<\/p>\n
– I nderuar Dr. Demiri, ndoshta do t\u2019ju duket e \u00e7uditshme kjo letra ime, por e kam kuptuar sesa her\u00eb q\u00eb mendoj se s\u2019m\u00eb mungon asgj\u00eb, ndihem i r\u00ebn\u00eb moralisht. Si m\u00eb k\u00ebshilloni ju t\u00eb veproj? Si mund ta b\u00ebj balancimin e ndjenjave q\u00eb t\u00eb jem gjithmon\u00eb i lumtur? Me respekt, Ridi.<\/strong><\/p>\n Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> – I nderuar Ridi, nuk ka n\u00eb bot\u00eb asnj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb koh\u00ebn n\u00eb qejf. Supozojm\u00eb se e gjet\u00ebm personin m\u00eb t\u00eb lumtur n\u00eb bot\u00eb dhe eja q\u00eb ta intervistojm\u00eb s\u00eb bashku. \u00c7udit\u00ebrisht, do t\u00eb marrim vesh se as ai nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb i qet\u00eb, i g\u00ebzuar, i lumtur. Edhe njer\u00ebzit m\u00eb t\u00eb men\u00e7ur e t\u00eb zot\u00ebt, edhe ata m\u00eb t\u00eb lumturit, kan\u00eb edhe ata m\u00ebrzitje e zhg\u00ebnjime, kan\u00eb plot momente q\u00eb ndihen t\u00eb r\u00ebn\u00eb moralisht. Duke lexuar k\u00ebto fjali, ti mund t\u00eb pyes\u00ebsh: Po cili \u00ebsht\u00eb at\u00ebher\u00eb ndryshimi midis nj\u00eb personi q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i lumtur dhe nj\u00eb tjetri q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb, pasi gati si nj\u00eblloj po m\u00eb duken? Ndryshimi \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm arsyeja se \u00e7far\u00eb i b\u00ebn ata t\u00eb ndjehen keq shpirt\u00ebrisht dhe jo fakti se sa shpesh ndodh q\u00eb ata t\u00eb ndjehen t\u00eb r\u00ebn\u00eb moralisht. K\u00ebt\u00eb do t\u00eb mund ta kuptosh po t\u00eb t\u00eb them un\u00eb se m\u00eb t\u00eb palumturit jan\u00eb ata t\u00eb cil\u00ebt gjejn\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr t\u2019u m\u00ebrzitur, edhe kur pun\u00ebt u shkojn\u00eb mbar\u00eb. Pra, p\u00ebr k\u00ebta t\u00eb fundit kjo gj\u00eb funksionon s\u00eb prapthi: n\u00eb vend q\u00eb ata t\u00eb p\u00ebrveshin m\u00ebng\u00ebt e t\u2019u futen pun\u00ebve, q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb pasiv\u00eb dhe inert\u00eb duke pritur \u201cndryshime\u201d pozitive. Kurse krejt ndryshe, njer\u00ebzit e lumtur, nuk kan\u00eb shum\u00eb koh\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u m\u00ebrzitur pasi direkt analizojn\u00eb situat\u00ebn, shohin se \u00e7far\u00eb nuk shkon dhe u futen me qejf pun\u00ebve. I japin forc\u00eb e kurajo vetes p\u00ebr t\u2019i nxjerr\u00eb nga gjendja e r\u00ebnd\u00eb dhe nuk presin q\u00eb pun\u00ebt t\u00eb \u201czgjidhen\u201d vet\u00eb. Jeta nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb si ndonj\u00eb telenovel\u00eb ku ka plot \u201cdrama\u201d e zmadhime. Un\u00eb kam studiuar e njohur plot njer\u00ebz t\u00eb till\u00eb n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi nuk i marrin gj\u00ebrat e vogla aq seriozisht, nuk alarmohen dhe gjithmon\u00eb ndihen t\u00eb qet\u00eb, t\u00eb relaksuar e shum\u00eb mir\u00ebnjoh\u00ebs. Nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb e mir\u00eb kan\u00eb ardhur p\u00ebr k\u00ebshillim psikologjik, jo se pun\u00ebt u shkonin keq, por p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar pik\u00ebrisht k\u00ebt\u00eb e p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjetur \u201c\u00e7el\u00ebsin\u201d e lumturis\u00eb. Mos u \u00e7udisni; te psikologu vijn\u00eb t\u00eb men\u00e7urit, t\u00eb zot\u00ebt e trimat, ata q\u00eb k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb ndryshime pozitive e nuk vijn\u00eb t\u00eb dob\u00ebtit, t\u00eb painteresuarit apo frikacak\u00ebt. K\u00ebshtu, gjat\u00eb seancave ata do t\u00eb kuptojn\u00eb se t\u00eb dyja ndjenjat, si pozitivja, ashtu edhe negativja ikin e vijn\u00eb, pasi ka dit\u00eb q\u00eb ndjehen shk\u00eblqyer, por ka edhe dit\u00eb q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb jen\u00eb aq mir\u00eb. E keni par\u00eb detin? Tamam si ai \u00ebsht\u00eb njeriu, her\u00eb-her\u00eb i qet\u00eb, hera-her\u00ebs me ato baticat e zbaticat me t\u00eb cilat ai pastron veten. Njer\u00ebzit e zgjuar q\u00eb kan\u00eb si natyr\u00eb lumturin\u00eb, e din\u00eb dhe e pranojn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb: faktin e pashmangsh\u00ebm q\u00eb ndjenjat ndryshojn\u00eb, alternohen. Pra, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb arsyeja q\u00eb ata kur ndjehen t\u00eb stresuar, t\u00eb acaruar apo t\u00eb d\u00ebshp\u00ebruar, i presin k\u00ebto ndjenja me t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn lirshm\u00ebri e pranim sepse stresi, ankthi e depresioni, sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i stimulosh, aq m\u00eb t\u00eb \u201ceg\u00ebr\u201d b\u00ebhen. Ndaj ne psikolog\u00ebt i k\u00ebshillojm\u00eb klient\u00ebt: Kur ndihesh i r\u00ebn\u00eb moralisht, mos i lufto ndjenjat e tua, p\u00ebrkundrazi qet\u00ebsohu dhe mbaj nj\u00eb q\u00ebndrim pozitiv sepse s\u00eb shpejti do t\u00eb jesh p\u00ebrs\u00ebri i lumtur. Nuk \u201cluftohet\u201d me stuhin\u00eb. Klient\u00ebt gjat\u00eb seancave e kuptojn\u00eb se n\u00ebse ata i luftojn\u00eb ndjenjat dhe panikun e tyre, kjo do t\u2019i b\u00ebj\u00eb ata q\u00eb t\u00eb ndjehen m\u00eb keq, sipas psikologes Euglena Nako, nj\u00eb studente e zellshme.<\/p>\n – Nd\u00ebr teknikat e menaxhimit \u00ebsht\u00eb njohja, pranimi dhe v\u00ebzhgimi i tyre: Do ta pranoj faktin se jam i m\u00ebrzitur e n\u00eb ankth, pra, i trembur, e \u00e7far\u00eb pastaj? Do t\u00eb kaloj\u00eb sepse si\u00e7 ka ndodhur gjithmon\u00eb, nuk m\u00eb ka b\u00ebr\u00eb ndonj\u00eb d\u00ebm, pasi pas koh\u00ebs s\u00eb keqe, vjen koha e mir\u00eb dhe ja tani kam rast t\u00eb provoj e \u201csprovoj\u201d veten, jo si m\u00eb par\u00eb… duke vepruar me panik e alarm. Pra, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb acarohem, pengohen dhe t\u00eb luftojn\u00eb kundra ndjenjave negative, klient\u00ebt m\u00ebsojn\u00eb si t\u00eb jen\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb qet\u00eb e tolerant\u00eb duke i pranuar ato. Kjo u jep atyre mund\u00ebsin\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb dalin sa m\u00eb shpejt nga k\u00ebto gjendje dhe t\u00eb sjellin p\u00ebr veten e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt gjendje pozitive e ndjenja lumturie. Kjo n\u00eb fakt \u00ebsht\u00eb e kuptueshme dhe m\u00eb logjike, pasi nuk besoj t\u00eb ket\u00eb ndonj\u00eb njeri i cili kur i dhemb koka, ta p\u00ebrplas\u00eb at\u00eb te muri. Pra, ndryshimi \u00ebsht\u00eb se nj\u00eb person i lumtur, jo se nuk p\u00ebrjeton r\u00ebnie shpirt\u00ebrore, por ai ka m\u00ebsuar q\u00eb t\u2019i mir\u00ebpres\u00eb k\u00ebto ndjenja, \u00ebsht\u00eb i m\u00ebsuar me to dhe nuk do t\u2019ia dij\u00eb shum\u00eb, pasi ai \u00ebsht\u00eb i sigurt\u00eb se do t\u00eb jet\u00eb p\u00ebs\u00ebri p\u00ebr bukuri e i g\u00ebzuar, se \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm \u00e7\u00ebshtje kohe. Duket sikur ai nuk i sheh ato si ndonj\u00eb gj\u00eb t\u00eb madhe, nuk e sheh t\u00eb nevojshme q\u00eb t\u2019i \u201cfryj\u00eb\u201d brengat si ndonj\u00eb balon\u00eb zem\u00ebrimi e nuk i zmadhon situatat kot s\u00eb koti. Kujtoni \u201cheroin\u201d popullor, Nastradinin, i cili kur kishte \u201ckeq\u201d, qeshte sepse thoshte se pas \u00e7do t\u00eb keqeje, vjen nj\u00eb e mir\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu ndodh, si n\u00eb nj\u00eb trajnim, disa njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb cil\u00ebve u \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb zakon i keq p\u00ebr t\u2019u m\u00ebrzitur p\u00ebr \u00e7do gj\u00eb e lumturia e cila m\u00eb p\u00ebrpara sikur u \u201cfironte\u201d (u ikte) si n\u00ebp\u00ebr gishta, tani din\u00eb q\u00eb ta ndalin e ta g\u00ebzojn\u00eb at\u00eb. Pas dit\u00ebs vjen nata e pas nat\u00ebs s\u00eb err\u00ebt, Dielli q\u00eb ka per\u00ebnduar do t\u00eb shfaqet s\u00ebrish n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes. Un\u00eb i m\u00ebsoj klient\u00ebt q\u00eb n\u00eb situatat e ankthit e panikut apo t\u00eb nj\u00eb deprimimi t\u00eb thell\u00eb, t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb \u201cv\u00ebzhguesin\u201d, pa u p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb thell\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebto lloj situatash. Mos i shtoni ankthit ankth e d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimit d\u00ebshp\u00ebrim. Mos u m\u00ebrzisni pse u m\u00ebrzit\u00ebt. Thuajini vetes: \u201cJa, tani un\u00eb kam rast q\u00eb t\u00eb shoh se sa mir\u00eb do t\u2019ia kaloj\u201d, b\u00ebj edhe hiperventilimin (mbushjen me frym\u00eb ngadal\u00eb, mbajtjen e frym\u00ebs gjat\u00eb e nxjerrjen ngadal\u00eb, disa her\u00eb) dhe merruni me nj\u00eb pun\u00eb. Her\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr do t\u00eb jeni m\u00eb i st\u00ebrvitur, ja si un\u00eb tani q\u00eb kur shkrova k\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjen t\u00ebnde, Ridi, m\u00eb iku dhe m\u00ebrzia q\u00eb ndjeja pak m\u00eb par\u00eb. \u00cbsht\u00eb e qart\u00eb: ashtu si \u00e7do organ tjet\u00ebr, edhe truri q\u00eb t\u00eb ndihet mir\u00eb, ka nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb punoj\u00eb. Boshll\u00ebk nuk ka dhe, si\u00e7 thot\u00eb populli, ose i fusim ne n\u00eb pun\u00eb organet, ose i fut \u201cshejtani\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" – I nderuar Dr. Demiri, ndoshta do t\u2019ju duket e \u00e7uditshme kjo letra ime, por e kam kuptuar sesa her\u00eb q\u00eb mendoj se s\u2019m\u00eb mungon asgj\u00eb, ndihem i r\u00ebn\u00eb moralisht. Si m\u00eb k\u00ebshilloni ju t\u00eb veproj? Si mund ta b\u00ebj balancimin e ndjenjave q\u00eb t\u00eb jem gjithmon\u00eb i lumtur? Me respekt, Ridi. Dr. Jashar […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11431","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11431","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11431"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11431\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11431"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11431"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11431"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}