{"id":12326,"date":"2016-03-08T17:30:56","date_gmt":"2016-03-08T16:30:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=12326"},"modified":"2016-03-08T13:36:17","modified_gmt":"2016-03-08T12:36:17","slug":"cfare-parashikon-feja-per-martesat-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2016\/03\/cfare-parashikon-feja-per-martesat-2\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00c7far\u00eb parashikon feja p\u00ebr martesat?"},"content":{"rendered":"

– I nderuar Dr. Demiri, un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj quhem Gena dhe jam katolike. Kam komshinj tre \u00e7ifte t\u00eb fes\u00eb islame dhe habitem se sa mir\u00eb e n\u00eb harmoni q\u00eb ata jetojn\u00eb. As xhelozi nuk kan\u00eb e as grindjet apo divorcet nuk para ndodhin te familjet islame. Kisha p\u00ebrshtypjen se grat\u00eb muslimane jan\u00eb t\u00eb n\u00ebnshtruara, por t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn te \u00e7iftet q\u00eb njoh, nuk po e shoh k\u00ebt\u00eb. Meqen\u00ebse kam par\u00eb q\u00eb ju si psikolog, her\u00eb pas here i bazoni k\u00ebshillat tuaja edhe te librat e shenjt\u00eb, doja nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb pyetje: \u00c7far\u00eb parashikon feja, sidomos ajo islame p\u00ebr martesat? Me shum\u00eb respekt p\u00ebr ju, Gena.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klini\u00e7ist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> – <\/strong>E nderuar Gena, k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb q\u00eb ju e thoni n\u00eb let\u00ebr, un\u00eb e kam konstatuar q\u00ebkur. \u00c7iftet e fes\u00eb katolike b\u00ebjn\u00eb betimin para altarit dhe kjo ka shum\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi. Po ashtu, \u00e7iftet e fes\u00eb islame e lidhin martes\u00ebn me premtimet para Zotit, p\u00ebr besnik\u00ebri e p\u00ebrkushtim dhe nuk kan\u00eb ndonj\u00eb nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb kontrollojn\u00eb e xhelozojn\u00eb nj\u00ebri-tjetrin pasi ata kan\u00eb frik\u00eb Zotin; at\u00eb q\u00eb i sheh kudo q\u00eb jan\u00eb e \u00e7far\u00ebdo q\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb. Obligimet e \u00e7iftit p\u00ebr nj\u00ebri-tjetrin, p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt dhe prind\u00ebrit jan\u00eb t\u00eb pasqyruara sakt\u00eb n\u00eb librat e shenjt\u00eb, kryesisht te Bibla e Kurani. Megjithat\u00eb, p\u00ebr t\u2019iu p\u00ebrgjigjur m\u00eb sakt\u00eb letr\u00ebs suaj, kontaktova te xhamia n\u00eb rrug\u00ebn e Kavaj\u00ebs, Imamin e nderuar, Ahmet Kalaja, i cili m\u00eb shpjegoi me durim ca detaje q\u00eb un\u00eb nuk i dija. Imam Ahmeti m\u00eb tha se jan\u00eb 3 rregulla ose tri porosi hyjnore madhore t\u00eb cilat rregullojn\u00eb martesat islame, si tri \u201ckolona\u201d t\u00eb forta.<\/p>\n

– Porosia e par\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr dh\u00ebndrrin, t\u00eb cilit i thuhet: Sillu mir\u00eb me bashk\u00ebshorten, sepse sipas porosive islame, \u201cm\u00eb i miri prej jush \u00ebsht\u00eb ai q\u00eb sillet mir\u00eb me bashk\u00ebshorten\u201d, ndaj edhe p\u00ebrmendet n\u00eb ajetin kuranor porosia \u201cKaloni jet\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb m\u00eb grat\u00eb tuaja\u201d. Si\u00e7 shihet, p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsia m\u00eb e madhe bie mbi burrat, por edhe populli, edhe ne psikolog\u00ebt themi q\u00eb burri i mir\u00eb, e b\u00ebn dhe gruan t\u00eb mir\u00eb dhe anasjelltas. \u00cbsht\u00eb normale t\u00eb themi se burri \u00ebsht\u00eb pajisur nga Krijuesi me disa aft\u00ebsi t\u00eb ve\u00e7anta q\u00eb gruaja nuk i ka, si forca fizike, durimi e q\u00ebndrueshm\u00ebria prej luft\u00ebtari. Me k\u00ebto karakteristika, ai duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb q\u00eb gruaja t\u00eb ndjehet t\u00ebr\u00ebsisht e mbrojtur dhe e dashuruar prej tij. Ndryshimet e bukura nd\u00ebrmjet burrit e gruas, Krijuesi i ka b\u00ebr\u00eb me q\u00ebllim q\u00eb burri e gruaja t\u00eb p\u00ebrshtaten sa m\u00eb mir\u00eb me nj\u00ebri-tjetrin dhe rolin prej luft\u00ebtari e \u201cgjahtari\u201d nuk ia ka dh\u00ebn\u00eb burrit p\u00ebr t\u00eb rrezikuar apo p\u00ebr t\u00eb \u201cgjuajtur\u201d grat\u00eb e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, por p\u00ebr t\u00eb mbrojtur deri n\u00eb vet\u00ebmohim familjen e vet dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb sjell\u00eb ushqim p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e familjen. Ndaj nj\u00eb burr\u00eb frikacak, t\u00eb pasuksessh\u00ebm ose dembel, asnj\u00eb grua nuk e do, ashtu si\u00e7 veprojn\u00eb blet\u00ebt q\u00eb meshkujt parazit\u00eb i nxjerrin nga kosherja e i d\u00ebbojn\u00eb. Pra, shkurt, burri duhet q\u00eb si ai \u201ctimonieri\u201d i zoti, t\u2019i krijoj\u00eb siguri e qet\u00ebsi gruas n\u00eb udh\u00ebtimin e gjat\u00eb e t\u00eb bukur t\u00eb martes\u00ebs.<\/p>\n

– Porosia e dyt\u00eb kuranore \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr grat\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i binden burrit. P\u00ebr grat\u00eb q\u00eb u binden burrave, Zoti thot\u00eb: \u201cRuaj nderin, bindju burrit dhe futu n\u00eb cil\u00ebn der\u00eb t\u00eb Xhehnetit t\u00eb duash… E shikoni pra? Me k\u00ebto porosi, Krijuesi duket sikur thot\u00eb: \u201cJu, o njer\u00ebz, e keni vet\u00eb n\u00eb dor\u00eb lumturin\u00eb tuaj\u201d. Ja pra se \u00e7far\u00eb vler\u00ebsimi i madh p\u00ebr grat\u00eb e ndershme e q\u00eb u binden burrave! P\u00ebr to thuhet se Parajsa \u00ebsht\u00eb e hapur n\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha kanatet. Vet\u00eb fakti q\u00eb Zoti u drejtohet m\u00eb s\u00eb pari burrave \u00ebsht\u00eb vler\u00ebsim dhe p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi e madhe p\u00ebr ta, pasi ata jan\u00eb \u201ckapiten\u00ebt\u201d dhe ashtu si\u00e7 nuk ka anije me dy kapiten\u00eb, nuk ka as familje me dy \u201ct\u00eb par\u00eb\u201d. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se familja nuk ec\u00ebn mir\u00eb, p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsia kryesore i bie burrit, porse edhe p\u00ebr gruan roli \u00ebsht\u00eb i madh. Sipas fes\u00eb islame, n\u00eb qoft\u00eb se nj\u00eb grua sido e sado q\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqet, nuk mundet q\u00eb t\u2019i realizoj\u00eb obligimet, burrit i tolerohet q\u00eb t\u00eb marr\u00eb nj\u00eb grua t\u00eb dyt\u00eb, por jo t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb me prostituta apo t\u00eb prish\u00eb familjet e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. N\u00eb k\u00ebto raste, gruaja e par\u00eb, e cila kurrsesi nuk mund t\u00eb \u201crib\u00ebhet\u201d, duhet ta pranoj\u00eb vullnetin e Zotit, por edhe kjo rregullohet me ligje t\u00eb atilla q\u00eb asnj\u00ebri t\u00eb mos ndihet i c\u00ebnuar, i humbur apo i braktisur, sidomos f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. K\u00ebsaj \u00e7\u00ebshtjeje nuk do t\u2019i futemi, por edhe ne psikolog\u00ebt themi: \u201cmos e rib\u00ebj tjetrin\u201d dhe n\u00eb popull thuhet se shpesh nj\u00eb e tret\u00eb, \u201cqari\u201d i gruas. Ndoshta kjo duhet t\u00eb gjej\u00eb pasqyrim edhe n\u00eb kodin e familjes. Kam d\u00ebgjuar se edhe grat\u00eb k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019u lejohet martesa me m\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00eb burr\u00eb, por kjo do t\u00eb ishte si t\u00eb hidhje n\u00eb nj\u00eb en\u00eb disa kupa me qum\u00ebsht e asnj\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb gjente m\u00eb se cili \u00ebsht\u00eb qum\u00ebshti i vet, pra, f\u00ebmija nuk do t\u00eb dihej se i kujt babai \u00ebsht\u00eb, ndaj edhe nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb lejuar sipas fes\u00eb.<\/p>\n

– Porosia e tret\u00eb hyjnore \u00ebsht\u00eb se nuk ka p\u00ebrse t\u00eb m\u00ebrzitet besimtari apo besimtarja n\u00ebse sheh di\u00e7ka te tjetri q\u00eb nuk i p\u00eblqen, pasi \u00ebsht\u00eb e pamundur q\u00eb t\u00eb gjesh te nj\u00eb njeri \u00e7do gj\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebshiruar. Edhe ne psikolog\u00ebt themi q\u00eb duhen par\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb an\u00ebt pozitive t\u00eb cilat kur jan\u00eb shum\u00eb, i \u201cmbytin\u201d ato negativet. Por, mos u lodhni q\u00eb t\u00eb gjeni nj\u00eb njeri pa t\u00eb meta(!). T\u00eb metat jan\u00eb 3 llojesh: t\u00eb meta q\u00eb mund t\u00eb eleminohen, t\u00eb meta q\u00eb mund t\u00eb dob\u00ebsohen dhe t\u00eb meta q\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb hiqen. P\u00ebr t\u00eb metat q\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb hiqen, ku futet edhe t\u00eb mosqenit i bukur apo e bukur, p\u00ebrdoret parimi i pranimit t\u00eb caktimit t\u00eb Zotit. Ndaj \u00ebsht\u00eb e famshme nj\u00eb lutje fetare kristiane me k\u00ebto fjal\u00eb: \u201cO Zot, m\u00eb jep dituri e fuqi q\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshoj ato gj\u00ebra q\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb, t\u00eb duroj ato gj\u00ebra q\u00eb s\u2019ndryshojn\u00eb dhe t\u00eb di t\u00eb dalloj gj\u00ebrat q\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb nga ato q\u00eb s\u2019ndryshojn\u00eb\u201d.<\/p>\n

K\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje po e mbyll me nj\u00eb sh\u00ebmb\u00eblltyr\u00eb t\u00eb bukur dibrane ku nj\u00eb burr\u00eb vendosi q\u00eb ta ndante gruan vet\u00ebm sepse nuk ishte aq sa duhet pun\u00ebtore, edhe pse cil\u00ebsit\u00eb e tjera t\u00eb bukura i kishte me boll\u00ebk, sidomos zgjuarsin\u00eb e bukurin\u00eb. Kur gruaja e kuptoi q\u00eb ai do ta \u00e7onte te dera e babait p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos e marr\u00eb m\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e tij, ajo iu drejtua: \u201cO burri im i dashur, a t\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj nj\u00eb pyetje?\u201d. \u201cPo, i tha ai, sa t\u00eb duash\u201d. \u201cPse ti nuk je aq trim dhe i zgjuar sa Sali Demiri?\u201d. \u201cEh, moj grua, iu p\u00ebrgjigj ai. Kush nuk do q\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb si Sali Demiri, por aq ma ka shkruar Zoti\u201d. \u201cBukur, iu p\u00ebrgjigj ajo, edhe mua p\u00ebr pun\u00eb kaq ma ka shkruar Zoti, edhe pse t\u00eb tjerat m\u2019i ka dh\u00ebn\u00eb me boll\u00ebk\u201d. Ai qeshi dhe i tha: \u201cNa b\u00ebj nj\u00eb kafe ta pim\u00eb bashk\u00eb se nuk do t\u00eb t\u00eb ndaj kurr\u00eb, por sidoqoft\u00eb, p\u00ebrpiqu pak m\u00eb shum\u00eb\u201d.<\/p>\n

Besoj se u kuptuam, Gena e dashur.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

– I nderuar Dr. Demiri, un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj quhem Gena dhe jam katolike. Kam komshinj tre \u00e7ifte t\u00eb fes\u00eb islame dhe habitem se sa mir\u00eb e n\u00eb harmoni q\u00eb ata jetojn\u00eb. As xhelozi nuk kan\u00eb e as grindjet apo divorcet nuk para ndodhin te familjet islame. Kisha p\u00ebrshtypjen se grat\u00eb muslimane jan\u00eb t\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12326","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12326","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12326"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12326\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}