<\/p>\n
– S\u00eb pari, ju fal\u00ebnderoj p\u00ebr ndihm\u00ebn dhe p\u00ebrgjigjet tuaja. Jam nj\u00eb grua 31 vje\u00e7e, e martuar e me dy vajza si drita. Jam e pun\u00ebsuar dhe mundohem t\u2019i rris vajzat sa m\u00eb mir\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mundem. Problemi im \u00ebsht\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnia me bashk\u00ebshortin e me familjen e tij dhe pas 7 vitesh martes\u00eb, zhg\u00ebnjimi im nga jeta, dor\u00ebzimi dhe thjesht humbja e vullnetit p\u00ebr gjith\u00e7ka e t\u00eb mos them, e lumturis\u00eb. Kam pasur disa periudha shum\u00eb stresuese me lindjen e vajz\u00ebs s\u00eb par\u00eb, shum\u00eb keqtrajtime nga mamaja e bashk\u00ebshortit q\u00eb ka shkuar deri aty sa m\u00eb ka marr\u00eb vajz\u00ebn, me pretekstin se un\u00eb nuk di ta rris, ose se mos e mbysja at\u00eb. Kam vuajtur shum\u00eb dhe, edhe pse jetonim t\u00eb gjith\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, un\u00eb nuk guxoja ta prekja vajz\u00ebn, as ta vishja, as ta ushqeja, p\u00ebrve\u00e7se t\u2019i jepja gji. Edhe at\u00ebher\u00eb kur ajo e rrihte e bebja ime qante, un\u00eb vet\u00ebm e shikoja nga larg dhe qaja fshehurazi. Me koh\u00eb, pun\u00ebt ndryshuan. Duke luftuar gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb, e ktheva prap\u00eb, kujdesesha vet\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb, e mora vajz\u00ebn nga vjehrra q\u00eb t\u00eb flinte me mua dhe kjo ishte nj\u00eb fitore e madhe, por nj\u00eb dit\u00eb, nga pakujdesia e \u00e7astit, ndodhi fatkeq\u00ebsia m\u00eb e madhe p\u00ebr mua, m\u00eb ra vajza nga dritarja nga kati i dyt\u00eb, dometh\u00ebn\u00eb, nga 4 metra lart\u00ebsi, gj\u00eb q\u00eb rezultoi me paralizimin e saj. Fatmir\u00ebsisht, paraliza qe disaditore dhe, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos e zgjas shum\u00eb, vuajtjet e mia mund t\u2019i mendoni vet\u00eb. Ajo u sh\u00ebrua plot\u00ebsisht dhe sot \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb plot\u00ebsisht i sh\u00ebndetsh\u00ebm, por kjo plag\u00eb nuk u sh\u00ebrua n\u00eb shpirtin tim dhe un\u00eb e vuaj edhe sot e k\u00ebsaj dite. Me lindjen e vajz\u00ebs s\u00eb dyt\u00eb, askush nuk kishte interesim t\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebnte mua t\u00eb vuaja, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb e sidomos vjehrra ime e kishin kuptuar se t\u00eb ndash f\u00ebmijen nga n\u00ebna \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb gabim shum\u00eb i madh, prandaj me vajz\u00ebn e dyt\u00eb ia kalova shum\u00eb mir\u00eb, e rrisja me nj\u00eb p\u00ebrkushtim t\u00eb madh dhe doja t\u2019i ndjeja e p\u00ebrjetoja t\u00eb gjitha ato q\u00eb nuk kisha mundur t\u2019i p\u00ebrjetoja tek e madhja. M\u00eb duhet ta pranoj se p\u00ebrve\u00e7se ia d\u00ebshmova vetes se un\u00eb nuk jam aspak e paaft\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb rritur nj\u00eb bebe, nuk m\u00eb ndihmoi me ndonj\u00eb gj\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb. Vuajtjet nga ndarja e vajz\u00ebs n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb m\u00eb shkaktuan nj\u00eb traum\u00eb t\u00eb thell\u00eb, saq\u00eb edhe sot nuk ia dal dot t\u00eb p\u00ebrballem me k\u00ebt\u00eb, ndon\u00ebse vajza \u00ebsht\u00eb 6 vje\u00e7e. <\/strong>P\u00ebr gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb koh\u00eb, burri im ka mbetur t\u00ebr\u00ebsisht i painteresuar, asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk e kam ndjer\u00eb se mund t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr mua dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, por tani askush nuk mund t\u00eb m\u2019i rrah\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, edhe pse p\u00ebrs\u00ebri jetojm\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb bashk\u00eb. Un\u00eb thjesht e akuzoj bashk\u00ebshortin tim p\u00ebr gjith\u00e7ka, m\u00eb ka hipur n\u00eb kok\u00eb dhe dua t\u00eb divorcohem me t\u00eb. Ndonj\u00eb moment ndihem fajtore, por ai as sot e k\u00ebsaj dite nuk m\u00eb p\u00ebrkrah, nuk shkojm\u00eb mir\u00eb, zihemi shpesh, seksi \u00ebsht\u00eb katastrof\u00eb, m\u00eb akuzon dhe e akuzoj (mendoj se me shum\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb). I kam dh\u00ebn\u00eb shum\u00eb para, gjith\u00eb t\u00eb ardhurat, kredi, e kam duruar, ia kam duruar prind\u00ebrit t\u00eb cil\u00ebt kan\u00eb abuzuar me mua pa pik\u00eb faji. A nuk kam t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u2019i jap nj\u00eb m\u00ebsim t\u00eb mir\u00eb? Th\u00ebn\u00eb shkurt, dua ta b\u00ebj nj\u00eb gj\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb, por nuk mundem dhe p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb vuaj shum\u00eb. Pyetja ime \u00ebsht\u00eb: Si t\u2019ia dal n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje, pa dashuri, pa p\u00ebrkrahje, pa asnj\u00eb fjal\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb, me kritika t\u00eb nj\u00ebpasnj\u00ebshme, pa jet\u00eb normale? P\u00ebr gjith\u00e7ka n\u00eb jet\u00ebn time vendos vjehrra. M\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb sh\u00ebmtuar jeta p\u00ebrreth, m\u00eb duket se askush nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb keq se un\u00eb, askund nuk gjej bukuri apo lumturi. Frik\u00ebsohem nga ndonj\u00eb depresion q\u00eb m\u00eb troket. Nuk mundem m\u00eb, nuk dua m\u00eb t\u00eb luftoj, as fitoret nuk m\u00eb g\u00ebzojn\u00eb. Kam patur shum\u00eb \u00ebndrra, kam kryer fakultetin p\u00ebr Psikologji, por nuk kam mund\u00ebsi t\u00eb vazhdoj m\u00eb tutje. A duhet ta b\u00ebj jet\u00ebn time peng p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt? Me bashk\u00ebshortin tim as di, as mundem m\u00eb, nuk e kam iden\u00eb si ta kthej nga un\u00eb dhe t\u2019i them se ekzistoj un\u00eb dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. Kam shum\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb shkruar akoma, por e zgjata tep\u00ebr. Vuaj nga mospasja e vet\u00ebbesimit, mosvler\u00ebsimi i vetes, mospasja e guximit, mosrealizimi i vetes. Kam qen\u00eb te nj\u00eb psikolog p\u00ebr ndihm\u00eb, por jam aq e mbyllur sa nuk i kam treguar asgj\u00eb nga k\u00ebto q\u00eb kam shkruar n\u00eb let\u00ebr. Turp\u00ebrohem p\u00ebr gjith\u00eb gj\u00ebrat q\u00eb m\u00eb kan\u00eb ndodhur…<\/strong><\/p>\n Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> – E nderuara zonj\u00eb, mama e dy vajzave q\u00eb paske mbaruar p\u00ebr Psikologji, m\u00eb sakt\u00eb, e nderuara kolege! Mendoj se letra jote do t\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb interesante sesa p\u00ebrgjigjja ime, pasi ajo paraqet nj\u00eb dram\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb njer\u00ebzore, jo si ato traumat n\u00eb televizion apo telenovelat me shto uj\u00eb e shto miell, por me v\u00ebrtet\u00ebsi rr\u00ebnqeth\u00ebse, duke pasqyruar nj\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb c\u00ebnuar aq shum\u00eb sa, si\u00e7 thot\u00eb populli, \u201cky njeri \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr gjynah\u201d. Po e filloj p\u00ebrgjigjen me fundin e letr\u00ebs t\u00ebnde: Shum\u00eb mir\u00eb q\u00eb ke vajtur te nj\u00eb psikolog, pasi edhe vet\u00eb psikologu ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb psikolog, pasi si\u00e7 thuhet, sqepari nuk e gdhend dot bishtin e vet. Por, si ka mund\u00ebsi q\u00eb ti t\u00eb shkosh te psikologu e t\u00eb mos ia tregosh atij t\u00eb gjitha t\u00eb v\u00ebrtetat \u201clakuriq\u201d? Ti e di shum\u00eb mir\u00eb se asnj\u00eb psikolog n\u00eb bot\u00eb nuk e ka aft\u00ebsin\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb gjej\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb ka ndodhur, pa ia treguar ti vet\u00eb ato. Ti je vet\u00eb psikologe dhe e di q\u00eb ne nuk kemi ndonj\u00eb \u201cskaner\u201d ose \u201cEEG\u201d p\u00ebr t\u00eb par\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb ka shpirti yt brenda. K\u00ebto i them sepse m\u00eb ndodh edhe mua q\u00eb disa kliente q\u00eb vijn\u00eb te un\u00eb, shtiren sikur bashk\u00ebpunojn\u00eb dhe nuk hapen, ose tregojn\u00eb nj\u00eb problem gati an\u00ebsor p\u00ebr t\u00eb fshehur at\u00eb m\u00eb kryesorin, thjesht duan t\u00eb qahen sa p\u00ebr t\u2019u \u00e7liruar, por un\u00eb m\u00eb s\u00eb shumti i kuptoj dhe u them se un\u00eb dua t\u00eb di jo vet\u00ebm se ku fle lepuri, por edhe ku fle ai, \u201cariu\u201d. Madje, dje nj\u00eb zonje i thash\u00eb: \u201cTi e di se \u00e7do doktor ka b\u00ebr\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb quhet \u201cBetimi i Hipokratit\u201d, ndaj mos kij turp, por hapu ashtu si\u00e7 nuk duhej t\u00eb kishe aspak turp po t\u00eb zhvisheshe te nj\u00eb gjinekolog\u201d.Pra, ti psikologe, v\u00ebrtet paske vajtur te nj\u00eb psikolog, por kot sa ke harxhuar koh\u00ebn dhe parat\u00eb, pasi paske vepruar ngjash\u00ebm me vajtjen te gjinekologu duke k\u00ebrkuar t\u00eb vizitohesh pa u zhveshur. Me siguri, ti e ke kuptuar se psikologu do t\u00eb \u00e7uditej me paaft\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00ebnde p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndihmuar veten e p\u00ebr t\u00eb mbrojtur t\u00eb drejtat e tua dhe t\u00eb foshnjes t\u00ebnde. K\u00ebtu ka filluar c\u00ebnimi i r\u00ebnd\u00eb i jet\u00ebs t\u00ebnde, pasi \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb parim i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm psikologjik se \u00e7do njeri \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201cp\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebs p\u00ebr nevojat e veta\u201d. Ti ke menduar se ai do t\u00eb \u00e7uditej apo do t\u00eb nxehej, por \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb thot\u00eb ty psikologu i shkret\u00eb, ose si mund t\u00eb t\u00eb qortonte ty psikologu? Psikologu nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb prokuror, edhe pse ti e meriton nj\u00eb \u201cdush\u201d t\u00eb ftoht\u00eb, pasi ke vepruar si ai tr\u00ebndafili kur e mbulojn\u00eb morrat, me paaft\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00ebnde e ndoshta ti ke d\u00ebmtuar sadopak edhe foshnjen, vajz\u00ebn e vog\u00ebl, pasi vjehrra ta paska hequr at\u00eb nga duart sikur ti t\u00eb ishe ndonj\u00eb e s\u00ebmur\u00eb mendore. Shum\u00eb keq ka vepruar vjehrra, por edhe burri yt i cili nuk paska qen\u00eb n\u00eb gjendje p\u00ebr t\u00eb t\u00eb mbrojtur e ndihmuar, por rrika sus para n\u00ebn\u00ebs s\u00eb vet! Tani, problemet tuaja paskan vajtur maj\u00eb m\u00eb maj\u00eb, aq sa ti ke akumuluar aq shum\u00eb sa nuk po kupton n\u00ebse do t\u00eb divorcohesh p\u00ebr hall apo si nj\u00eb lloj hakmarrjeje t\u00eb akumuluar n\u00eb vite. Z\u00ebre se nuk ke b\u00ebr\u00eb asnj\u00eb seanc\u00eb me psikolog, ndaj duhet filluar nga e para, ashtu si nj\u00eb ar\u00eb e punuar keq nga qet\u00eb, do nj\u00eb \u201cplug\u201d m\u00eb t\u00eb thell\u00eb dhe q\u00eb mbjelljet t\u00eb b\u00ebhen me sistem e n\u00eb distanc\u00eb. M\u00eb e mira do t\u00eb ishte psikoterapia n\u00eb \u00e7ift, sepse un\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb gjykoj vet\u00ebm nga fjal\u00ebt e tua dhe kam t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb pyes: A mos ty t\u00eb duken t\u00eb drejta vet\u00ebm t\u00eb drejtat e tua? M\u00eb par\u00eb duhet t\u00eb shohim ato t\u00eb tjetrit. A mos mami ty nuk t\u00eb ka rritur t\u00eb p\u00ebrgatitur p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn e bashk\u00ebshort\u00ebsin\u00eb? Sepse un\u00eb e di q\u00eb ka plot mama t\u00eb cilat nga dashuria e tepruar e meraku se \u201cvajza do t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb n\u00eb der\u00eb t\u00eb huaj\u201d, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb ta m\u00ebsojn\u00eb me pun\u00eb e p\u00ebrkushtim, ia b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha gati vet\u00eb dhe mund t\u00eb rrisin ca vajza qullashe e si t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjumura q\u00eb ke frik\u00eb t\u2019i l\u00ebsh t\u2019u japin gji f\u00ebmij\u00ebve se ka ndodhur q\u00eb i ka z\u00ebn\u00eb gjumi duke ia bllokuar frym\u00ebmarrjen bebit, pasi bebi dy \u201cgram\u00eb\u201d frym\u00eb ka. Po t\u00eb ishte k\u00ebshtu, \u00e7\u2019faj ka vjehrra jote?! Un\u00eb po kuptoj se ajo t\u00eb ka l\u00ebn\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb \u201clir\u00eb\u201d q\u00eb ta rrit\u00ebsh f\u00ebmij\u00ebn e dyt\u00eb, pasi ka kuptuar se ti u m\u00ebsove nga rritja e bebit t\u00eb par\u00eb. Po \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb duket ty, gj\u00eb e vog\u00ebl pakujdesia gati fatale q\u00eb vajza t\u00eb paska r\u00ebn\u00eb nga dritarja?! Pra, ajo e ka jet\u00ebn e saj t\u00eb dyt\u00eb, apo jo? N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb k\u00ebshtu, ti nuk duhet t\u00eb qahesh nga vjehrra, por duhet t\u00eb qash e t\u00eb ul\u00ebras\u00ebsh para mamit t\u00ebnd, e cila nuk t\u00eb p\u00ebrgatiti n\u00eb koh\u00ebn e duhur si m\u00ebm\u00eb dhe si amvis\u00eb. Duhet t\u00eb \u201cprotestosh\u201d tek ajo. Kam d\u00ebgjuar t\u00eb thon\u00eb se n\u00eb Dib\u00ebr, te dibranet, merr vajz\u00eb, por mos jep… Pse? Sepse ata e p\u00ebrgatisin vajz\u00ebn me pun\u00eb, rregulla, higjien\u00eb e profesione p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn e ardhshme, pra, e \u00e7ojn\u00eb t\u00eb \u201cshk\u00eblqyer\u201d e plot me norma n\u00eb der\u00ebn e burrit, por ama ashtu edhe e duan nusen q\u00eb do t\u2019u vij\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi… E shikon pra se si na qenka puna? S\u2019t\u00eb lejon dibrani q\u00eb ti t\u00eb jesh si ajo delja \u201charraqe\u201d e pastaj t\u00eb qahesh kot…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" – S\u00eb pari, ju fal\u00ebnderoj p\u00ebr ndihm\u00ebn dhe p\u00ebrgjigjet tuaja. Jam nj\u00eb grua 31 vje\u00e7e, e martuar e me dy vajza si drita. Jam e pun\u00ebsuar dhe mundohem t\u2019i rris vajzat sa m\u00eb mir\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mundem. Problemi im \u00ebsht\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnia me bashk\u00ebshortin e me familjen e tij dhe pas 7 vitesh martes\u00eb, zhg\u00ebnjimi […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11039","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11039","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11039"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11039\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11039"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11039"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11039"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}