{"id":11362,"date":"2015-12-11T11:30:43","date_gmt":"2015-12-11T10:30:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=11362"},"modified":"2015-12-10T12:33:42","modified_gmt":"2015-12-10T11:33:42","slug":"nena-u-grind-me-nusen-e-iku-nga-shtepia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2015\/12\/nena-u-grind-me-nusen-e-iku-nga-shtepia\/","title":{"rendered":"N\u00ebna u grind me nusen e iku nga sht\u00ebpia"},"content":{"rendered":"

– I nderuar psikolog, kam nj\u00eb problem dhe po ju shprehem me pak fjal\u00eb. Jam i martuar dhe pres f\u00ebmij\u00eb. N\u00ebna ime nuk arriti t\u00eb shkonte mir\u00eb me nusen dhe iku nga sht\u00ebpia. Vajti n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi n\u00eb fshat bashk\u00eb me plakun dhe tani, un\u00eb nuk di se kujt t\u2019ia prish e kujt t\u2019ia ndreq. Jam n\u00eb nj\u00eb hall t\u00eb madh e m\u00eb duket sikur do t\u00eb m\u00eb shaj\u00eb edhe opinioni. Si m\u00eb k\u00ebshilloni t\u00eb veproj? Me respekt, Ismaili.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> – I nderuar let\u00ebrshkrues, edhe pse letra jote \u00ebsht\u00eb e shkurt\u00ebr, un\u00eb ta kuptoj hallin, pasi ti je n\u00eb mes t\u00eb dy njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb dashur; n\u00ebn\u00ebs, e cila edhe sipas fes\u00eb vjen direkt pas Zotit dhe gruas, nuses t\u00ebnde shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb e cila sigurisht q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb si gjysma jote, aq m\u00eb tep\u00ebr tani q\u00eb ti pret f\u00ebmij\u00eb. N\u00eb k\u00ebto kushte, as mentari apo politikani m\u00eb i shquar i bot\u00ebs nuk do ta kishte t\u00eb leht\u00eb. Megjithat\u00eb, n\u00ebna jote, me siguri i ka kuptuar dilemat e mosmarr\u00ebveshjet dhe n\u00eb pamund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr ta \u201cpranuar\u201d nj\u00ebra-tjetr\u00ebn, ashtu si\u00e7 jan\u00eb ajo e ka gjetur vet\u00eb zgjidhjen duke ikur nga qyteti e duke vajtur t\u00eb dy plak e plak\u00eb n\u00eb fshat. Un\u00eb nuk e di se sa vje\u00e7 jan\u00eb prind\u00ebrit e tu, por mos harro se n\u00eb nj\u00eb apartament ku ju banoni t\u00eb gjith\u00eb s\u00eb bashku, as jeni t\u00eb lirsh\u00ebm, por edhe ata ndihen si t\u00eb mbyllur n\u00eb nj\u00eb kafaz dhe n\u00eb kushtet e ngusht\u00ebsis\u00eb e t\u00eb kot\u00ebsis\u00eb, patjet\u00ebr q\u00eb sherre do t\u00eb lindin me boll\u00ebk, sikur edhe nusja jote t\u00eb ishte vajza e tyre. As nuk e di se \u00e7far\u00eb \u201crace\u201d \u00ebsht\u00eb nusja jote, pasi ka edhe pak raca \u201cpsikovampiresh\u201d q\u00eb vet\u00ebm gjejn\u00eb gj\u00ebra p\u00ebr t\u00eb faj\u00ebsuar t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, p\u00ebr t\u2019u qar\u00eb e p\u00ebr t\u2019u m\u00ebrzitur, pra, q\u00eb nuk u gjendet karari. Disa e kan\u00eb si qejf q\u00eb t\u00eb \u201cg\u00ebrricen\u201d e t\u00eb trazojn\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt dhe vet\u00eb t\u00eb dalin si pa u \u201clagur\u201d, ve\u00e7se ta din\u00eb k\u00ebta se n\u00ebse nuk shkojn\u00eb mir\u00eb me njer\u00ebzit e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb, mbi 50 % t\u00eb fajit duhet ta k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb te vetja. \u00cbsht\u00eb i njohur sa vet\u00eb njer\u00ebzimi konflikti nuse-vjehrr\u00eb dhe t\u00eb mos ia hyjm\u00eb k\u00ebtij diskutimi sepse do t\u00eb mbetemi \u201cbrenda\u201d. Ajo q\u00eb mund t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb djali n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb mes \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb fleksib\u00ebl dhe \u201camortizator\u201d i mir\u00eb, me q\u00ebllim q\u00eb edhe nusja t\u00eb mos ndjehet si e \u201chuaj\u201d n\u00eb at\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, por edhe n\u00ebna t\u00eb mos ndjehet si e \u201cp\u00ebrjashtuar\u201d, aq m\u00eb tep\u00ebr n\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00ebsuar q\u00eb t\u00eb punoj\u00eb shum\u00eb e t\u00eb ndjehet si violin\u00eb e par\u00eb. Un\u00eb e shoh si ndonj\u00eb hata vajtjen e prind\u00ebrve n\u00eb fshat, atje ku \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr ta puna dhe prodhimi i t\u00eb mirave materiale, por do t\u00eb ishte fatale n\u00ebse ju nuk u vini atyre n\u00eb ndihm\u00eb atje ku jan\u00eb, duke u vajtur e plot\u00ebsuar nevojat po t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb pafuqish\u00ebm, deri duke u paguar nj\u00eb punonj\u00ebse sht\u00ebpiake, pra, duke i b\u00ebr\u00eb q\u00eb ata t\u2019i marr\u00eb malli p\u00ebr ju e juve gjithashtu t\u2019ju marr\u00eb malli p\u00ebr ta. P\u00ebr ne psikolog\u00ebt, malli \u00ebsht\u00eb treguesi i dashuris\u00eb dhe nj\u00eb mat\u00ebs i pagabuesh\u00ebm i saj. Sa p\u00ebr opinionin, un\u00eb nuk dua t\u2019ia di. Andej nga an\u00ebt tuaja thon\u00eb se \u201cfjal\u00ebt e hallkut e vrimat e gardhit nuk mbyllen kurr\u00eb\u201d. Un\u00eb kam n\u00ebn\u00ebn time 84 vje\u00e7are t\u00eb cil\u00ebn e p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndes sepse e dua shum\u00eb p\u00ebr gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb ajo ka b\u00ebr\u00eb, por edhe p\u00ebr faktin se te nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi 3 kat\u00ebshe q\u00eb kemi n\u00eb Fush\u00eb-Kruj\u00eb, organizon \u00e7do vit n pun\u00ebt e bah\u00e7es brenda avllis\u00eb rreth 3 dynym\u00eb dhe \u00e7do vit ne mrekullohemi aty me frutat, perimet pa mbarim, si dhe me lulet lloj-lloj ngjyrash q\u00eb gjen aty, aq sa ka krijuar aty nj\u00eb parajs\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ne v\u00ebllez\u00ebrit e motrat q\u00eb mblidhen sidomos n\u00eb muajt e ver\u00ebs, kur njer\u00ebzit vijn\u00eb nga emigracioni.<\/p>\n

– \u00cbsht\u00eb e habitshme se \u00e7far\u00eb e motivon n\u00ebn\u00ebn time e cila mezi pret t\u00eb kaloj\u00eb dimri te sht\u00ebpit\u00eb tona n\u00eb kryeqytet ose te v\u00ebllez\u00ebrit n\u00eb Itali dhe t\u00eb vij\u00eb bashk\u00eb me pranver\u00ebn si ato dall\u00ebndyshet e t\u2019ia hyj\u00eb pun\u00ebs me shum\u00eb zell, aq sa \u00e7uditet edhe lagjja e fshatit Hasan n\u00eb Fush\u00eb-Kruj\u00eb, aq sa edhe e kan\u00eb quajtur \u201cN\u00ebna e t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve\u201d. Po t\u00eb shihni se si varen rrusht\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebr pem\u00eb, kungujt, kastravecat, lulet e gjith\u00e7ka deri n\u00eb katin e tret\u00eb t\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb, nuk do ta besoni q\u00eb ato i b\u00ebn \u00e7do vit nj\u00eb 84 vje\u00e7are q\u00eb nuk do t\u2019ia dij\u00eb as p\u00ebr pleq\u00ebrin\u00eb, as p\u00ebr moshataret e saj t\u00eb cilat t\u00eb \u201csqullura\u201d nga papun\u00ebsia, prej vitesh flen\u00eb mbi divane ose atje n\u00eb \u201cbot\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr\u201d. Do t\u00eb doja q\u00eb ta nxirrja n\u00eb nj\u00eb televizion n\u00ebn\u00ebn time Selvie Demirin e cila me ato q\u00eb b\u00ebn, do t\u00eb \u00e7udiste shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz q\u00eb i mbajn\u00eb tokat djerr\u00eb e sht\u00ebpit\u00eb bosh. T\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn fraz\u00eb fal\u00ebnderuese kam edhe p\u00ebr prind\u00ebrit tuaj, i nderuar let\u00ebrshkrues, n\u00ebse ata kan\u00eb shkuar n\u00eb fshat p\u00ebr dy t\u00eb mira: edhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos ndezur m\u00eb tej shk\u00ebndija inati e zem\u00ebrimi, por edhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb prodhuar t\u00eb mira materiale. Jam i bindur se sh\u00ebndeti dhe jet\u00ebgjat\u00ebsia e n\u00ebn\u00ebs sime lidhet me pun\u00ebn, pasi tani n\u00eb Amerik\u00eb edhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00ebt me depresion po aplikohet ajo q\u00eb quhet \u201ckura e gjelb\u00ebr\u201d, pra, pun\u00eb me bim\u00ebt n\u00ebp\u00ebr fusha apo n\u00eb ferma. Nuk ka si toka, ajo pastron dhe sh\u00ebron gjith\u00e7ka, tek ajo gjenden t\u00eb gjitha ato q\u00eb i duhen jet\u00ebs njer\u00ebzore. Prometeu e humbi fuqin\u00eb vet\u00ebm kur ia shk\u00ebput\u00ebn thembrat nga toka. Tani, i nderuar let\u00ebrshkrues, mos harro parimin e diplomacis\u00eb, sipas Napoleonit: Edhe n\u00ebna me disa f\u00ebmij\u00eb, kur blen nj\u00eb past\u00eb, e ndan at\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb barabart\u00eb, por e rrotullon dhe ua jep f\u00ebmij\u00ebve n\u00eb at\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i duket sikur atij i dha m\u00eb t\u00eb madhen e m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00ebn. Mos u \u00e7udit, \u201cdiplomacia\u201d deri k\u00ebtu futet dhe n\u00eb qoft\u00eb se nusen ti e ke zem\u00ebr, edhe ajo e di k\u00ebt\u00eb. Edhe n\u00ebn\u00ebn, ti e ke shpirt dhe ajo duhet q\u00eb ta dij\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb. Tani, m\u00eb l\u00ebr t\u2019i jap ca k\u00ebshilla nuses t\u00ebnde e cila si e re q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb, m\u00eb kupton m\u00eb mir\u00eb, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb \u201cdruri i vjet\u00ebr\u201d mundet q\u00eb nuk ha fort \u201cpyk\u00eb\u201d. Do t\u00eb doja t\u2019i kujtoja asaj nja 10 k\u00ebshilla q\u00eb i ka dh\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebr grat\u00eb familjare Karmen Silva, Mbret\u00ebresha e Rumanis\u00eb (1843-1916).<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Mos hap grindje edhe sikur t\u00eb t\u00eb jepet papritur shkak, ruaj qet\u00ebsin\u00eb se do t\u00eb dal\u00ebsh m\u00eb e fituar.<\/li>\n
  2. Mos harro se je martuar te Njeriu e jo te Per\u00ebndia, prandaj mos u habit me huqet njer\u00ebzore.<\/li>\n
  3. Mos k\u00ebrko nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt m\u00eb tep\u00ebr se sa kan\u00eb ata fuqin\u00eb.<\/li>\n
  4. Rruga p\u00ebr te zemra kalon nga barku, stomaku, prandaj gatuaj mir\u00eb se do t\u2019ia zaptosh burrit zemr\u00ebn.<\/li>\n
  5. Jepi r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi burrit, kujdesu q\u00eb t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb mendimi i tij dhe kjo t\u00eb lart\u00ebson edhe ty e nuk t\u00eb d\u00ebmton.<\/li>\n
  6. Lexo \u00e7do gj\u00eb t\u00ebrheq\u00ebse p\u00ebr familjen dhe jo vet\u00ebm romancat e skandalit, m\u00ebso nga p\u00ebsimi i t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve.<\/li>\n
  7. Edhe n\u00eb grindjen m\u00eb t\u00eb rrept\u00eb, s\u2019duhet t\u00eb l\u00ebndosh t\u00ebt shoq e njer\u00ebzit e tij as me fjal\u00eb.<\/li>\n
  8. Gjithnj\u00eb b\u00ebja qejfin burrit dhe i thuaj se s\u2019ka nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr burr\u00eb si ai. Po ashtu, poho se ti mund t\u00eb kesh t\u00eb meta.<\/li>\n
  9. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se yt shoq \u00ebsht\u00eb i zgjuar, b\u00ebhu shoqe e tij. Po t\u00eb jet\u00eb i pamend, t\u00eb jesh mike dhe k\u00ebshilltare e tij.<\/li>\n
  10. Nderoje sidomos n\u00ebn\u00ebn e burrit, mos harro se ai, at\u00eb ka dashur m\u00eb par\u00eb. Besoj se u kuptuam… Tani, ju uroj lindje t\u00eb leht\u00eb t\u00eb bebit dhe ribashkim festiv me prind\u00ebrit tuaj, kur t\u00eb vij\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00eb pasardh\u00ebsi.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    – I nderuar psikolog, kam nj\u00eb problem dhe po ju shprehem me pak fjal\u00eb. Jam i martuar dhe pres f\u00ebmij\u00eb. N\u00ebna ime nuk arriti t\u00eb shkonte mir\u00eb me nusen dhe iku nga sht\u00ebpia. Vajti n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi n\u00eb fshat bashk\u00eb me plakun dhe tani, un\u00eb nuk di se kujt t\u2019ia prish e kujt t\u2019ia ndreq. Jam […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11362","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11362"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11362\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11362"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11362"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11362"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}