<\/p>\n
– I nderuar Dr. Demiri, un\u00eb kam qen\u00eb te ju disa her\u00eb, por dua t\u2019ju b\u00ebj nj\u00eb pyetje q\u00eb nuk pata guximin t\u2019jua b\u00ebja drejtp\u00ebrdrejt. Jam ajo vajza q\u00eb ju k\u00ebrkova ndihm\u00eb sepse kam frik\u00eb t\u00eb flas para t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, n\u00eb publik. Ju m\u00eb that\u00eb se kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb frika num\u00ebr \u201cnj\u00eb\u201d e t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve, por as kjo nuk m\u00eb ndihmoi. Ajo q\u00eb mua m\u00eb \u00e7uditi \u00ebsht\u00eb se ju m\u00eb k\u00ebshilluat t\u00eb b\u00ebhesha aktore apo fol\u00ebse publike… Mendova se u tall\u00ebt me mua, aq m\u00eb tep\u00ebr q\u00eb ju e vut\u00eb re se, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 sikletit, m\u00eb mbahet edhe goja, por ju u treguat serioz dhe i vendosur. \u00c7\u2019ishte kjo k\u00ebshill\u00eb e \u00e7uditshme? Pik\u00ebrisht un\u00eb q\u00eb kam frik\u00eb t\u00eb flas n\u00eb publik, t\u00eb b\u00ebhem fol\u00ebse publike? <\/strong><\/p>\n Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> – <\/strong>E nderuar vajz\u00eb, e mbaj mend shum\u00eb mir\u00eb rastin t\u00ebnd sepse ti je nj\u00eb nga ato vajza t\u00eb rralla q\u00eb mbetesh n\u00eb kujtes\u00eb me gjith\u00e7ka, me sjelljen, me bukurin\u00eb, mir\u00ebsin\u00eb, veshjen, eleganc\u00ebn etj. Kur ti erdhe n\u00eb klinik\u00ebn time, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 pak skuqjeje q\u00eb dukej si nj\u00eb \u201cmakiazh\u201d i leht\u00eb e i purpurt, asgj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr nuk v\u00ebreja… Ti kishe edhe nj\u00eb buz\u00ebqeshje magjeps\u00ebse, q\u00eb ishte aq e past\u00ebr. Mbaj mend q\u00eb n\u00eb seanc\u00ebn e par\u00eb t\u00eb dol\u00ebn ca lot, porse t\u00eb kishte lezet edhe kur qaje. T\u00eb thash\u00eb se qenke nj\u00eb artiste e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, ndaj doja t\u00eb t\u00eb bindja q\u00eb ti duhej t\u00eb b\u00ebheshe fol\u00ebse publike ose aktore. T\u00eb dhash\u00eb t\u00eb lexoje nj\u00eb lib\u00ebr \u201cKalor\u00ebsi mbi det\u201d, i cili flet p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn e t\u00eb madhit Kadri Roshi, i cili n\u00eb rinin\u00eb e vet nuk u pranua p\u00ebr konkurrim si aktor vet\u00ebm sepse i mbahej goja. Me ushtrime, duke lexuar gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn n\u00eb mes t\u00eb shkurreve te Liqeni i Tiran\u00ebs, ai e kishte shmangur nj\u00eb her\u00eb e p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb gaga\u00e7\u00ebrin\u00eb dhe u b\u00eb si\u00e7 e kemi d\u00ebgjuar, nj\u00eb aktor i madh, i famsh\u00ebm e i pap\u00ebrs\u00ebritsh\u00ebm. Shum\u00eb klient\u00ebve un\u00eb u them: \u201cmos m\u00eb thuaj se nuk e b\u00ebn dot, por se ende nuk ke filluar, se nuk po guxoje!\u201d. M\u00eb the se n\u00eb raste t\u00eb tilla, kishe provuar se t\u00eb ndihmonte pak uiski. Un\u00eb t\u00eb shpjegova se v\u00ebrtet alkooli u jep ankthioz\u00ebve social\u00eb nj\u00eb antidot t\u00eb p\u00ebrkohsh\u00ebm artificial p\u00ebr frik\u00ebn, por kjo po t\u00eb vazhdohet, do t\u00eb rezultoj\u00eb tragjike. Madje, q\u00eb n\u00eb koh\u00ebrat kur u prodhua, pseudonimi p\u00ebr \u201cuiskin\u201d ishte \u201cguxim fals\u201d, mashtrues e shkat\u00ebrrues. Deri k\u00ebtu, e qart\u00eb. Tani do t\u00eb d\u00ebshiroj t\u00eb tregoj se kam pasur edhe un\u00eb nj\u00eb periudh\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00ebn time, n\u00eb shkoll\u00ebn e mesme. Ndodhi di\u00e7ka e turpshme, nuk po gjendej kush e b\u00ebri e dyshimi ra mbi mua vet\u00ebm sepse u skuqa. Isha 16 vje\u00e7, me shum\u00eb sed\u00ebr e dinjitet. Kur kuptova se dyshonin p\u00ebr mua, skuqesha edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb, pra, u futa n\u00eb rreth vicioz. \u201cKulmi\u201d ishte kur erdh\u00ebn dy polic\u00eb e m\u00eb mor\u00ebn n\u00eb pyetje si t\u00eb \u201cdyshuar\u201d. Ata u soll\u00ebn shum\u00eb mir\u00eb me mua, por mbaj mend se un\u00eb nuk po mbushesha dot me frym\u00eb dhe nuk u jepja dot p\u00ebrgjigje. Do t\u00eb preferoja q\u00eb t\u00eb zhdukesha… t\u00eb arratisesha, t\u00eb mos m\u00eb shihte asnjeri! At\u00ebher\u00eb, nj\u00eb 15-16 vje\u00e7ar ishte si nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb i sot\u00ebm. Skuqja e mosfolja rrjedhsh\u00ebm m\u2019u shtuan edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb. Doja q\u00eb t\u2019i mblidhja t\u00eb gjith\u00eb njer\u00ebzit, t\u00eb qaja e t\u2019u betohesha q\u00eb nuk isha un\u00eb fajtori q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb besonin. Un\u00eb tani besoja se t\u00eb gjith\u00eb flisnin p\u00ebr mua, por nuk ma thonin. Nuk flija dot gjum\u00eb, nuk p\u00ebrqendrohesha dot e nuk guxoja t\u00eb shihja njeri n\u00eb sy! Dija m\u00ebsimet e nuk guxoja t\u00eb ngrija dor\u00ebn. Edhe kur lexohej emri p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb apelin apo p\u00ebr t\u00eb dal\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebsim, e ndjeja se si skuqesha deri te vesh\u00ebt. Jeta vazhdonte t\u00eb m\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsohej… s\u2019m\u00eb p\u00eblqente m\u00eb asgj\u00eb. Edhe pse u zbulua autori i v\u00ebrtet\u00eb dhe dy polic\u00ebt q\u00eb m\u00eb \u201cakuzuan\u201d m\u00eb k\u00ebrkuan t\u00eb falur, un\u00eb nuk po e merrja dot veten. U \u201ctremba\u201d nga jeta, duke menduar se \u00e7do gj\u00eb ndodh… \u00c7far\u00eb nuk ndodh! At\u00ebher\u00eb nuk kishte psikolog\u00eb, madje as m\u00ebsuesit e psikologjis\u00eb nuk b\u00ebnin k\u00ebshillime, por psikologe e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb me mua u tregua nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb nga Shkodra me emrin Adriana Fishta e cila ishte maturante dhe sekretare e rinis\u00eb s\u00eb shkoll\u00ebs. Un\u00eb ia tregoja asaj gjith\u00e7ka dhe kjo vajz\u00eb e bukur, e zgjuar, kishte aft\u00ebsi t\u00eb rralla d\u00ebgjuese q\u00eb fatkeq\u00ebsisht, rrall\u00eb i gjen te student\u00ebt tani. Ajo gjente edhe koh\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb takonte dhe kishte raste kur gati\u2013gati p\u00ebrlotej. M\u00eb donte si nj\u00eb v\u00eblla m\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl dhe un\u00eb e ndjeja k\u00ebt\u00eb, porse nuk m\u00eb \u201cllastonte\u201d madje m\u00eb jepte ndonj\u00eb \u201cdush\u201d t\u00eb ftoht\u00eb (gjithnj\u00eb dashamir\u00ebs) p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se jeta ka plot ngjarje e dashakeq\u00ebsi e n\u00eb k\u00ebto raste, pavar\u00ebsisht nga d\u00ebmi, nuk t\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb di\u00e7ka me dashje. Ka qen\u00eb nj\u00eb keqkuptim, pasi fajtori ka b\u00ebr\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb dyshimet t\u00eb binin mbi ty… Un\u00eb i thoja se tani \u201creputacioni\u201d im ishte b\u00ebr\u00eb i pariparuesh\u00ebm dhe m\u00eb dukej sikur t\u00eb gjith\u00eb vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr mua flisnin, pasi ndoshta ende nuk e kishin marr\u00eb vesh se nuk isha un\u00eb \u201cfajtori\u201d. I thoja se aft\u00ebsit\u00eb e mia, edhe pse nx\u00ebn\u00ebs i t\u00eb gjitha dhjetave, kishin marr\u00eb fund dhe z\u00ebri im ngjante si ai q\u00eb flet nga varri. Mir\u00ebpo kjo Adriana Fishta, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebn m\u00eb kan\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se ka arritur t\u00eb b\u00ebhet pedagoge n\u00eb Amerik\u00eb (Zoti e ruajt\u00eb kudo q\u00eb t\u00eb ndodhet!) kishte edhe shum\u00eb humor, si shkodrane q\u00eb ishte dhe m\u00eb thoshte se \u201caft\u00ebsit\u00eb e tua nuk humbasin edhe pse ty po t\u00eb duket sikur po e humbi si ai Xhaferri simiten\u201d. Nj\u00eb her\u00eb ajo m\u00eb tha se ti i ngjan atij t\u00eb \u201chelmuarit\u201d nga nj\u00eb ushqim i keq, por q\u00eb do t\u00eb \u00e7helmohesh ngadal\u00eb. Kjo Adriana m\u00eb nxori edhe te gazeta \u201cZ\u00ebri i Rinis\u00eb\u201d n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb, si nj\u00eb djal\u00eb shembullor dhe nuk harronte t\u00eb m\u00eb merrte n\u00eb \u00e7do mbr\u00ebmje q\u00eb organizonte ajo si drejtuese rinie, si dhe m\u00eb ftonte p\u00ebr t\u00eb vall\u00ebzuar.<\/p>\n Mbaj mend se prind\u00ebrit, me gjith\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsit\u00eb ekonomike q\u00eb kishin, shit\u00ebn nj\u00eb relike t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb q\u00eb kishte sjell\u00eb gjyshi nga Stambolli e m\u00eb blen\u00eb nj\u00eb kostum t\u00eb ri, p\u00ebr notat dhjeta, si shp\u00ebrblim. Merresha edhe me paralele dhe v\u00ebreja se dukesha i bukur dhe po t\u00ebrhiqja v\u00ebmendjen e vajzave. Mir\u00eb, por p\u00ebrs\u00ebri m\u00eb dukej vetja si nj\u00eb xham i paduksh\u00ebm q\u00eb m\u00eb ndante nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, kisha \u201csiklet\u201d kudo, jo vet\u00ebm skuqjen, q\u00eb m\u00eb dukej sikur m\u00eb sh\u00ebmtonte, por edhe v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi n\u00eb t\u00eb folur.<\/p>\n Mrekullia ndodhi kur kjo Adriana m\u00eb dha dy role, nj\u00ebri n\u00eb estrad\u00ebn q\u00eb do t\u00eb organizonte shkolla, tjetri n\u00eb teatrin amator. Roli komik i b\u00ebnte p\u00ebr t\u00eb qeshur t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, por un\u00eb e luaja \u201cseriozisht\u201d at\u00eb. Roli n\u00eb teat\u00ebr m\u00eb p\u00eblqente shum\u00eb. Kur t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt mezi m\u00ebsonin tekstet, un\u00eb u futa shpejt n\u00eb at\u00eb rol, aq sa regjisori m\u00eb quajti \u201caktor t\u00eb lindur\u201d. E ndjeja veten si ai q\u00eb po e shkel frik\u00ebn e vet, pasi k\u00ebt\u00eb k\u00ebshill\u00eb, q\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb, ma kishte dh\u00ebn\u00eb babai, i cili m\u00eb thoshte: \u201cvrapo drejt frik\u00ebs\u201d dhe un\u00eb thell\u00eb brenda vetes e ndjeja se kisha nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb. N\u00eb prova fillova t\u00eb dilja shum\u00eb mir\u00eb, madje edhe n\u00eb nj\u00eb valle q\u00eb na e m\u00ebsoi koreografi, porse skena, kur e mendoja… m\u00eb b\u00ebnte t\u00eb ngrija nga tmerri. Diku n\u00eb nj\u00eb lib\u00ebr lexova se pjes\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe t\u00eb guximit e p\u00ebrb\u00ebn praktika dhe shpejt kjo u b\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb edhe me t\u00eb folurin tim n\u00eb sken\u00eb. Kisha d\u00ebgjuar se Demosteni u b\u00eb orator i madh duke folur me or\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebra para dallg\u00ebve t\u00eb detit t\u00eb cilat \u201cosh\u00ebtinin\u201d si publik i fantaksur. Po kuptoja se frika p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb di\u00e7ka mund t\u00eb kurohet vet\u00ebm duke e b\u00ebr\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201cdi\u00e7ka\u201d. Dhe, duke i p\u00ebrs\u00ebritur k\u00ebto vazhdimisht, m\u00eb dukej sikur ndjenjat energjike \u00e7anin t\u00eb gjitha \u201cuj\u00ebvarat\u201d e frik\u00ebs.<\/p>\n Dhe ja tek m\u00eb keni, besimi im u nd\u00ebrtua n\u00eb at\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb saq\u00eb nuk e kam problem t\u00eb flas para mij\u00ebra njer\u00ebzve, para student\u00ebve ose n\u00ebp\u00ebr televizione, pa dashur t\u2019ia di se cila \u00ebsht\u00eb tema. Them ato q\u00eb mendoj dhe aq! Porse, mos ma kujtoni daljen e par\u00eb n\u00eb televizion kur isha pedagog i ri i jasht\u00ebm. \u00c7do gj\u00eb doli aq qet\u00eb e bukur, por s\u00eb brendshmi nuk e harroj at\u00eb \u201ctortur\u00eb\u201d kur i veshur me kostum e kollare nuk po guxoja t\u00eb fshija as djers\u00ebt n\u00ebn llampat si sa\u00e7, se t\u00eb tilla ishin kushtet at\u00ebher\u00eb… Me sa duket, k\u00ebto lloj \u201ctelashesh\u201d m\u00eb gjenin mua q\u00eb t\u2019i kaloja e t\u2019i vuaja vet\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u b\u00ebr\u00eb nga \u201cviktim\u00eb\u201d n\u00eb shkenc\u00ebtar menaxhues e p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndihmuar mij\u00ebra t\u00eb tjer\u00eb, si\u00e7 kam b\u00ebr\u00eb prej shum\u00eb vitesh. Besoj se do ta kuptoni, pse t\u00eb thash\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebhesh aktore!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" – I nderuar Dr. Demiri, un\u00eb kam qen\u00eb te ju disa her\u00eb, por dua t\u2019ju b\u00ebj nj\u00eb pyetje q\u00eb nuk pata guximin t\u2019jua b\u00ebja drejtp\u00ebrdrejt. Jam ajo vajza q\u00eb ju k\u00ebrkova ndihm\u00eb sepse kam frik\u00eb t\u00eb flas para t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, n\u00eb publik. Ju m\u00eb that\u00eb se kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb frika num\u00ebr \u201cnj\u00eb\u201d e t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12431","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12431","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12431"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12431\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12431"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12431"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12431"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}