Miq t\u00eb gazet\u00ebs \u201cIntervista\u201d! Dua t\u2019ju tregoj se si jam zhytur n\u00eb m\u00ebkat dhe nuk po di si t\u00eb dal prej tij. Ndoshta dikush prej jush m\u00eb ndihmon, me nj\u00eb mendim, nj\u00eb sugjerim… ndon\u00ebse i kam humbur shpresat se do t\u00eb ndryshoj ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb. Po jetoj nj\u00eb jet\u00eb q\u00eb ma ka mbushur zemr\u00ebn me hidh\u00ebrim e nuk po m\u00eb l\u00eb as t\u00eb fle, as t\u00eb jetoj normalisht, si \u00e7do njeri tjet\u00ebr. Dikur u lidha me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb cilin e doja shum\u00eb, por m\u00eb shum\u00eb sesa e ndjeja shpirt\u00ebrisht, e ndjeja fizikisht. Nuk di si ta them… ai nuk ishte i pari p\u00ebr mua, se kisha patur edhe nja dy lidhje t\u00eb tjera, por kur Marini hyri n\u00eb jet\u00ebn time, une isha vet\u00ebm. Nuk m\u00eb t\u00ebrhiqte askush dhe nuk isha e dashuruar me ask\u00ebnd. Marini ishte nj\u00eb djal\u00eb i gjat\u00eb e muskuloz, q\u00eb sapo e pash\u00eb, m\u00eb b\u00ebri p\u00ebr vete dhe ndryshe nga \u00e7do her\u00eb tjet\u00ebr q\u00eb kisha r\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dashuri me njeriun, k\u00ebt\u00eb her\u00eb u marrosa fare pas fizikut. Marini m\u00eb b\u00ebri p\u00ebr vete menj\u00ebher\u00eb dhe ne, po at\u00eb dit\u00eb q\u00eb dol\u00ebm bashk\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb drek\u00eb, p\u00ebrfunduam n\u00eb krevat. Nuk di sa e papritur ishte p\u00ebr t\u00eb, por p\u00ebr mua qe shum\u00eb e papritur dhe nuk po i besoja vetes se si kisha arritur n\u00eb at\u00eb pik\u00eb. N\u00eb \u00e7do rast tjet\u00ebr, m\u00eb ishin dashur t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn gjasht\u00eb muaj me nj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb t\u2019i jepja puthjen e par\u00eb e jo m\u00eb t\u00eb shkoja n\u00eb krevat, q\u00eb as q\u00eb b\u00ebhej fjal\u00eb.<\/p>\n
Nejse. K\u00ebshtu vazhdoi historia jon\u00eb; ne takoheshim thuajse p\u00ebrdit\u00eb dhe mendjen q\u00eb t\u00eb dy e kishim te krevati. Mezi prisnim sa t\u00eb mbeteshim pak vet\u00ebm dhe nuk kemi l\u00ebn\u00eb motel pa bredhur, derisa gjet\u00ebm nj\u00eb motel q\u00eb me shaka, e quanim \u201csht\u00ebpia jon\u00eb\u201d. Isha marrosur fare pas tij, madje aq shum\u00eb sa nuk m\u00eb b\u00ebnte aspak p\u00ebrshtypje q\u00eb ai ishte nj\u00eb njeri fare i r\u00ebndomt\u00eb, q\u00eb nuk p\u00ebrshtatej me mua as sa i p\u00ebrket familjes dhe as shkollimit. Ai punonte n\u00eb nd\u00ebrtim, kurse un\u00eb isha me shkoll\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb dhe n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb, kisha hapur zyr\u00ebn time t\u00eb avokatis\u00eb. Ai kishte nj\u00eb familje p\u00ebr faqe t\u00eb zez\u00eb, nj\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb e njihte i gjith\u00eb qyteti p\u00ebr imoralitet dhe nj\u00eb baba q\u00eb gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebs ishte tap\u00eb. P\u00ebr t\u00eb mos folur pastaj p\u00ebr motrat q\u00eb i kishte t\u00eb dyja jasht\u00eb dhe q\u00eb nuk dihej se \u00e7far\u00eb b\u00ebnin andej e nuk kishin nam t\u00eb mir\u00eb as ato. Ja q\u00eb mua m\u00eb kishte mbyllur Zoti syt\u00eb, kur i thon\u00eb, dhe e vetmja gj\u00eb q\u00eb doja, ishte t\u00eb rrija me Marinin tim.<\/p>\n
K\u00ebshtu zgjati lidhja jon\u00eb p\u00ebr m\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00eb vit, deri kur nisi t\u00eb shuhej disi pasioni dhe dol\u00ebn n\u00eb pah hendeqet e m\u00ebdha q\u00eb na ndanin nga nj\u00ebri-tjetri. Ai nuk i honepste dot koleg\u00ebt e mi, m\u00eb rrinte nj\u00eb jav\u00eb me turinj n\u00ebse m\u00eb duhej t\u00eb shkoja n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb takim p\u00ebr pun\u00eb, por gjendja arriti kulmin nj\u00eb her\u00eb kur m\u2019u desh t\u00eb shkoja p\u00ebr nj\u00eb trajnim n\u00eb Gjermani. Ai b\u00ebri namin dhe m\u00eb tha se, n\u00ebse shkoja, do t\u00eb m\u00eb linte. U p\u00ebrpoqa ta bindja se ishte nj\u00eb budallall\u00ebk nga ana e tij kjo q\u00eb po m\u00eb thonte dhe se trajnimi m\u00eb duhej p\u00ebr pun\u00ebn, po a kuptonte ai? Ai dinte at\u00eb q\u00eb i thoshte koka e vet dhe, n\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit, \u00e7\u2019faj kishte? Ai aq mund t\u00eb kuptonte… n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e tij dinte vet\u00ebm si t\u00eb b\u00ebnte tulla e lla\u00e7.<\/p>\n
Kur m\u00eb tha se n\u00ebse ikja, lidhjes son\u00eb i kishte ardhur fundi, m\u00eb kapi inati dhe i thash\u00eb: \u201cOkej, n\u00eb rregull, si\u00e7 thua ti, u b\u00ebft\u00eb!\u201d dhe ika. At\u00eb dit\u00eb nuk i telefonova dhe as n\u00eb dit\u00ebt n\u00eb vazhdim. As ai nuk e b\u00ebri, madje nuk e shihja m\u00eb as v\u00ebrdall\u00eb; ishte zhdukur si me magji. E kuptova se ishte shum\u00eb i zem\u00ebruar me mua, por mendova se me siguri, kur t\u00eb kthehesha, inati do t\u2019i kishte ikur dhe ne s\u00ebrish do t\u00eb ishim bashk\u00eb. U ktheva pas tre muajsh t\u00eb gjat\u00eb, q\u00eb i kalova n\u00ebn nj\u00eb dhimbje t\u00eb madhe, pasi m\u00eb kishte marr\u00eb malli shum\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb dhe, sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb kalonte koha, aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebrforcohej parandjenja se e kisha humbur t\u00eb dashurin tim. N\u00eb \u00e7aste zem\u00ebrimi mendoja se ndoshta ishte m\u00eb mir\u00eb k\u00ebshtu, pasi n\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit, \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb ardhmeje do t\u00eb kishim ne t\u00eb dy? Nejse, po jua pranoj juve, megjith\u00ebse vetes nuk ia pranoja n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb se, kur u ktheva, b\u00ebra t\u00eb pamundur\u00ebn q\u00eb atij t\u2019i shkonte n\u00eb vesh lajmi se n\u00eb cil\u00ebn dit\u00eb dhe n\u00eb cil\u00ebn or\u00eb do t\u00eb zbrisja n\u00eb Rinas. Gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb udh\u00ebtimit q\u00ebndrova me shpres\u00eb se at\u00eb do ta shihja n\u00eb aeroport, por nuk e pash\u00eb.<\/p>\n
U ktheva n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi sikur t\u00eb m\u00eb kishin vrar\u00eb dhe rezistova pa e kontaktuar vet\u00ebm dy or\u00eb pas mb\u00ebrritjes. M\u00eb pas e pata t\u00eb pamundur t\u00eb rrija e heshtur. Po \u00e7mendesha nga d\u00ebshira p\u00ebr ta par\u00eb. I \u00e7ova nj\u00eb mesazh, ku i shkruaja se m\u00eb kishte marr\u00eb malli p\u00ebr trupin e tij dhe se mezi prisja ta p\u00ebrqafoja. P\u00ebr \u00e7udi, pes\u00eb minuta pasi e nisa mesazhin, m\u00eb erdhi nj\u00eb mesazh nga nj\u00eb num\u00ebr tjet\u00ebr, me k\u00ebt\u00eb tekst: \u201cHarroji p\u00ebrqafimet e puthjet dhe zhduku, po nuk deshe t\u00eb ta nxjerr boj\u00ebn, k… Ah, n\u00ebse do ta dish kush jam, ta dish se jam e fejuara e Marinit dhe, po nuk besove, hajde n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi se ta tregoj un\u00eb n\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb m\u00ebnyre t\u00eb duash\u201d.<\/p>\n
Ky mesazh m\u00eb la pa fjal\u00eb dhe pa frym\u00eb. Marini ishte fejuar?! N\u00eb tre muaj kishte gjetur nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb dhe ishte fejuar me t\u00eb? Nj\u00eb vit i yni nuk do t\u00eb thoshte asgj\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb? E tronditur nuk dija \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb b\u00ebja dhe b\u00ebra at\u00eb q\u00eb s\u2019duhej. I shkova v\u00ebrtet n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi dhe e gjeta me t\u00eb fejuar\u00ebn e tij, q\u00eb nuk besoj t\u2019i kishte l\u00ebn\u00eb gj\u00eb mangut n\u00ebn\u00ebs s\u00eb tij dhe q\u00eb, me pafytyr\u00ebsin\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe, sapo m\u00eb pa n\u00eb der\u00eb, u sul t\u00eb rrihej me mua. Por e ndali Marini. Ai e mori dhe, duke e par\u00eb sa e inatosur ishte, e futi n\u00eb dhom\u00eb dhe i mbylli der\u00ebn. N\u00eb sht\u00ebpi nuk ishte askush tjet\u00ebr, ve\u00e7 nesh… asaj q\u00eb ul\u00ebrinte prapa der\u00ebs s\u00eb dhom\u00ebs dhe q\u00eb i k\u00ebrkonte ta hapte, un\u00eb, q\u00eb kisha mbetur thuajse pa frym\u00eb n\u00eb at\u00eb sht\u00ebpi t\u00eb mjer\u00eb dhe ai… q\u00eb m\u00eb shihte me nj\u00eb v\u00ebshtrim q\u00eb m\u00eb \u00e7armatoste fare. Kur e shihja ashtu p\u00ebrball\u00eb meje, nuk kisha asnj\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb tjet\u00ebr p\u00ebrve\u00e7se ta p\u00ebrqafoja e t\u00eb b\u00ebja dashuri me t\u00eb. Asgj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr nuk kishte m\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi…<\/p>\n
\u00c7far\u00eb ndodhi? Marini nisi t\u00eb b\u00ebrtiste sa p\u00ebr sy e faqe, q\u00eb ta d\u00ebgjonte e fejuara e tij e mbyllur n\u00eb dhom\u00eb, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb ai m\u00eb puthte e p\u00ebrqafonte si i marr\u00eb dhe me z\u00eb t\u00eb ul\u00ebt, m\u00eb thoshte se e kishte marr\u00eb shum\u00eb malli p\u00ebr mua. Fatmir\u00ebsisht, arrit\u00ebm ta frenonim veten e t\u00eb mos b\u00ebnim dashuri n\u00eb ato kushte, pavar\u00ebsisht se sa ishim t\u00eb dehur nga pasioni e t\u00eb p\u00ebrmalluar pas nj\u00ebri-tjetrit. Ai m\u00eb tha t\u00eb ikja dhe do t\u00eb m\u00eb telefononte ai… nuk shkova n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, por u enda rrug\u00ebve deri von\u00eb n\u00eb mbr\u00ebmje. Pastaj u shtriva, por nuk munda t\u00eb flija gjith\u00eb nat\u00ebn. Sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb e kuptoja se ai m\u00eb kishte fshir\u00eb nga jeta e tij, aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb e doja. Sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb mendoja se ai ishte nj\u00eb maskara q\u00eb nuk kishte pritur rastin p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00eb l\u00ebn\u00eb, aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb m\u00eb kujtoheshin puthjet dhe pasioni i tij, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb e fejuara i k\u00ebrkonte t\u00eb hapte der\u00ebn e dhom\u00ebs. Ai m\u00eb telefonoi pas tre dit\u00ebsh t\u00eb gjata, t\u00eb gjata, nga nj\u00eb num\u00ebr i ri telefoni. M\u00eb tha se do t\u00eb m\u00eb takonte te moteli ku shiheshim zakonisht. Shkova me vrap atje. At\u00eb dit\u00eb b\u00ebm\u00eb dashuri si t\u00eb ishte hera e par\u00eb p\u00ebr ne. As diskutuam asgj\u00eb nga jet\u00ebt tona, thjesht iu dham\u00eb pasionit. Pasi mbaruam, ai u vesh dhe m\u00eb tha se mund ta paguaja un\u00eb fatur\u00ebn e motelit. Nuk i thash\u00eb asgj\u00eb. E pagova dhe kur dola, ai m\u00eb priste n\u00eb makin\u00ebn time. Donte q\u00eb ta \u00e7oja n\u00eb pun\u00eb…<\/p>\n
Q\u00eb nga ajo dit\u00eb, k\u00ebshtu vazhdojm\u00eb. Ai m\u00eb telefonon kur do, pasi numrin e telefonit e ka vazhdimisht t\u00eb mbyllur, ngaq\u00eb i trembet t\u00eb fejuar\u00ebs. Takohemi, b\u00ebjm\u00eb dashuri, un\u00eb paguaj, e \u00e7oj me makin\u00eb atje ku do dhe vazhdoj jet\u00ebn time… ashtu si mundem ta vazhdoj. Ndihem e d\u00ebrrmuar, e shfryt\u00ebzuar, e posht\u00ebruar dhe \u00e7do her\u00eb q\u00eb ndahem prej tij vendos t\u00eb mos e takoj m\u00eb, por m\u00eb mjafton z\u00ebri i tij n\u00eb telefon, p\u00ebr t\u2019ua v\u00ebn\u00eb viz\u00ebn vendimeve t\u00eb mia t\u00eb arsyeshme dhe p\u00ebr t\u2019iu dh\u00ebn\u00eb k\u00ebsaj dashurie q\u00eb as dashuri nuk mund t\u00eb quhet m\u00eb. Ndihem si e vdekur e prap\u00eb nuk heq dot dor\u00eb prej tij, megjith\u00ebse ai po vazhdon jet\u00ebn e tij dhe, shum\u00eb shpejt, do t\u00eb b\u00ebhet baba i nj\u00eb djali me at\u00eb q\u00eb dikur e kishte t\u00eb fejuar e q\u00eb tashm\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb gruaja e tij…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Miq t\u00eb gazet\u00ebs \u201cIntervista\u201d! Dua t\u2019ju tregoj se si jam zhytur n\u00eb m\u00ebkat dhe nuk po di si t\u00eb dal prej tij. Ndoshta dikush prej jush m\u00eb ndihmon, me nj\u00eb mendim, nj\u00eb sugjerim… ndon\u00ebse i kam humbur shpresat se do t\u00eb ndryshoj ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb. Po jetoj nj\u00eb jet\u00eb q\u00eb ma ka mbushur zemr\u00ebn me hidh\u00ebrim e […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[95],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10878","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rrefime-mekatesh"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10878","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10878"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10878\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10878"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10878"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10878"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}