{"id":11193,"date":"2015-11-26T13:33:58","date_gmt":"2015-11-26T12:33:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=11193"},"modified":"2015-11-26T13:33:58","modified_gmt":"2015-11-26T12:33:58","slug":"me-duket-sikur-me-gjykojne","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2015\/11\/me-duket-sikur-me-gjykojne\/","title":{"rendered":"M\u00eb duket sikur m\u00eb gjykojn\u00eb"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>&#8211; Dr. Demiri po ju shkruaj sepse kam v\u00ebrtet nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr ndihm\u00ebn tuaj. Jam 19 vje\u00e7e dhe studioj p\u00ebr Mjek\u00ebsi. T\u00eb m\u00eb falni q\u00eb do t\u2019ju shkruaj pak gjat\u00eb, por dua ta kuptoni sa m\u00eb qart\u00eb gjendjen time. E vras shum\u00eb mendjen p\u00ebr opinionin e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, p\u00ebr shembull, kur nuk marr 10 n\u00eb provim, mendoj sikur t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt do thon\u00eb \u201ckjo nuk m\u00ebson\u201d, kur nj\u00eb gj\u00eb e till\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb absurde se gjithmon\u00eb kam qen\u00eb nj\u00eb nga nx\u00ebn\u00ebset m\u00eb t\u00eb mira. Sikur nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb pa t\u00eb keq t\u00eb ma thot\u00eb dikush, e mbaj mendjen aty gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn dhe duhet nj\u00eb koh\u00eb e caktuar q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb kaloj\u00eb ose p\u00ebr shembull, takoj shoqet n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes dhe n\u00ebse nj\u00ebra nuk ma var e nuk m\u00eb thot\u00eb \u201cmir\u00ebm\u00ebngjes\u201d, filloj t\u00eb mendoj: \u201cpo kjo \u00e7far\u00eb ka\u201d etj. etj. Ndoshta dua t\u00eb jem n\u00eb qend\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebmendjes, nuk e di. Kur b\u00ebj nj\u00eb veprim, mendoj se \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb b\u00ebnte X n\u00eb vendin tim dhe ky X mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb shoqja ime t\u00eb cil\u00ebn e shikoj q\u00eb e p\u00eblqejn\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb shoq\u00ebri. I st\u00ebrholloj kaq shum\u00eb gj\u00ebrat q\u00eb m\u00eb ndodhin saq\u00eb edhe di\u00e7kaje t\u00eb p\u00ebrkryer do t\u2019i gjej nj\u00eb cen patjet\u00ebr. Jam b\u00ebr\u00eb shum\u00eb paranojake, m\u00eb duket sikur t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt ndryshe sillen e ndryshe mendojn\u00eb, kur nuk kam nj\u00eb arsye specifike dhe kjo m\u00eb shqet\u00ebson. Jan\u00eb iluzionet e mia ndoshta? Jam nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr e bukur, studente e mir\u00eb, e qeshur, energjike e t\u00eb gjith\u00eb m\u00eb duan, e kompletuar dhe askush nuk do ta besonte se un\u00eb kam shkruar nj\u00eb let\u00ebr t\u00eb till\u00eb. Ka raste kur mendoj sikur do t\u00eb m\u00eb largohen t\u00eb gjith\u00eb dhe nuk e kuptoj arsyen pse, sepse kam shum\u00eb shoqe q\u00eb m\u00eb rrethojn\u00eb dhe m\u00eb duket sikur n\u00eb mendjen e tyre fshehin mendime t\u00eb tjera p\u00ebr mua, sikur s\u2019kan\u00eb asnj\u00eb lloj interesi p\u00ebr mua, sikur do t\u00eb m\u00eb shp\u00ebrfillin e nuk do t\u00eb kem me k\u00eb t\u00eb rri. Jan\u00eb mendime aq pa baz\u00eb k\u00ebto t\u00eb miat, por edhe aq shqet\u00ebsuese, sa m\u00eb jan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb penges\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00eb. Dua t\u00eb p\u00ebrmend edhe faktin se shoqe kam plot q\u00eb m\u00eb rrethojn\u00eb, por nuk mund ta cil\u00ebsoj ndonj\u00ebr\u00ebn si \u201cshoqe t\u00eb ngusht\u00eb\u201d. Sa her\u00eb afrohem me ndonj\u00eb shoqe, b\u00ebhemi shum\u00eb me nj\u00ebra-tjetr\u00ebn dhe n\u00ebse v\u00eb re ndonj\u00eb gj\u00eb q\u00eb nuk m\u00eb p\u00eblqen, m\u00eb del nga zemra dhe nuk mundem m\u00eb ta vazhdoj shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb me t\u00eb, distancohem; nuk jam elastike. M\u00eb p\u00eblqen t\u00eb jem popullore e t\u00eb kem shoq\u00ebri t\u00eb zgjeruar, por me sa duket, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo \u00e7far\u00eb dua, jo \u00e7far\u00eb jam. N\u00eb dukje mund t\u00eb jem e till\u00eb, por brenda meje jam bosh n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb drejtim. Adoleshenc\u00ebn sikur po e p\u00ebrjetoj tani, n\u00eb universitet. Dua t\u00eb theksoj se k\u00ebt\u00eb problem nuk e kam pasur m\u00eb p\u00ebrpara, m\u00eb filloi n\u00eb universitet, n\u00eb vit t\u00eb par\u00eb. Kam folur shpesh edhe me prind\u00ebrit p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb problem e m\u00eb kan\u00eb ndihmuar goxha, por nuk ka zgjatur shum\u00eb fatkeq\u00ebsisht, ndryshimi ka qen\u00eb momental. M\u00eb falni p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb let\u00ebr t\u00eb rr\u00ebmujshme, por t\u00eb tilla jan\u00eb mendimet e mia, nuk i v\u00eb dot gishtin asaj \u00e7ka m\u00eb mungon. Uroj t\u00eb m\u00eb keni kuptuar sadopak, sepse disa k\u00ebshilla praktike nga ju do t\u00eb m\u00eb ndihmonin shum\u00eb. E ndiej se kam nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb dor\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb shtyj\u00eb ta kaloj k\u00ebt\u00eb siklet, n\u00ebse mund ta quaj t\u00eb till\u00eb. Faleminderit p\u00ebr koh\u00ebn tuaj. Nora.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em><u>Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> &#8211; E nderuar Nora, studente e Mjek\u00ebsis\u00eb! Do t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjem me respekt, e dashur, sepse do t\u00eb jesh kolegia jon\u00eb e ardhshme, por nuk do t\u00eb zem\u00ebrohesh sepse edhe pak \u201cdush\u201d t\u00eb ftoht\u00eb e ke hak. Ja, se pse: Ti ke vet\u00ebm disa \u00e7rregullime ankthi t\u00eb cilat jan\u00eb plot\u00ebsisht t\u00eb trajtueshme, pasi ankthioziteti s\u2019ka lidhje me s\u00ebmundjet dhe, n\u00eb mes t\u00eb letr\u00ebs, ti thua nj\u00eb \u201cfutja kot\u201d: \u201cjam b\u00ebr\u00eb paranojake\u201d. Paranojat dhe psikozat jan\u00eb s\u00ebmundje psikike, ndoshta edhe t\u00eb r\u00ebnda, kurse ti, je n\u00eb an\u00ebn e tyre t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt, je plot\u00ebsisht e nd\u00ebrgjegjshme se ndryshe nuk do t\u00eb na shkruaje dot as k\u00ebt\u00eb let\u00ebr. Ti e thua sakt\u00eb se k\u00ebto \u201cjan\u00eb iluzionet e mia\u201d, pra, e ke t\u00eb qart\u00eb se nuk ka njeri q\u00eb t\u00eb mos ket\u00eb iluzione. P\u00ebr ta kuptuar m\u00eb mir\u00eb ndryshimin e madh t\u00eb iluzioneve nga deluzionet lexo te gazeta \u201cIntervista\u201d n\u00eb internet nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje timen: \u201c\u00c7\u2019jan\u00eb deluzionet?\u201d dhe do t\u00eb bindesh. Ti duhet t\u2019i studiosh k\u00ebto gj\u00ebra sepse ato t\u00eb duhen jo vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr vete, por edhe sepse do t\u00eb b\u00ebhesh doktoresh\u00eb. Ti qenke nj\u00eb studente q\u00eb synon vet\u00ebm not\u00ebn dhjet\u00eb dhe n\u00eb rastin t\u00ebnd k\u00ebto do t\u2019i quaja, si\u00e7 thot\u00eb Skot Pek, \u201ckriza t\u00eb vogla\u201d, pa t\u00eb cilat nuk vjen pjekuria e madhe ose thuaj \u201cneuroza e braktisjes\u201d pasi ti po \u201cbraktis\u201d paditurin\u00eb dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebrin\u00eb. N\u00eb rastin t\u00ebnd, ankthi \u00ebsht\u00eb si ai \u201cm\u00ebsuesi i rrept\u00eb\u201d, por gjithsesi, ti m\u00ebson. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb vuajn\u00eb nga dob\u00ebsia e fleksibilitetit n\u00eb sistemin e reagimit, ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht moshat e reja krijojn\u00eb p\u00ebr hi\u00e7gj\u00eb ndjenjat e parehatis\u00eb, vet\u00ebfaj\u00ebsin\u00eb e d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimit, sidomos kur jan\u00eb t\u00eb mbizgjuar dhe t\u00eb mbindjesh\u00ebm. Gjithsesi, kjo gjendje e ky \u201calarm\u201d i brendsh\u00ebm duhet kontrolluar sepse nuk t\u00eb l\u00eb t\u00eb qet\u00eb, pra, t\u00eb prish cil\u00ebsin\u00eb e jet\u00ebs dhe ti i harxhon energjit\u00eb pa dobi. Po at\u00ebher\u00eb, \u00e7far\u00eb ke ti, ose \u00e7far\u00eb \u201cdiagnoze\u201d mund t\u00eb vendosim bazuar n\u00eb letr\u00ebn t\u00ebnde? Edhe pse doja t\u00eb t\u00eb kisha n\u00eb kolltukun e psikoanalistit e t\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebja shum\u00eb pyetje, p\u00ebrs\u00ebri besoj se me kaq sa tregon ti ke: 1. Ankth performance q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb, d\u00ebshir\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb kudo e p\u00ebr \u00e7do gj\u00eb p\u00ebrshtypje t\u00eb shk\u00eblqyera. 2. Ndjenj\u00ebn e sublimes, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb, d\u00ebshir\u00eb p\u00ebr p\u00ebrkryeshm\u00ebri, gj\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e pamundur, pasi njeriu nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb i pagabuesh\u00ebm, se po t\u00eb ishim t\u00eb pagabuesh\u00ebm e pa asnj\u00eb t\u00eb met\u00eb, s\u2019do t\u00eb kishim vend n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb planet! Njeriu s\u2019mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb si ai uji i distiluar i cili nuk b\u00ebn as p\u00ebr t\u2019u pir\u00eb se i mungojn\u00eb krip\u00ebrat, mineralet etj. T\u00eb dyja bashk\u00eb, ankthi i p\u00ebrformanc\u00ebs dhe ndjenja e sublimes t\u00eb krijojn\u00eb nj\u00eb t\u00eb \u201ctret\u00eb\u201d q\u00eb quhet dismorfobi e q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb parehati me veten, pasi ti k\u00ebrkon dhe gjen vet\u00ebm t\u00eb meta te vetja, ndaj edhe b\u00ebhesh \u201clexuese\u201d e keqe e mendjes s\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, pra, kujton ose beson se ata po i shohin si me lup\u00eb zmadhuese an\u00ebt e tua \u201cnegative\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>T\u00eb trija k\u00ebto t\u00eb krijojn\u00eb ato q\u00eb quhen \u00e7rregullime ankthi t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsuar, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se ty po t\u00eb b\u00ebhet si zakon i keq q\u00eb gjen di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr t\u2019u shqet\u00ebsuar dhe, edhe kur pun\u00ebt t\u00eb shkojn\u00eb shum\u00eb mir\u00eb e mbar\u00eb, ti shqet\u00ebsohesh p\u00ebr problemet e s\u00eb nes\u00ebrmes. Po t\u2019i shoh\u00ebsh ve\u00e7 e ve\u00e7 e po t\u00eb b\u00ebja \u201ctestin\u201d p\u00ebrkat\u00ebs p\u00ebr secilin nga 3 termat q\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrmenda, ato t\u00eb dalin t\u00eb lehta, t\u00eb kontrollueshme, pra, secila ve\u00e7 e ve\u00e7, nuk \u201cpeshojn\u00eb\u201d shum\u00eb, porse po t\u2019i marr\u00ebsh s\u00eb bashku ashtu si\u00e7 i ke ti, ato peshojn\u00eb shum\u00eb dhe ti, edhe pse nga jasht\u00eb je vajz\u00eb e bukur, e qeshur, studente shum\u00eb e mir\u00eb, model, nga \u201cbrenda\u201d ndjen parehati e palumturi dhe, si\u00e7 thua ti, askush nuk do ta besonte se pik\u00ebrisht ti e ke shkruar nj\u00eb let\u00ebr t\u00eb till\u00eb. Por, po t\u00eb m\u00eb pyes\u00ebsh mua q\u00eb m\u00eb kan\u00eb dal\u00eb thinjat duke shkruar p\u00ebr k\u00ebto leksione e libra e duke trajtuar shum\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb si ti, ankthi e stresi yt jan\u00eb jo vet\u00ebm t\u00eb lodhshme e munduese, por edhe pik\u00eblluese. Gjithsesi, \u00e7do e keqe e ka nj\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb nga prapa dhe lajm i mir\u00eb ishte se pasi trajtohen k\u00ebto probleme, ti jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb do t\u00eb \u00e7lirohesh prej tyre me an\u00eb t\u00eb dy lloje psikoterapish, t\u00eb njohjes e t\u00eb sjelljes, por do t\u00eb jesh si \u201cndonj\u00eb e vaksinuar\u201d psikologjikisht me aft\u00ebsit\u00eb reale p\u00ebr ta njohur, nd\u00ebrtuar e g\u00ebzuar jet\u00ebn. Pik\u00ebrisht p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb aryse, Skot Pek e ka quajtur psikoterapin\u00eb nj\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb madhe aq sa thot\u00eb \u201csi lum ai q\u00eb nevoja e \u00e7on tek ajo\u201d&#8230; Tani, meqen\u00ebse letra jote \u00ebsht\u00eb e gjat\u00eb, un\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb zgjatem.<\/p>\n<p>Ne psikolog\u00ebt themi dhe argumentojm\u00eb se ajo q\u00eb shkakton stres, nuk jan\u00eb aq ngjarjet apo ndodhit\u00eb n\u00eb vetvete, por mendimet tona p\u00ebr ndodhit\u00eb. P\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, na ndiqni n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjet n\u00eb numrat e ardhsh\u00ebm. Edhe di\u00e7ka: P\u00ebr gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb ke arritur e q\u00eb nuk jan\u00eb pak, \u00ebsht\u00eb plot\u00ebsisht merita jote dhe mbaj mend: Ti do t\u00eb jesh shum\u00eb e suksesshme n\u00eb jet\u00eb. Psikologia e talentuar nga Prishtina, Lumnie Telaku, ka argumentuar n\u00eb nj\u00eb publikim se \u00ebsht\u00eb ironike se m\u00eb t\u00eb pranuar nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt jan\u00eb ata t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk tregojn\u00eb ndonj\u00eb merak apo sforcim p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb, por q\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb qet\u00eb dhe ndihen vetvetja. M\u00eb p\u00eblqen m\u00ebnyra se si punon me klient\u00ebt kjo psikologe, duke i m\u00ebsuar ata q\u00eb t\u00eb mos merren me gj\u00ebra t\u00eb vogla, pasi p\u00ebrve\u00e7 sh\u00ebndetit, pun\u00ebs e profesionit, t\u00eb gjitha t\u00eb tjerat jan\u00eb t\u00eb vogla. Do t\u00eb vij\u00eb nj\u00eb dit\u00eb q\u00eb gjith\u00ebsecili nga shoq\u00ebria do t\u00eb ik\u00eb n\u00eb pun\u00eb t\u00eb vet, n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e vet&#8230; ato q\u00eb mbeten jan\u00eb diturit\u00eb dhe aft\u00ebsit\u00eb pa t\u00eb cilat jeta nuk b\u00ebhet e siguruar dhe as e suksesshme. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ti, studente e mjek\u00ebsis\u00eb, do t\u00eb b\u00ebhesh fjala vjen, nj\u00eb kirurge e suksesshme q\u00eb shp\u00ebton jet\u00eb njer\u00ebzore dhe familjare e mir\u00eb, k\u00ebtu \u201cp\u00ebrmblidhen\u201d mbi 90 % t\u00eb vlerave t\u00eb tua dhe ti do t\u00eb ndjehesh e \u00e7liruar nga ai \u201ckoni i err\u00ebt\u201d i ankthit social si nj\u00eb hi\u00e7gj\u00eb.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; Dr. Demiri po ju shkruaj sepse kam v\u00ebrtet nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr ndihm\u00ebn tuaj. Jam 19 vje\u00e7e dhe studioj p\u00ebr Mjek\u00ebsi. T\u00eb m\u00eb falni q\u00eb do t\u2019ju shkruaj pak gjat\u00eb, por dua ta kuptoni sa m\u00eb qart\u00eb gjendjen time. E vras shum\u00eb mendjen p\u00ebr opinionin e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, p\u00ebr shembull, kur nuk marr 10 n\u00eb provim, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11193","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11193","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11193"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11193\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11193"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11193"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11193"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}