{"id":12527,"date":"2016-03-25T10:30:58","date_gmt":"2016-03-25T09:30:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=12527"},"modified":"2016-03-24T13:20:55","modified_gmt":"2016-03-24T12:20:55","slug":"kam-nje-vajze-te-pabindur","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2016\/03\/kam-nje-vajze-te-pabindur\/","title":{"rendered":"Kam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb t\u00eb pabindur"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>&#8211; I nderuar psikolog, problemi im \u00ebsht\u00eb ky: Jemi nj\u00eb \u00e7ift q\u00eb kemi dy vajza, nj\u00ebra \u00ebsht\u00eb 14 vje\u00e7e dhe tjetra 5 vje\u00e7e. Vajza e madhe vazhdon klasen e tet\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb tip shum\u00eb i pandjesh\u00ebm, e ashp\u00ebr, nuk d\u00ebgjon fare kur e urdh\u00ebrojm\u00eb p\u00ebr di\u00e7ka, ose do t\u00eb kund\u00ebrshtoj\u00eb nj\u00eb her\u00eb e pastaj e kryen porosin\u00eb. \u00cbsht\u00eb mjaft e sert\u00eb edhe me motr\u00ebn e vet q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb 5 vje\u00e7e. Mos ndoshta ngaq\u00eb vajza e vog\u00ebl p\u00ebrkedhelet m\u00eb shum\u00eb? N\u00eb m\u00ebsime nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e p\u00ebrqendruar, nuk ha ushqim ose duhet q\u00eb t\u2019i lutemi shum\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb haj\u00eb. \u00c7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb q\u00eb ajo t\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb e d\u00ebgjueshme, m\u00eb e ndjeshme? Si duhet ta b\u00ebjm\u00eb t\u00eb thot\u00eb nj\u00eb her\u00eb \u201cpo\u201d, kur e urdh\u00ebrojm\u00eb p\u00ebr di\u00e7ka? Ju faleminderit.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em><u>Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong><strong> &#8211; <\/strong>Ju shkruani se 14 vje\u00e7arja \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e pandjeshme dhe e ashp\u00ebr. Mendoj se brenda qenies s\u00eb saj ajo ka krijuar rezerva p\u00ebr ju dhe vepron ndaj k\u00ebrkesave tuaja e cytur nga nj\u00eb si revolt\u00eb e brendshme p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebn duhet t\u00eb ket\u00eb dhe i ka \u201carsyet\u201d e veta sipas m\u00ebnyres dhe logjik\u00ebs s\u00eb vet t\u00eb brisht\u00eb. Ndoshta k\u00ebto arsye q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb n\u00eb faktin se ju vraponi shum\u00eb p\u00ebr te 5-vje\u00e7arja me t\u00eb drejt\u00eb, si m\u00eb e vogla e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb dhe me siguri duke dashur q\u00eb t\u2019i thoni me veprimet tuaja se \u201ctashm\u00eb ti je e rritur\u201d, kur n\u00eb fakt ajo pavar\u00ebsisht nga trupi, \u00ebsht\u00eb ende f\u00ebmij\u00eb nga shpirti e ndjenja. Nuk ka asgj\u00eb t\u00eb keqe pse ju shfaqni dashuri e p\u00ebrkujdesje ndaj m\u00eb t\u00eb vogl\u00ebs, pasi si\u00e7 ka shkruar poeti yn\u00eb i madh \u00c7ajupi: \u201cMe se rrojn\u00eb foshnjat, \u00e7\u2018i rrit \u00e7iliminjt\u00eb? Dashuria e n\u00ebn\u00ebs dhe p\u00ebrkedhelit\u00eb!\u201d, porse, duhet q\u00eb patjet\u00ebr t\u2019i jepni edhe t\u00eb madhes \u201cpjes\u00ebn e vet\u201d. Jo vet\u00ebm ajo q\u00eb tani po p\u00ebrjeton mosh\u00ebn \u201cul\u00ebrim\u00eb\u201d t\u00eb adoleshenc\u00ebs, por \u00e7do njeri n\u00eb \u00e7do mosh\u00eb ka brenda vetes edhe pjes\u00ebn prej f\u00ebmije e cila qan ose th\u00ebrret kur i mungojn\u00eb dashuria, siguria, besimi, vet\u00ebbesimi etj. Shum\u00eb prind\u00ebr besojn\u00eb se kur rritet f\u00ebmija, duhet q\u00eb vet\u00ebm t\u00eb urdh\u00ebrojn\u00eb ose t\u2019i b\u00ebjn\u00eb thirrje p\u00ebr kujdes, se tani duhet t\u2019i logjikoj\u00eb mir\u00eb gj\u00ebrat dhe k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb e b\u00ebjn\u00eb n\u00eb ca m\u00ebnyra pedante e urdh\u00ebronj\u00ebse, si n\u00eb rolin e nj\u00eb m\u00ebsueseje t\u00eb rrept\u00eb ose intolerante. N\u00eb k\u00ebto kushte \u201cfyese\u201d ose dyshuese, tek adoleshentet del n\u00eb pah uni mbrojt\u00ebs i cili kund\u00ebrp\u00ebrgjigjet me reflekset mbrojt\u00ebse t\u00eb cilat prind\u00ebrit i shohin si t\u00eb gabuara, por nuk e besojn\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb ata vet\u00eb shkaktar\u00ebt e k\u00ebsaj gjendjeje deri n\u00eb prishje t\u00eb komunikimit e \u201cheqje t\u00eb ambasadave\u201d me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. Kam trajtuar adoleshent\u00eb q\u00eb kan\u00eb dashur t\u00eb ikin nga sht\u00ebpia, dhe thon\u00eb dy gj\u00ebra: \u201cNuk m\u00eb besojn\u00eb, vet\u00ebm m\u00eb \u201cul\u00ebrasin\u201d ose m\u00eb gjykojn\u00eb pa m\u00eb d\u00ebgjuar!\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Deri k\u00ebtu besoj se u kuptuam, e nderuar let\u00ebrshkruese. Tani le ta shpjegoj pse n\u00eb adoleshenc\u00eb duket sikur f\u00ebmija b\u00ebhet i pabindur e i pad\u00ebgjuesh\u00ebm aq sa profesor Hamit Beqja, ndjes\u00eb past\u00eb, thoshte: \u201cRuajuni nga adoleshenti se ju kthen edhe dor\u00eb!\u201d, pra, ju rreh! Ndodh di\u00e7ka e till\u00eb si te bota e kafsh\u00ebve, kur zogu ende i vog\u00ebl shkon vet\u00ebm pas mamas\u00eb dhe ajo e mbron deri me jet\u00ebn e vet, por kur ai rritet e b\u00ebhet me flatra, duhet t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtoj\u00eb folen\u00eb e vet e n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb faz\u00eb edhe ai sulmon t\u00eb \u00ebm\u00ebn si t\u00eb barabart\u00eb, po ta c\u00ebnoj\u00eb! Me siguri, Krijuesi, ky arkitekt i pagabuar, k\u00ebt\u00eb e ka menduar me men\u00e7uri, pasi ai po t\u00eb mos jet\u00eb vet\u00eb i aft\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb gjuaj\u00eb, t\u00eb fluturoj\u00eb, si dhe ta mbroj\u00eb veten, mamaja nuk do t\u00eb ishte m\u00eb n\u00eb gjendje q\u00eb t\u2019ia plot\u00ebsonte nevojat, as n\u00eb sasi e as n\u00eb cil\u00ebsi, si p\u00ebr shembull, ushqimin. Edhe n\u00eb bot\u00ebn njer\u00ebzore kjo gj\u00eb ndodh, ndaj ka adoleshent\u00eb q\u00eb u vjen zor edhe n\u00ebse prindi vjen t\u00eb interesohet te shkolla p\u00ebr ecurin\u00eb e tyre. Tani instinkti prind-f\u00ebmij\u00eb nuk e ka m\u00eb fuqin\u00eb e m\u00ebparshme, kur dilte se instinkti \u00ebsht\u00eb ndjenja e par\u00eb (ose ndjenj\u00eb e lindur) sepse tani m\u00eb shum\u00eb veprojn\u00eb ndjenjat e dyta ose ndjenjat e larta si dashuria, dhimbshuria, ndjenjat e p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsis\u00eb etj. Pra, do t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb n\u00eb adoleshenc\u00eb di\u00e7ka q\u00eb nuk \u201cshkon\u201d. Shum\u00eb prind\u00ebr i p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb si me frik\u00eb k\u00ebto ndryshime moshore, ashtu si ju tani kur ish-e vogla po \u201cgruenohet\u201d dhe p\u00ebrjeton nj\u00eb \u201clindje\u201d e dyt\u00eb, kur nga f\u00ebmija po lind i rrituri e kur dihet se nuk ka lindje pa dhimbjet e veta, edhe pse \u00e7do lindje \u00ebsht\u00eb e bukur. \u00cbsht\u00eb mosha kur fidani do mb\u00ebshtetje e kujdes m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebrthort\u00eb dhe jo me ndalesa t\u00eb ashpra, ose urdhra t\u00eb prera. Shum\u00eb prind\u00ebr e luajn\u00eb bukur k\u00ebt\u00eb rol duke e dashur e inkurajuar adoleshentin, pa e llastuar tep\u00ebr e pa i l\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb se \u201ctani u rrite, b\u00ebj \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb duash\u201d&#8230; Shum\u00eb prind\u00ebr q\u00eb u k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb ndihm\u00eb me takt adoleshent\u00ebve, jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb ndihmohen prej tyre n\u00eb pun\u00ebt e hallet e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb, por i p\u00ebrgatisin ata edhe m\u00eb mir\u00eb p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn. Kemi edhe raste si\u00e7 kam shkruar tek \u201cIntervista\u201d p\u00ebr depresionet e adoleshentit ku nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb e mir\u00eb e k\u00ebtyre depresioneve jan\u00eb t\u00eb fshehura ose t\u00eb \u201cmaskuara\u201d, saq\u00eb edhe un\u00eb mezi i dalloj sepse simptomat e depresionit ngat\u00ebrrohen ose p\u00ebrngjajn\u00eb me ato t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs ose periudh\u00ebs-kap\u00ebrcyell. Sa e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb do t\u00eb ishte gjendja e nj\u00eb adoleshenti me depresion t\u00eb maskuar, i cili jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb nuk trajtohet e ndihmohet nga prind\u00ebrit, por madje sulmohet e larg qoft\u00eb, k\u00ebto raste \u00e7ojn\u00eb edhe n\u00eb vet\u00ebvrasje. Sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb konsulta me psikologun, aq m\u00eb t\u00eb leht\u00eb do ta keni me rritjen e vajz\u00ebs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; I nderuar psikolog, problemi im \u00ebsht\u00eb ky: Jemi nj\u00eb \u00e7ift q\u00eb kemi dy vajza, nj\u00ebra \u00ebsht\u00eb 14 vje\u00e7e dhe tjetra 5 vje\u00e7e. Vajza e madhe vazhdon klasen e tet\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb tip shum\u00eb i pandjesh\u00ebm, e ashp\u00ebr, nuk d\u00ebgjon fare kur e urdh\u00ebrojm\u00eb p\u00ebr di\u00e7ka, ose do t\u00eb kund\u00ebrshtoj\u00eb nj\u00eb her\u00eb e pastaj e [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12527","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12527","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12527"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12527\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12527"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12527"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12527"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}