13Mbase ju njihni ndonj\u00eb nga k\u00ebta burra, ose jeni edhe vet\u00eb nj\u00ebri prej atyre q\u00eb u thot\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve se gruaja e tyre \u00ebsht\u00eb e paarsyeshme dhe autoritare. Ata vijn\u00eb n\u00eb zyr\u00eb t\u00eb h\u00ebn\u00ebn n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes dhe, duke iu hapur goja, tregojn\u00eb se si “u jan\u00eb futur telasheve me gruan” gjat\u00eb fundjav\u00ebs. Ata tregojn\u00eb se gruaja e tyre u kontrollon \u00e7do l\u00ebvizje q\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb, aq sa, edhe kur shok\u00ebt i ftojn\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb kafe, ata psher\u00ebtijn\u00eb dhe thon\u00eb me z\u00eb t\u00eb shuar: “Prit t\u00eb shoh \u00e7far\u00eb planesh kemi”. Sistematikisht, ata krijojn\u00eb imazhin e nj\u00eb burri t\u00eb d\u00ebrrmuar n\u00ebn autoritetin e gruas. Sa ndryshe ishte dikur! Nj\u00eb brez m\u00eb par\u00eb, gj\u00ebja m\u00eb e keqe q\u00eb mund t\u00eb thuaje p\u00ebr nj\u00eb burr\u00eb ishte q\u00eb e urdh\u00ebronte gruaja! Cilado t\u00eb ishte e v\u00ebrteta q\u00eb mbret\u00ebronte brenda kat\u00ebr mureve t\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb, asnj\u00eb burr\u00eb nuk guxonte t’u thoshte shok\u00ebve dhe koleg\u00ebve se pantallonat n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi i mbante gruaja. Sigurisht, mund t\u00eb kishte ndonj\u00eb fjal\u00eb aty-k\u00ebtu, por ishin t\u00eb rrall\u00eb burrat q\u00eb donin t\u00eb krijonin imazhin e sh\u00ebrb\u00ebtorit n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi.<\/p>\n
Nd\u00ebrsa n\u00eb dit\u00ebt tona, ka burra q\u00eb u ankohen t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve se sa keq trajtohen n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Zakonisht, jan\u00eb burra t\u00eb klas\u00ebs s\u00eb mesme q\u00eb kan\u00eb arritur at\u00eb momentin simbolik n\u00eb jet\u00eb kur, gjith\u00eb keqardhje, kan\u00eb l\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb depo kitar\u00ebn e tyre akustike dhe, n\u00eb shoq\u00ebri me shok\u00ebt, denoncojn\u00eb partneren e tyre p\u00ebr tirani. K\u00ebta burra k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb medoemos t\u00eb krijojn\u00eb imazhin e nj\u00eb pasuesi t\u00eb bindur. Kam par\u00eb disa skenare shoq\u00ebrore ku \u00ebsht\u00eb zhvilluar nj\u00eb lloj gare: T\u00eb gjith\u00eb me radh\u00eb ankoheshin kush e kush m\u00eb par\u00eb se gruaja e tyre sillej si nj\u00eb lloj shefeje, posesive dhe g\u00ebrnjare.<\/p>\n
Sigurisht q\u00eb grat\u00eb nuk marrin pjes\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebto lloj bisedash, por pasi i takon, nuk t\u00eb duken shum\u00eb si ata despot\u00ebt e tmerrsh\u00ebm q\u00eb kan\u00eb p\u00ebrshkruar burrat e tyre! Si q\u00ebndron puna? N\u00ebse do t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjeshim aty p\u00ebr aty do t\u00eb thoshim se \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb pak\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi e grumbulluar nga burrat. N\u00eb koh\u00ebrat e sotme pritet q\u00eb ata t\u00eb jen\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb n\u00eb pun\u00ebt e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb dhe rritjen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, sesa para 20 vjet\u00ebve. Familja tani \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb pak patriarkale dhe m\u00eb e pavarur. Meq\u00eb shum\u00eb burrave kjo gj\u00eb nuk u p\u00eblqen, e teprojn\u00eb dhe ankohen or\u00eb e pa or\u00eb. Vini re edhe gjuh\u00ebn q\u00eb p\u00ebrdorin; gruaja p\u00ebrshkruhet me fjal\u00ebt “shefe”, apo “padrone”. Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb burrat lavd\u00ebrohen kur kan\u00eb personalitet t\u00eb fort\u00eb, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e nj\u00ebjta gj\u00eb p\u00ebr gruan, e cila n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast quhet me fjal\u00ebt “bose” dhe “autoritare”.<\/p>\n
Mbase grat\u00eb duhet t\u00eb tregohen pak m\u00eb t\u00eb buta me burrat e sot\u00ebm. Me ritmin q\u00eb po ndryshojn\u00eb gj\u00ebrat n\u00eb dit\u00ebt tona, burrat e mosh\u00ebs s\u00eb mesme jan\u00eb nj\u00eb brez-ur\u00eb lidh\u00ebse mes dy epokave: Asaj patriarkale t\u00eb baballar\u00ebve t\u00eb tyre dhe asaj m\u00eb liberale t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tyre. Ata q\u00eb thon\u00eb se i kan\u00eb grat\u00eb tirane (pa pasur t\u00eb drejt\u00eb), mbase po k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb shprehur ndjeshm\u00ebrin\u00eb dhe modernizimin e tyre, duke e th\u00ebn\u00eb me z\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb se si ndjehen p\u00ebr rolin e tyre n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb bot\u00eb t\u00eb re. Dhe, ata q\u00eb luajn\u00eb rolin e viktim\u00ebs, thjesht k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb nga tjetri m\u00eb shum\u00eb dashuri. \u00cbsht\u00eb ekuivalenti mashkull i femr\u00ebs tipike q\u00eb lavd\u00ebrohet p\u00ebr burrin e saj posesiv: “Oh, burri im pa gjith\u00eb zem\u00ebrim nj\u00ebrin q\u00eb m’i kishte ngulur syt\u00eb dhe tani ai ka p\u00ebr ta paguar!”.<\/p>\n
Por k\u00ebto psher\u00ebtima grash p\u00ebr burrat e tyre posesiv\u00eb jan\u00eb m\u00eb bind\u00ebse. N\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit, nj\u00eb ego e brisht\u00eb burri, e kombinuar me nj\u00eb sasi t\u00eb tepruar testosteroni, mund ta kthej\u00eb at\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb qenie paranojake dhe agresive. Megjithat\u00eb, nuk rrim\u00eb dot pa menduar se, ata burra q\u00eb ankohen p\u00ebr grat\u00eb e tyre posesive, mbase d\u00ebshirojn\u00eb q\u00eb ajo t\u00eb jet\u00eb v\u00ebrtet e till\u00eb. “Nuk m\u2019i heq syt\u00eb”, thot\u00eb nj\u00eb burr\u00eb p\u00ebr gruan e tij. Un\u00eb e kam takuar gruan e tij, ajo mezi pret t\u00eb rrij\u00eb nj\u00eb nat\u00eb vet\u00ebm! N\u00eb raste t\u00eb tjera ndodh e kund\u00ebrta. Nj\u00eb burr\u00eb q\u00eb ankohet se gruaja e tij sillet si dikatore brenda sht\u00ebpis\u00eb, mund t\u00eb shpresoj\u00eb q\u00eb ajo t\u00eb b\u00ebhet m\u00eb liberale dhe ta l\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb lir\u00eb (gj\u00eb q\u00eb ka pak gjasa t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb). K\u00ebshtu, pra, n\u00ebse edhe ju njihni ndonj\u00eb nga k\u00ebta burra-shpif\u00ebs, kini parasysh se \u00ebsht\u00eb di\u00e7ka e mir\u00eb fakti q\u00eb ata marrin n\u00eb konsiderat\u00eb ndjenjat e grave t\u00eb tyre dhe p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsit\u00eb prind\u00ebrore q\u00eb kan\u00eb. Do t\u00eb donim vet\u00ebm q\u00eb ata t’i shprehnin ndjenjat e tyre jo duke shar\u00eb grat\u00eb, t\u00eb cilat, nga ana e tyre, rrall\u00eb jan\u00eb ato tiranet dhe diktatoret q\u00eb p\u00ebrshkruhen nga burrat e tyre.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
13Mbase ju njihni ndonj\u00eb nga k\u00ebta burra, ose jeni edhe vet\u00eb nj\u00ebri prej atyre q\u00eb u thot\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve se gruaja e tyre \u00ebsht\u00eb e paarsyeshme dhe autoritare. Ata vijn\u00eb n\u00eb zyr\u00eb t\u00eb h\u00ebn\u00ebn n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes dhe, duke iu hapur goja, tregojn\u00eb se si “u jan\u00eb futur telasheve me gruan” gjat\u00eb fundjav\u00ebs. Ata tregojn\u00eb se […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":11044,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11043","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11043"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11043\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11044"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11043"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11043"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11043"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}