\u00ebnd t\u00eb fajit, duke shfryt\u00ebzuar n\u00eb p\u00ebrfitim t\u00eb tyre aft\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00ebnde p\u00ebr p\u00ebrd\u00ebllim dhe keqardhje, ndjenja q\u00eb ata nuk i njohin. P\u00ebr t\u00eb mbrojtur veten, duhet t\u00eb ekuilibrosh k\u00ebt\u00eb tendenc\u00eb duke qen\u00eb e vendosur. Ankimet e narcizist\u00ebve nuk duhet t\u00eb fitojn\u00eb mbi vendimet e tua. V\u00ebr n\u00eb pun\u00eb logjik\u00ebn dhe instinktin legjitim t\u00eb vet\u00ebmbrojtjes.<\/p>\n

               <\/p>\n

                \n
              1. Kanalizoje zem\u00ebrimin<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                Narcizist\u00ebt ngjallin pashmangshm\u00ebrisht zem\u00ebrim te t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. \u00cbsht\u00eb e gabuar ta l\u00ebsh zem\u00ebrimin t\u00eb t\u00eb verboj\u00eb, por as ta ndrydh\u00ebsh, sepse k\u00ebshtu do t\u00eb l\u00ebndosh veten dhe do t\u00eb vuash nga depresioni, ankthi, pendimi, cinizmi dhe mungesa e besimit n\u00eb vetvete… Nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb pozitive \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb zem\u00ebrimin ta shpreh\u00ebsh pa b\u00ebrtitje, apo pa b\u00ebr\u00eb spektak\u00ebl, por duke folur me vendosm\u00ebri dhe me besim n\u00eb vetvete. Zem\u00ebrimi, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, do t\u00eb p\u00ebrdoret n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb konstruktive p\u00ebr t\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb ndjehesh mir\u00eb, pa pritur asgj\u00eb n\u00eb shk\u00ebmbim nga narcizist\u00ebt.<\/p>\n

                 <\/p>\n

                  \n
                1. Ji e thjesht\u00eb, mos u b\u00ebj si ata<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  Egoizmi prodhon egoiz\u00ebm. N\u00ebse ke t\u00eb b\u00ebsh me narcizist\u00eb, kujdes mos t\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb derisa t\u00eb b\u00ebhesh si ata. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb zot\u00ebrojm\u00eb nj\u00eb tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb lindur egoizmi dhe rreziku \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb fillosh t\u00eb trajtosh narcizistin n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb pasjellshme. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb pik\u00eb, instinkti i vet\u00ebmbrojtjes kthehet n\u00eb egocentriz\u00ebm. P\u00ebr ta evituar, nevojitet t\u00eb jeni t\u00eb thjesht\u00eb. Kush ka natyr\u00eb t\u00eb thjesht\u00eb dhe t\u00eb p\u00ebrulur n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb natyrshme \u00ebsht\u00eb psikologjikisht i sigurt ne vetvete dhe nuk ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr aprovimin e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. Ky person nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb prepotent kundrejt t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, por as nuk ua lejon t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve t\u00eb jen\u00eb prepotent\u00eb me t\u00eb.<\/p>\n

                   <\/p>\n

                    \n
                  1. Fali<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                    Aspektet pozitive t\u00eb faljes jan\u00eb t\u00eb shum\u00ebfishta. Kjo t\u00eb lejon t\u00eb jesh e lir\u00eb, t\u00eb p\u00ebrqendrohesh n\u00eb gj\u00ebra m\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme sesa zem\u00ebrimi, t\u00eb inkurajon t\u00eb mos fiksohesh pas dikujt q\u00eb t\u00eb ka l\u00ebnduar dhe t\u00eb lejon t\u00eb shoh\u00ebsh drejt s\u00eb ardhmes. Nuk mund t\u00eb kontrollosh sjelljen dhe zgjedhjet e nj\u00eb personi tjet\u00ebr, por me koh\u00eb mund t\u00eb m\u00ebsosh t\u2019i pranosh dhe t\u2019i tolerosh narcizist\u00ebt ashtu si\u00e7 jan\u00eb.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                      \u00cbsht\u00eb e bezdisshme t\u00eb kesh t\u00eb b\u00ebsh me nj\u00eb narcizist, qoft\u00eb n\u00eb dashuri, miq\u00ebsi, apo n\u00eb pun\u00eb. Ai mendon vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr vete, i p\u00eblqen vet\u00ebm vetja e vet, nd\u00ebrsa nuk mendon aspak p\u00ebr t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt ka tendenc\u00eb t\u2019i manipuloj\u00eb. Ja disa k\u00ebshilla t\u00eb psikolog\u00ebve p\u00ebr t\u2019u mbrojtur prej tyre:   Mos shpreso […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12594","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-intimitet"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12594","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12594"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12594\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12594"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12594"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12594"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}