{"id":12590,"date":"2016-03-31T11:30:42","date_gmt":"2016-03-31T09:30:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=12590"},"modified":"2016-03-30T11:48:41","modified_gmt":"2016-03-30T09:48:41","slug":"i-fejuari-im-eshte-genjeshtar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2016\/03\/i-fejuari-im-eshte-genjeshtar\/","title":{"rendered":"I fejuari im \u00ebsht\u00eb g\u00ebnjeshtar"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>&#8211; I nderuar psikolog, jam e fejuar me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb prej dy vitesh. Jam shum\u00eb e k\u00ebnaqur me marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnien q\u00eb kam me t\u00eb, sepse m\u00eb respekton dhe m\u00eb do shum\u00eb, bazuar n\u00eb prova t\u00eb vazhdueshme. Mir\u00ebkuptohemi p\u00ebr shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra dhe ia kalojm\u00eb mir\u00eb si \u00e7ift. I vetmi problem q\u00ebndron n\u00eb faktin se i fejuari ka ves g\u00ebnjeshtr\u00ebn dhe mua m\u00eb g\u00ebnjen p\u00ebr gj\u00ebra shum\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme jet\u00ebsore, lidhur me pun\u00ebn, llogarin\u00eb, me lek\u00ebt se si i shpenzon etj. Ia kam v\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb pah k\u00ebt\u00eb gabim dhe ai e ka anashkaluar si pa r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi, madje e p\u00ebrs\u00ebrit. Un\u00eb e kam shp\u00ebrfillur k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb kaluar\u00ebn, me shpres\u00ebn se do t\u00eb ndryshoj\u00eb, por m\u00eb kot. \u00c7far\u00eb q\u00ebndrimi m\u00eb sugjeroni t\u00eb mbaj karshi tij? Do t\u2019ju isha shum\u00eb mir\u00ebnjoh\u00ebse p\u00ebr nj\u00eb k\u00ebshill\u00eb si vajz\u00ebs suaj, sepse nuk dua ta prish k\u00ebt\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie, edhe pse ky nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb shkak i vog\u00ebl&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em><u>Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong><strong> &#8211; <\/strong>V\u00ebrtet, e nderuara vajz\u00eb, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb shkak i vog\u00ebl q\u00eb i fejuari juaj prej dy vitesh vazhdon t\u2019ju g\u00ebnjej\u00eb p\u00ebr gj\u00ebra shum\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme jet\u00ebsore dhe ju rrini duke pritur q\u00eb ai ta \u201ckuptoj\u00eb\u201d vet\u00eb e t\u00eb ndryshoj\u00eb. Nuk shkon ky muhabet, pasi \u201cku hyn g\u00ebnjeshtra dhe dredhia, prishet miq\u00ebsia\u201d, thot\u00eb populli. Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb k\u00ebtu fjala p\u00ebr rrena t\u00eb \u201cbardha\u201d si\u00e7 thon\u00eb anglez\u00ebt, nga t\u00eb cilat nuk ka d\u00ebm, por ndoshta edhe dobi. Ju thoni q\u00eb ai e ka ves g\u00ebnjeshtr\u00ebn dhe ju g\u00ebnjen p\u00ebr \u00e7\u00ebshtje madhore t\u00eb jet\u00ebs, madje edhe pse ia thoni, ai e anashkalon dhe si pa r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi, e p\u00ebrs\u00ebrit. K\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb un\u00eb e shoh me \u201crrezik\u201d pasi humbja e besimit \u00ebsht\u00eb si \u201chumbja e shpirtit\u201d e do t\u00eb vij\u00eb koha q\u00eb ju do ta shihni tek ai \u00e7do gj\u00eb me dyshim e me frik\u00eb, pra, nuk do t\u00eb jeni m\u00eb e qet\u00eb dhe meraku se ai po ju g\u00ebnjen do t\u2019ju kthehet n\u00eb obsesion duke mos i besuar m\u00eb p\u00ebr asgj\u00eb. Ne psikolog\u00ebt kemi nj\u00eb arsye q\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebto raste i k\u00ebrkojm\u00eb me urgjenc\u00eb sidomos \u00e7iftet e reja p\u00ebr t\u00eb biseduar shtruar, pasi i nj\u00ebjti \u201cngacmues\u201d edhe sikur pa ndonj\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi t\u00eb madhe t\u00eb jet\u00eb, duke u p\u00ebrs\u00ebritur, me kalimin e koh\u00ebs, merr r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi e pesh\u00eb dhe e g\u00ebrryen marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnien, e k\u00ebrc\u00ebnon, e prish at\u00eb. Ti je e detyruar t\u00eb tregosh tek ai besim, edhe kur nuk e ke, por duke vepruar k\u00ebshtu, problemi yt mund t\u00eb t\u00eb dal\u00eb si me \u201cfirmat piramidale\u201d q\u00eb njer\u00ebzit nga frika e humbjes vazhdonin t\u00eb besonin dhe t\u00eb fusnin ende lek\u00eb.<\/p>\n<p>Duhet par\u00eb mir\u00eb origjina e k\u00ebtij njeriu, formimi i tij dhe edukata, pasi populli thot\u00eb se ai q\u00eb g\u00ebnjen, t\u00eb gjitha i b\u00ebn. Ja, t\u00eb t\u00eb pyes un\u00eb ty: a ka bixhozxhi q\u00eb nuk g\u00ebnjen? A ka alkoolist, donzhuan, drogaxhi e manipulator q\u00eb nuk g\u00ebnjen? Ata madje nuk din\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb ndryshe! Prandaj do t\u00eb doja t\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebja disa pyetje p\u00ebr marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet e k\u00ebtij njeriu me pun\u00ebn, me njer\u00ebzit e vet, me miqt\u00eb, pasi p\u00ebr ta njohur mir\u00eb nj\u00eb njeri, mos e shih at\u00eb vet\u00ebm n\u00eb q\u00ebndrimin apo sjelljen ndaj teje, por edhe ndaj njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb tjer\u00eb, duke u b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb v\u00ebzhguese e kujdesshme, madje nj\u00eb \u201cdedektive\u201d n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb drejtim, pasi ai do t\u00eb jet\u00eb \u201ctimonieri\u201d i sht\u00ebpis\u00eb dhe babai i f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tu. Edhe n\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ai ty t\u00eb g\u00ebnjen p\u00ebr t\u00eb t\u00eb qet\u00ebsuar, sepse ti mund t\u00eb jesh ankthioze dhe e mbindjeshme, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb metod\u00eb e gabuar, pasi verifikimi i g\u00ebnjeshtrave ty t\u00eb nervozon e m\u00ebrzit m\u00eb shum\u00eb sesa vet\u00eb problemi&#8230; Un\u00eb vet\u00eb, jam nj\u00eb tip q\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb ma tregosh drejt nj\u00eb problem e t\u00eb ma thuash q\u00eb ta duroj sesa t\u00eb m\u00eb mbash me \u201crrena\u201d e shpresa t\u00eb kota&#8230; Kam frik\u00eb se kjo lloj m\u00ebnyre veprimi ose mendimi se \u201cgruas i duhen fshehur hallet\u201d ka nj\u00eb origjin\u00eb tek ai, pra, q\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb ai e ka si t\u00eb \u201cprojektuar\u201d k\u00ebt\u00eb lloj sjelljeje pasi e ka par\u00eb si nj\u00eb model te prind\u00ebrit e vet.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Mundet q\u00eb kjo lloj \u201cpeshoreje\u201d e gabuar ta ndjek\u00eb at\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn dhe ti nuk do t\u00eb mundesh ta durosh k\u00ebshtu. Kam njohur nj\u00eb \u201calamet\u201d djali i cili m\u00eb 14 shkurt, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 t\u00eb fejuar\u00ebs, vajti n\u00eb takim edhe me tre vajza t\u00eb tjera, \u00e7donj\u00ebra prej t\u00eb cilave besonte se ishte e vetmja p\u00ebr t\u00eb. K\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb ai e b\u00ebnte me nj\u00eb lloj shtirjeje e mjesht\u00ebrie mashtrimi spektakolare, p\u00ebr ta pasur zili edhe aktor\u00ebt e Hollivudit. Kur un\u00eb i thash\u00eb se kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb lloj lodhjeje e shkap\u00ebrderdhjeje e jet\u00ebs, se donzhuan\u00ebt nuk e provojn\u00eb at\u00eb lloj k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsie q\u00eb t\u00eb jep dashuria e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, ai m\u00eb tha: \u201cKe t\u00eb drejt\u00eb, por un\u00eb jam m\u00ebsuar k\u00ebshtu, m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb ves, kam krijuar var\u00ebsi nga kjo lloj sjelljeje e m\u00eb duket si nj\u00eb lloj sporti, si nj\u00eb hobi, ashtu si ai bixhozxhiu i cili e kupton shum\u00eb mir\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb i humbur sapo t\u00eb filloj\u00eb t\u00eb luaj\u00eb, por nuk rri dot pa luajtur\u201d. Pastaj m\u00eb k\u00ebrkoi mua ila\u00e7e bimore p\u00ebr t\u00eb shtuar potenc\u00ebn e un\u00eb i thash\u00eb se sado q\u00eb ato jan\u00eb 100 % bimore, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb q\u00eb ta sforcosh organizmin e ta detyrosh q\u00eb t\u00eb punoj\u00eb mbi kapacitetet e tij, pasi ai edhe kur ishte i lodhur apo i mbingopur n\u00eb seks, p\u00ebrpiqej ta \u201c\u00e7udiste\u201d bij\u00ebn e bot\u00ebs me potenc\u00ebn burr\u00ebrore e dashurin\u00eb, si te romanet apo librat roz\u00eb. Puna dhe arsimimi p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb djal\u00eb kishin mbetur n\u00eb plan t\u00eb fundit dhe n\u00eb vend q\u00eb ai t\u2019i ndihmonte prind\u00ebrit, u merrte lek\u00eb atyre. Un\u00eb i shpjegova se \u201cturbina\u201d e seksit t\u2019i ha t\u00eb gjitha energjit\u00eb, ndaj \u00e7do teprim \u00ebsht\u00eb i d\u00ebmsh\u00ebm. \u201cEdhe e mira e tep\u00ebrt \u00ebsht\u00eb e keqja e s\u00eb mir\u00ebs\u201d, thon\u00eb francez\u00ebt.<\/p>\n<p>Besoj se e kuptove e nderuar vajz\u00eb q\u00eb ti m\u00eb k\u00ebrkove t\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebshilloja si vajz\u00ebn time. Do t\u00eb doja q\u00eb ti t\u2019i punoje atij edhe nj\u00eb stil, ta g\u00ebnjeje e ta alarmoje e pastaj n\u00eb nj\u00eb let\u00ebr t\u00eb parashkruar t\u2019i tregoje t\u00eb gjitha arsyet pse e b\u00ebre k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb, pasi k\u00ebta njer\u00ebz nuk e v\u00ebn\u00eb asnj\u00ebher\u00eb veten n\u00eb rolin e tjetrit. Kur ai t\u00eb ndihet keq e i acaruar pse ti e g\u00ebnjeve, ia thuaj se kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb pak, krahasuar me ato q\u00eb b\u00ebn ai ndaj teje. Mos rri n\u00eb pritje se gj\u00ebrat do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb ashtu vet\u00eb. Asgj\u00eb nuk ndodh kot ose rast\u00ebsisht dhe si kudo, edhe k\u00ebtu \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201chyzmeti-k\u00ebsmeti\u201d. Edhe populli thot\u00eb se gruaja e mir\u00eb edhe burrin e b\u00ebn t\u00eb mir\u00eb dhe burri i mir\u00eb, edhe gruan e b\u00ebn t\u00eb mir\u00eb. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ai nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb as bashk\u00ebpunues e as i ndryshuesh\u00ebm, sa m\u00eb shpejt, m\u00eb mir\u00eb ndahu nga ai. Fejesa \u00ebsht\u00eb si nj\u00eb paraprov\u00eb, si nj\u00eb test, por n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb test, g\u00ebnjeshtra e b\u00ebn at\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb humbas\u00eb shum\u00eb pik\u00eb! Edhe pse mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb mjesht\u00ebr p\u00ebr t\u2019i fshehur e maskuar gj\u00ebrat, nuk thon\u00eb kot se g\u00ebnjeshtra i ka k\u00ebmb\u00ebt e shkurtra dhe deri n\u00eb 40 dit\u00eb mbetet sekret, m\u00eb shum\u00eb jo. Gjithsesi, do t\u00eb doja q\u00eb ti t\u00eb m\u00eb vije p\u00ebr nj\u00eb konsult\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb gjer\u00eb nj\u00eb her\u00eb vet\u00eb e pastaj edhe me at\u00eb. Martesa \u00ebsht\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje jete, \u00ebsht\u00eb jeta vet\u00eb, po ose jo!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; I nderuar psikolog, jam e fejuar me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb prej dy vitesh. Jam shum\u00eb e k\u00ebnaqur me marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnien q\u00eb kam me t\u00eb, sepse m\u00eb respekton dhe m\u00eb do shum\u00eb, bazuar n\u00eb prova t\u00eb vazhdueshme. Mir\u00ebkuptohemi p\u00ebr shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra dhe ia kalojm\u00eb mir\u00eb si \u00e7ift. I vetmi problem q\u00ebndron n\u00eb faktin se i fejuari ka [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12590","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12590","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12590"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12590\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12590"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12590"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12590"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}