<\/p>\n
– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje zoti psikolog. Jam e fejuar prej m\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00eb viti. Si ai, ashtu edhe un\u00eb, kemi f\u00ebmij\u00eb nga martesat e para. Problemi q\u00ebndron se i fejuari im ka shum\u00eb vite pa pun\u00eb e shum\u00eb borxhe, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb n\u00eb qytetin ku jetoj jam n\u00eb pun\u00eb, por tani jam n\u00eb dilem\u00eb se ku do t\u00eb jetojm\u00eb pas martese. A t\u00eb shkoj t\u00eb jetoj me t\u00eb n\u00eb qytetin e tij e t\u00eb rrim\u00eb pa pun\u00eb t\u00eb dy me gjith\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt tan\u00eb, apo t\u00eb jetoj me t\u00eb n\u00eb qytetin tim duke punuar vet\u00ebm un\u00eb, por q\u00eb s\u2019ia dalim dot se b\u00ebhem shum\u00eb an\u00ebtar\u00eb n\u00eb familje? M\u00eb duket se un\u00eb jam penduar q\u00eb u fejova me t\u00eb, por at\u00ebher\u00eb s\u2019i dija t\u00eb gjitha rreth tij. Tani jam n\u00eb dilem\u00eb se, t\u00ebrhiq e mos e k\u00ebput. Nuk mund t\u00eb vazhdojm\u00eb duke pritur q\u00eb ai t\u00eb filloj\u00eb pun\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mbaj\u00eb familjen q\u00eb do t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtojm\u00eb. M\u00eb thoni ju lutem se \u00e7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj, se jam n\u00eb udh\u00ebkryq. Ana. <\/strong><\/p>\n Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> – E nderuara Ana, pik\u00eb s\u00eb pari, ju fal\u00ebnderoj p\u00ebr letr\u00ebn dhe m\u00eb vjen mir\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebrkoni nj\u00eb zgjidhje p\u00ebr problemin q\u00eb keni. Si ju, edhe burri juaj i ardhsh\u00ebm duhet t\u00eb qart\u00ebsoni mendimet nga ana psikologjike, shpirt\u00ebrore, sociale e ekonomike dhe t\u00eb dy t\u00eb merrni \u201cmiratimin\u201d e nj\u00ebri-tjetrit. Ju duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebni \u201cbilancin\u201d e situat\u00ebs dhe t\u00eb veproni me mir\u00ebkuptim, pa u marr\u00eb me t\u00eb kaluar\u00ebn. N\u00ebse i fejuari garanton t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn strehim (nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi) dhe mendoni se s\u00eb bashku e p\u00ebrballoni jet\u00ebn m\u00eb mir\u00eb, dakord, por gjithmon\u00eb duke k\u00ebrkuar e gjetur pun\u00eb. Duhet t\u00eb vendosni duke i zgjidhur m\u00eb par\u00eb disa gj\u00ebra kryesore jet\u00ebsore sepse shum\u00eb individ\u00eb nuk e gjejn\u00eb \u00e7do gj\u00eb gati, prandaj duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb plan e pastaj t\u00eb veproni. P\u00ebr mendimin tim, ju duhet t\u00eb pyesni edhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt tuaj, a jan\u00eb ata dakord p\u00ebr k\u00ebto ndryshime, apo jo? Edhe t\u00eb af\u00ebrmit duhen marr\u00eb n\u00eb konsiderat\u00eb, edhe pse jeta juaj \u00ebsht\u00eb e \u201cjuaja\u201d. Kjo l\u00ebvizje duhet par\u00eb n\u00eb shum\u00eb aspekte, sociale, ekonomike, psikologjike etj. Ju duhet t\u00eb konsultoheni me t\u00eb fejuarin tuaj, t\u00eb dini \u00e7far\u00eb doni dhe \u00e7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebni, por ardhja juaj t\u00eb dy bashk\u00eb p\u00ebr psikoterapi \u00e7ifti do t\u2019jua hap\u00eb syt\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb par\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb alternativat e zgjidhjes me baza t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha, p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00ebn p\u00ebr ju vet\u00eb e p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt tuaj. Ato q\u00eb shkaktojn\u00eb stres nuk jan\u00eb aq mendimet dhe ndodhit\u00eb n\u00eb vetvete, por m\u00ebnyra se si ne i mendojm\u00eb ato dhe se si veprojm\u00eb. Ndaj, n\u00eb Per\u00ebndim, sipas statistikave, 90 % e \u00e7ifteve q\u00eb duan t\u00eb krijojn\u00eb nj\u00eb familje t\u00eb re, marrin k\u00ebshilla familjare te psikologu k\u00ebshillues. Kjo gj\u00eb po aplikohet edhe te ne. N\u00eb rastin tuaj, un\u00eb do ta pyesja t\u00eb fejuarin se p\u00ebrse ai ka shum\u00eb vite pa pun\u00eb, pse s\u2019i ka th\u00ebn\u00eb kush \u201cpuna e mbar\u00eb!\u201d, pse ai ka aq shum\u00eb borxhe? A mos ai martes\u00ebn me ju e sheh si ajo pema kacavjerr\u00ebse q\u00eb edhe lisit m\u00eb t\u00eb fort\u00eb ia \u201cmerr shpirtin\u201d duke u \u201cmartuar\u201d me t\u00eb? Un\u00eb duhet t\u2019ju b\u00ebj shum\u00eb pyetje me q\u00ebllim q\u00eb pas tyre t\u2019ju jap k\u00ebshillat specifike, ndaj p\u00ebrgjigjen p\u00ebr ju po e konsideroj si t\u00eb pjesshme. Se \u00e7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb dini ju dhe t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ata q\u00eb lidhin martes\u00eb, po e shpjegoj pak m\u00eb posht\u00eb.<\/p>\n Parap\u00ebrgatitja p\u00ebr martes\u00eb k\u00ebrkon pjekuri fizike e mendore, por edhe pjekuri ndjenjash ose pjekuri emocionale. Njeriu me ndjenja t\u00eb papjekura, ndon\u00ebse n\u00eb mosh\u00eb t\u00eb rritur, ende ruan lidhjet emocionale prind\u00ebrore ose ato tipe reaksionesh q\u00eb jan\u00eb karakteristike p\u00ebr moshat f\u00ebminore. Prandaj, njeriu q\u00eb p\u00ebrgatitet p\u00ebr martes\u00eb duhet t\u00eb \u00e7lirohet me kujdes nga ndikimi emocional i prind\u00ebrve dhe t\u00eb ket\u00eb pavar\u00ebsi gjykimi, n\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt, lidhja bashk\u00ebshortore e \u00e7iftit t\u00eb ardhsh\u00ebm mund t\u00eb l\u00ebkundet. Natyrisht, ndaj prind\u00ebrve duhet dashuri e respekt. Nuk ka prind q\u00eb nuk e d\u00ebshiron p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn lumturin\u00eb bashk\u00ebshortore, megjithat\u00eb nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb pak\u00ebta rastet kur vet\u00eb prind\u00ebrit ndikojn\u00eb negativisht n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb aspekt, sigurisht, nga mungesa e kultur\u00ebs. V\u00ebzhgimet tregojn\u00eb se ka raste kur vajza e martuar ndikohet nga prind\u00ebrit e vet dhe nuk vler\u00ebson si duhet t\u00eb shoqin ose prind\u00ebrit e tij. Ose djalit t\u00eb ri i p\u00eblqen nusja, por v\u00ebren se n\u00ebna e tij nuk ia vler\u00ebson si duhet, prandaj edhe ai fillon ta shikoj\u00eb me tjet\u00ebr sy at\u00eb. Raste t\u00eb ndikimeve t\u00eb tilla te bashk\u00ebshort\u00ebt jan\u00eb tregues p\u00ebr papjekuri dhe paq\u00ebndrueshm\u00ebri ndjenjash nga ana e partnerit fem\u00ebr ose mashkull. Ata q\u00eb lidhin martes\u00eb, para s\u00eb gjithash duhet t\u2019i japin vetes p\u00ebrgjigje t\u00eb qarta n\u00ebse i lidh ndjenja e dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, n\u00ebse e kan\u00eb studiuar e njohur mir\u00eb nj\u00ebri-tjetrin, a ka bashk\u00ebsi interesash, pjekuri ndjenjash dhe a mund t\u2019ia besosh njeriut tjet\u00ebr veten, ndjenjat dhe a mund t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetesh tek ai. Edukata seksuale ka si q\u00ebllim q\u00eb t\u00eb edukoj\u00eb tek i riu ose e reja ndjenj\u00ebn e p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsis\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjitha veprimet e tij n\u00eb fush\u00ebn e seksit. K\u00ebtu m\u00eb tep\u00ebr se n\u00eb \u00e7do aspekt tjet\u00ebr tregohet pjekuria dhe edukata e njeriut. Ndjenja e p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsis\u00eb, humanizmi dhe solidariteti njer\u00ebzor nd\u00ebrmjet dy njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb dashuruar u jep nj\u00eb p\u00ebrmbajtje t\u00eb re ndjenjave t\u00eb tyre, shton m\u00eb tep\u00ebr k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsin\u00eb dhe lufton egoizmin e vetmin\u00eb. Kjo duhet patur parasysh n\u00eb m\u00ebny\u00eb t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb n\u00eb lidhje me martes\u00ebn. Duhet punuar q\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00eb t\u00eb re q\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt t\u00eb futen n\u00eb martes\u00eb me bindjen se pothuajse \u00e7do gj\u00eb varet nga ata vet\u00eb, nga p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsia e puna mbi vetveten. N\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt, pasioni seksual mund t\u00eb shkaktoj\u00eb fatkeq\u00ebsi, si personale, ashtu edhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Martesa, si\u00e7 shkruan Luteri, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb \u201cfsheht\u00ebsi e shenjt\u00eb\u201d, por marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie e dy qenieve t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha me sekse t\u00eb kund\u00ebrta. Me fjal\u00eb t\u00eb tjera, Luteri u lejonte bashk\u00ebshort\u00ebve prishjen e kuror\u00ebs kur ata nuk i plot\u00ebsojn\u00eb detyrat martesore dhe kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb e pranueshme, por q\u00eb t\u00eb mos arrij\u00eb puna deri k\u00ebtu, nevojiten ndjenja e p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsis\u00eb dhe sy\u00e7elt\u00ebsia si p\u00ebr zgjedhjen e bashk\u00ebshort\u00ebve, ashtu edhe gjat\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt, e cila forcohet nga maturia dhe kultivimi i ndjenjave. S\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb e leht\u00eb t\u00eb krijosh martes\u00eb t\u00eb lumtur, por akoma m\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb ta mbash at\u00eb t\u00eb lumtur. N\u00eb thelb, martesa mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrkufizohet si bashk\u00ebsi seksuale e njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb sekseve t\u00eb kund\u00ebrta, e pranuar publikisht, me t\u00eb cil\u00ebn synohet jo vet\u00ebm krijimi i familjes dhe lumturia bashk\u00ebshortore, por edhe marrja p\u00ebrsip\u00ebr e p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsis\u00eb p\u00ebr p\u00ebrkujdesjet, mir\u00ebrritjen dhe edukimin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve. P\u00ebrmes edukimit seksual synohet q\u00eb t\u00eb krijohen te brezi i ri raporte e q\u00ebndrime t\u00eb drejta q\u00eb do t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb dobishme jo vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr vete, por edhe p\u00ebr partnerin seksual, duke p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb k\u00ebtu edhe q\u00ebndrimin ndaj pasardh\u00ebsve e shoq\u00ebris\u00eb. Kjo nuk arrihet me informacione sip\u00ebrfaq\u00ebsore e moralizime, aq m\u00eb tep\u00ebr n\u00eb nj\u00eb mosh\u00eb t\u00eb rritur.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" – P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje zoti psikolog. Jam e fejuar prej m\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00eb viti. Si ai, ashtu edhe un\u00eb, kemi f\u00ebmij\u00eb nga martesat e para. Problemi q\u00ebndron se i fejuari im ka shum\u00eb vite pa pun\u00eb e shum\u00eb borxhe, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb n\u00eb qytetin ku jetoj jam n\u00eb pun\u00eb, por tani jam n\u00eb dilem\u00eb se ku […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[92,86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12230","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-halle","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12230","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12230"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12230\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12230"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12230"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12230"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}