{"id":11273,"date":"2015-12-03T17:30:06","date_gmt":"2015-12-03T16:30:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=11273"},"modified":"2015-12-03T12:45:00","modified_gmt":"2015-12-03T11:45:00","slug":"kam-frike-nga-shume-gjera","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2015\/12\/kam-frike-nga-shume-gjera\/","title":{"rendered":"Kam frik\u00eb nga shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>&#8211; Jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb 21 vje\u00e7e q\u00eb vuaj nga ankthi. Nuk e di se kur ka filluar, por di t\u00eb them q\u00eb po r\u00ebndohem \u00e7do dit\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb. Mbase nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb normale, por un\u00eb kam shum\u00eb frik\u00eb nga vet\u00ebtimat. N\u00eb momentet kur fillon t\u00eb prishet koha, mua m\u00eb shtohen rrahjet e zemr\u00ebs, m\u00eb trazohet stomaku, m\u00eb humbin fuqit\u00eb, m\u00eb djersiten duart dhe e p\u00ebrjetoj shum\u00eb keq. Dua t\u00eb strukem n\u00eb nj\u00eb dhom\u00eb t\u00eb err\u00ebt e t\u00eb mos d\u00ebgjoj asgj\u00eb. Por kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e vetmja frik\u00eb e imja. Para nj\u00eb viti, n\u00eb zon\u00ebn ku un\u00eb jetoj, ka r\u00ebn\u00eb nj\u00eb t\u00ebrmet shum\u00eb i fuqish\u00ebm. Ajo ishte hera e par\u00eb q\u00eb un\u00eb ndjeva nj\u00eb t\u00ebrmet, por nuk mbaroi aty. \u00c7do nat\u00eb para se t\u00eb fle, e kam t\u00eb pamundur t\u00eb mos mendoj p\u00ebr at\u00eb t\u00ebrmet, sikur do t\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebritet. Edhe p\u00ebr gj\u00ebrat m\u00eb t\u00eb vogla trembem dhe filloj t\u00eb ndjej ankth. Koh\u00ebt e fundit, gjendja vet\u00ebm po r\u00ebndohet, me zor m\u00eb z\u00eb gjumi p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb k\u00ebtyre mendimeve, por ka edhe raste kur m\u00eb del gjumi nat\u00ebn dhe nuk e shmang dot mendimin p\u00ebr to. E di shum\u00eb mir\u00eb q\u00eb jan\u00eb dukuri natyrore dhe nuk mund t\u00eb shmangen, por prap\u00eb nuk arrij ta qet\u00ebsoj veten dhe t\u00eb sillem normalisht, si gjith\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. M\u00eb duket sikur un\u00eb apo personat e mi t\u00eb dashur do t\u00eb vdesin nga kjo gj\u00eb. Shpeshher\u00eb, mendoj se po \u00e7mendem. Nuk arrij ta p\u00ebrballoj dot m\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje. Ju lutem, m\u00eb ndihmoni.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em><u>Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> &#8211; V\u00ebrtet frik\u00ebrat, fobit\u00eb e ankthi nuk jan\u00eb s\u00ebmundje, por ti vajz\u00eb po vuan prej tyre si t\u00eb jesh e s\u00ebmur\u00eb e ndoshta ca m\u00eb keq. Ty t\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb prishur cil\u00ebsia e jet\u00ebs dhe ndihesh e lodhur, e k\u00ebputur, pa gjum\u00eb e pa humor, nj\u00eblloj sikur bota do t\u00eb p\u00ebrmbyset mbi ty. V\u00ebrtet askush nuk ka vdekur nga frika, por si\u00e7 thot\u00eb populli n\u00eb kuptimin figurativ, \u201ctrimi vdes nj\u00eb her\u00eb, kurse frikacaku nj\u00eb mij\u00eb her\u00eb\u201d. P\u00ebr t\u00eb qeshur e p\u00ebr t\u00eb qar\u00eb&#8230; Megjithat\u00eb, mos u m\u00ebrzit, pasi ankthi jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb s\u00ebmundje, por ai \u00ebsht\u00eb 100 % i trajtuesh\u00ebm, vet\u00ebm se ty t\u00eb duhet nj\u00eb lloj \u201ckursi\u201d q\u00eb e ka emrin terapi psikologjike ose psikoterapi, p\u00ebr ta njohur e menaxhuar at\u00eb. Edhe fobit\u00eb, jan\u00eb vet\u00ebm si sjellje e m\u00ebsuar n\u00eb saje t\u00eb ngacmuesve specifik\u00eb, pra, jan\u00eb si nj\u00eb \u201cgrop\u00eb\u201d q\u00eb bie avash-avash e si pa e kuptuar, aq sa edhe vet\u00eb e kupton se frik\u00ebrat jan\u00eb absurde e gati qesharake, por po ashtu, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb qesharake e ndjen se nuk del dot nga \u201cgropa\u201d. Me sa kuptoj un\u00eb, ti vajz\u00eb vuan nga reagime q\u00eb quhen \u201ckurth paniku\u201d ose marifet paniku, pra, \u201chile paniku. Si\u00e7 e sheh, me pak fjal\u00eb, v\u00ebrehet \u201cmashtrimi\u201d pra, trupi vihet n\u00eb alarm kot n\u00eb veprime nga nj\u00eb rrezik imagjinar duke vepruar sikur ato t\u00eb ishin t\u00eb v\u00ebrteta, edhe kur nuk ka ndonj\u00eb rrezik real. Mbaj mend, kur ishim t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl, ne trembeshim tmerr\u00ebsisht nga gj\u00ebmimet e bubullimat dhe m\u2019u desh nj\u00eb shpjegim i babait p\u00ebr vet\u00ebtim\u00ebn, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos trembesha m\u00eb. Ai m\u00eb tregoi se vet\u00ebtima bie diku larg, kushedi se ku, por shpejt\u00ebsia e drit\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb aq e madhe dhe k\u00ebtu te ne na vjen shpejt. Kur neve na vjen zhurma, ajo s\u2019ka asnj\u00eb rrezik, pasi ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb thjesht nj\u00eb jehon\u00eb z\u00ebri. Filluam pastaj t\u2019i shihnim me qejf vet\u00ebtimat dhe i prisnim krejt t\u00eb qet\u00eb zhurmat, gj\u00ebmimet edhe pse t\u00eb \u201ctmerrshme\u201d, gati shurdhuese. Nd\u00ebr shpjegimet q\u00eb m\u00eb vlejt\u00ebn ishte se v\u00ebtetimat bien mbi lart\u00ebsit\u00eb, mbi rrufeprit\u00ebset e mbi objektet e hekurit, ndaj ato neve na mbrojn\u00eb pasi vet\u00eb Krijuesi e ka menduar k\u00ebt\u00eb, si i pagabuesh\u00ebm p\u00ebr gjith\u00e7ka. Dikush ka frik\u00eb magjit\u00eb, mir\u00ebpo nj\u00eb besimtar i v\u00ebrtet\u00eb nuk i ka hi\u00e7 frik\u00eb pasi ai me bindje t\u00eb thot\u00eb se asgj\u00eb nuk ndodh, as edhe nj\u00eb gjethe peme nuk bie, pa e lejuar Zoti. Normalisht, \u00e7do t\u00ebrmet \u00ebsht\u00eb i friksh\u00ebm, por ne nuk futemi te zonat e forta sizmike, se, \u00e7\u2019duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebnin vall\u00eb japonez\u00ebt e \u201cshkret\u00eb\u201d t\u00eb cil\u00ebt jan\u00eb m\u00ebsuar q\u00eb t\u00eb l\u00ebkunden nga t\u00ebrmetet m\u00eb shum\u00eb sesa n\u00eb kolovajza? K\u00ebto frik\u00ebrat e tua, n\u00eb gjuh\u00ebn popullore quhen vesvese e ato jan\u00eb trajtuar edhe n\u00eb librat fetar\u00eb.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; K\u00ebtu kam nj\u00eb lib\u00ebr i cili tregon se kur ke frik\u00eb, Jezusi t\u00eb thot\u00eb: \u201cMos kij frik\u00eb, sepse un\u00eb jam me ty, mos e humb sepse jam un\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mbroj, un\u00eb t\u00eb forcoj dhe nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht t\u00eb ndihmoj, t\u00eb mbaj n\u00eb dor\u00ebn e djatht\u00eb t\u00eb mbrojtjes e drejt\u00ebsis\u00eb sime\u201d. (Isaia 41:10). Po ashtu, n\u00eb nj\u00eb lib\u00ebr t\u00eb fes\u00eb islame shkruhet se shkak p\u00ebr k\u00ebto lloj frik\u00ebrash (vesvesesh) b\u00ebhet \u201cshejtani, i cili p\u00ebrpiqet q\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb krijoj\u00eb dyshime duke t\u00eb kujtuar gjith\u00e7far\u00eb gj\u00ebrash q\u00eb kan\u00eb ndodhur, q\u00eb nga m\u00eb t\u00eb voglat e deri te t\u00eb m\u00ebdhat\u00eb. Kjo gj\u00eb mjekohet: duke i kthyer shpin\u00ebn vesvesit dhe me besim te Zoti e te vetja, duke u marr\u00eb me pun\u00eb t\u00eb dobishme, duke u shkuar p\u00ebr vizita njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb mir\u00eb, farefisit etj. Shto k\u00ebtu edhe mjekimin fizik, si duke shtuar l\u00ebvizjet p\u00ebr t\u00eb larguar p\u00ebrtacin\u00eb etj.\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Si\u00e7 e kupton, e nderuara 21 vje\u00e7are, k\u00ebto frik\u00ebra jan\u00eb vet\u00ebm mendime dhe mendimet mund t\u00eb ndryshohen. Gjithkujt i vijn\u00eb n\u00eb mendje mendime t\u00eb tilla frik\u00ebsuese, por nuk p\u00ebrqendrohen n\u00eb to, pra, nuk u japin atyre r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi sepse sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb trembesh e t\u00eb p\u00ebrqendrohesh tek ato, aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb fuqi t\u00eb marrin ato. Ato nuk i prodhon mendja, pasi mendimet nuk jan\u00eb mendja, ato ty t\u00eb vijn\u00eb, por ajo q\u00eb ne b\u00ebjm\u00eb t\u00eb gabuar \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrqendrimi yn\u00eb tek ato. Dikush p\u00ebr shembull ka frik\u00eb vdekjen dhe nuk e heq k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb nga mendja. Le t\u00eb shtrojm\u00eb pyetjen: Frika ndihmon jet\u00ebn apo vdekjen? Jo, frika nuk e ndihmon jet\u00ebn. At\u00ebher\u00eb hiqe at\u00eb me nd\u00ebrgjegje t\u00eb plot\u00eb. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb arsyeja se pse vet\u00ebm 2 % e 65 vje\u00e7ar\u00ebve e lart kan\u00eb frik\u00eb nga vdekja, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb gati \u00e7ereku i 20 vje\u00e7ar\u00ebve kan\u00eb shum\u00eb frik\u00eb prej saj. Kur un\u00eb i pyes pse ndodh k\u00ebshtu, ata m\u00eb thon\u00eb nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje p\u00ebr t\u00eb qeshur, se 65 vje\u00e7ar\u00ebt e kan\u00eb \u201ckullotur\u201d jet\u00ebn, pra, kan\u00eb jetuar.<\/p>\n<p>Jo, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb ashtu, se jeta n\u00eb fund t\u00eb saj \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe m\u00eb e \u00e7muar, edhe m\u00eb e dashur, por kjo vjen sepse nj\u00eb mendje me p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb dhe e \u201cst\u00ebrvitur\u201d nuk i \u201cha\u201d gj\u00ebrat q\u00eb i prishin pun\u00eb, nd\u00ebr to, edhe mendimet frik\u00ebsuese e katastrofizuese. Ti, vajza 21 vje\u00e7are, ke p\u00ebsuar ndoshta \u201ctrauma\u201d dhe ato q\u00eb ke p\u00ebrjetuar nuk t\u00eb rip\u00ebrpunohen nga truri, por imazhet e tyre mbeten t\u00eb \u201cgjalla\u201d n\u00eb kujtes\u00eb e t\u00eb krijojn\u00eb k\u00ebto sisteme alarmi, t\u00eb cilat tentojn\u00eb t\u00eb kthehen n\u00eb kronike. Duke qen\u00eb ato nj\u00eb sjellje e m\u00ebsuar dhe refleks i keq, ashtu si\u00e7 m\u00ebsohen, ashtu edhe \u00e7m\u00ebsohen. Raste t\u00eb trajtimit t\u00eb frik\u00ebrave, fobive e ankthit me psikoterapi n\u00eb praktik\u00ebn time kam me qindra dhe t\u00eb gjitha kan\u00eb qen\u00eb t\u00eb suksesshme. Suksesi k\u00ebtu nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb personal, por sepse ato jan\u00eb tep\u00ebr t\u00eb trajtueshme. Fillimi i sh\u00ebrimit \u00ebsht\u00eb trokitja te psikoterapeuti.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; Jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb 21 vje\u00e7e q\u00eb vuaj nga ankthi. Nuk e di se kur ka filluar, por di t\u00eb them q\u00eb po r\u00ebndohem \u00e7do dit\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb. Mbase nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb normale, por un\u00eb kam shum\u00eb frik\u00eb nga vet\u00ebtimat. N\u00eb momentet kur fillon t\u00eb prishet koha, mua m\u00eb shtohen rrahjet e zemr\u00ebs, m\u00eb trazohet [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11273","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11273","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11273"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11273\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}