Un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam nj\u00eb grua e re n\u00eb mosh\u00eb, por jam martuar e vog\u00ebl e tani kam tre f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Shoqet e mia jan\u00eb n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb dhe un\u00eb kam shum\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb t\u00eb isha me to, por kjo duhej b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00eb koh\u00eb e jo tani kur m\u00eb shum\u00eb se shkolla, m\u00eb duhet jeta e qet\u00eb familjare. Ndoshta t\u00eb gjith\u00eb njer\u00ebzit, kur m\u00eb shohin, mendojn\u00eb se jam rehat e b\u00ebj nj\u00eb jet\u00eb luksoze, por jo \u00e7do gj\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb ashtu si\u00e7 duket.
\nSi\u00e7 ju thash\u00eb, u martova kur isha 17 vje\u00e7e. Meq\u00eb nuk isha mir\u00eb me m\u00ebsime, prind\u00ebrit m\u00eb martuan me t\u00eb parin q\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrkoi, pra, q\u00eb erdhi n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi e k\u00ebrkoi dor\u00ebn time. Nejse, edhe un\u00eb doja t\u00eb lidhesha me dik\u00eb. Nuk e di pse e kisha k\u00ebt\u00eb qejf, ndoshta ngaq\u00eb jetoja n\u00eb fshat dhe burri jetonte n\u00eb qytet e mendoja se do t\u00eb jetoja m\u00eb mir\u00eb. Isha dakord me prind\u00ebrit q\u00eb t\u00eb martohesha me t\u00eb. Ishte nja 5 vjet m\u00eb i madh se un\u00eb dhe ishte nj\u00eb njeri me t\u00eb cilin mund t\u00eb kisha perspektiv\u00eb, sepse ishte n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb dhe mund t\u00eb m\u00eb siguronte jet\u00ebn. Dhe ashtu ndodhi. Q\u00eb n\u00eb momentin q\u00eb u martova me t\u00eb, kisha gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb mund t\u00eb d\u00ebshironte nj\u00eb grua. Ai mbaroi shkoll\u00ebn e lart\u00eb dhe u fut n\u00eb pun\u00eb e m\u00eb von\u00eb ngjiti shkall\u00ebt e karrier\u00ebs nj\u00eb e nga nj\u00eb me nj\u00eb rrog\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb dhe me shum\u00eb p\u00ebrfitime. Edhe vjehrri punonte shum\u00eb dhe n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi nuk na mungonte asgj\u00eb. E vetmja gj\u00eb q\u00eb mund t\u00eb quhej e padurueshme ishte q\u00ebndrimi n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi e mosvajtja n\u00eb pun\u00eb. Megjithat\u00eb, rritja e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve m\u00eb merrte shum\u00eb koh\u00eb. Nuk ndenj\u00ebm shum\u00eb me prind\u00ebrit e tij n\u00eb nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, sepse kishim mund\u00ebsi ekonomike dhe blem\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb ton\u00eb. Jeta ime ishte jet\u00eb p\u00ebrrallash dhe gjithmon\u00eb mendoja se ia kishte vlejtur sakrifica e l\u00ebnies s\u00eb shkoll\u00ebs. Kur linda f\u00ebmij\u00ebn e par\u00eb, vjehrra m\u00eb vinte shpesh p\u00ebr vizit\u00eb dhe si e vog\u00ebl q\u00eb isha, nuk kuptoja se kur ajo fliste mir\u00eb me mua e kur fliste me t\u00eb keq. Edhe kur linda dy f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tjer\u00eb vinte, por jo aq shpesh. Nejse, un\u00eb nuk ia vija shum\u00eb veshin pasi e ndjeja se nuk kisha shum\u00eb nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr ndihm\u00eb, se isha m\u00ebsuar me f\u00ebmij\u00ebn e par\u00eb.
\nKaluan vite dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt m\u2019u b\u00ebn\u00eb 6, 4 dhe 2 vje\u00e7, sepse i b\u00ebra shum\u00eb shpesh. Tani isha pak m\u00eb e lir\u00eb, por na ndodhi nj\u00eb fatkeq\u00ebsi, na vdiq vjehrri. Ai ishte shum\u00eb i mbajtur, por pas nj\u00eb infarkti mjek\u00ebt nuk mund\u00ebn ta shp\u00ebtonin. Burri im u m\u00ebrzit shum\u00eb, por edhe un\u00eb, sepse kisha nj\u00eb respekt dhe nj\u00eb dashuri si p\u00ebr babain tim. Edhe vjehrra u m\u00ebrzit shum\u00eb. Dhe kishte t\u00eb drejt\u00eb, sepse ai ishte nj\u00eb burr\u00eb q\u00eb jo shum\u00eb gra do ta kishin si fat ta kishin. Ai ishte pun\u00ebtor, i edukuar dhe shum\u00eb i dashur me t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, ashtu si burri im. Nj\u00eb dit\u00eb, burri erdhi n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi e m\u00eb tha:
\n– Isha nga mami. Po m\u00ebrzitet e nuk e di si do t\u2019ia b\u00ebj\u00eb. Nuk po mundet ta kaloj\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb q\u00eb i ndodhi.
\n– E ka t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00eb, nuk diskutohet. Si ta ndihmojm\u00eb?
\n– Mendoj ta marrim p\u00ebr ca koh\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Ndoshta f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e ndihmojn\u00eb ta harroj\u00eb sadopak.
\n– N\u00ebse kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb zgjidhja, nuk kemi pse ta diskutojm\u00eb – i thash\u00eb menj\u00ebher\u00eb. Ndjeja nj\u00eb respekt e dashuri t\u00eb madhe p\u00ebr vjehrrit.
\n– Jam me fat q\u00eb t\u00eb kam p\u00ebr grua ty! – ishte nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb q\u00eb ma thoshte shpesh burri im.
\nDhe k\u00ebshtu, e mor\u00ebm vjehrr\u00ebn n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Kishim mjaft vend dhe p\u00ebr mua ishte mir\u00eb, se do t\u00eb kisha nj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb do t\u00eb m\u00eb ndihmonte n\u00eb pun\u00ebt e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb dhe me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. Jo se ishte marr\u00eb shum\u00eb me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e mi, si\u00e7 ju thash\u00eb dhe m\u00eb lart, po ishte gjyshja e tyre dhe ata do ta kishin af\u00ebr.
\nN\u00eb fillim, \u00e7do gj\u00eb ishte n\u00eb rregull. Ajo paradite ngrihej her\u00ebt, dilte me shoqet n\u00eb kafe e kur kthehej nuk fliste shum\u00eb, vet\u00ebm merrej pak me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e m\u00eb pas futej n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn q\u00eb i kishim l\u00ebn\u00eb e nuk shqet\u00ebsonte njeri.
\n– Mos rri kaq shum\u00eb vet\u00ebm, – i thash\u00eb nj\u00eb dit\u00eb kur erdhi nga kafja. \u2013 Tani mbyllesh n\u00eb dhom\u00eb e nuk del, k\u00ebshtu merzia do t\u00eb t\u00eb shtohet. Ne prandaj t\u00eb mor\u00ebm, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos jesh vet\u00ebm.
\n– Po nuk dua t\u2019ju bezdis juve. Ke pak f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e t\u00eb m\u00eb kesh edhe mua n\u00ebp\u00ebr k\u00ebmb\u00eb.
\n– \u00c7\u2019jan\u00eb k\u00ebto fjal\u00eb q\u00eb thua?! Ne jemi familja jote, – i thash\u00eb e habitur se mua as q\u00eb m\u00eb kishte shkuar nd\u00ebrmend se mund t\u00eb mendonte q\u00eb m\u00eb shqet\u00ebsonte.
\nNejse, q\u00eb nga ajo dit\u00eb, ajo rrinte m\u00eb shum\u00eb me ne, por nga dita n\u00eb dit\u00eb filloi t\u00eb ndryshonte. U fliste me ton t\u00eb lart\u00eb dhe t\u00eb eg\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, nuk duronte q\u00eb ata t\u00eb luanin e ta shqet\u00ebsonin kur shikonte telenovel\u00ebn. Mundohesha t\u2019i mbaja n\u00eb qet\u00ebsi, por ata ishin ende t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl e nuk kuptonin. Ajo nuk m\u00eb ankohej mua, por i thoshte burrit.
\n– N\u00ebna \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e m\u00ebrzitur. – m\u00eb tha ai. \u2013 Duhet t\u00eb mundohesh t\u2019i mbash f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e t\u2019i edukosh q\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb urt\u00eb.
\n– Po ata jan\u00eb t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl!
\n– Q\u00eb tani e marrin kultur\u00ebn e edukat\u00ebn. – tha ai i bindur se un\u00eb nuk isha e zonja t\u2019i rrisja si duhet.
\n– Nuk po kuptoj se \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb thuash. N\u00ebse ke di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr t\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb, ma thuaj hapur. Ne jemi m\u00ebsuar t\u2019i themi gj\u00ebrat gjithmon\u00eb hapur, apo jo? \u00c7far\u00eb ka ndryshuar?
\n– Asgj\u00eb nuk ka ndryshuar, vet\u00ebm se n\u00ebn\u00ebs i duhet shum\u00eb qet\u00ebsi q\u00eb t\u00eb kaloj\u00eb m\u00ebrzin\u00eb.
\nUn\u00eb e kuptova se ai nuk fliste ato q\u00eb mendonte vet\u00eb, por ato q\u00eb i kishte th\u00ebn\u00eb vjehrra.
\n– Po ajo qet\u00ebsi kishte te sht\u00ebpia e saj, k\u00ebtu erdhi p\u00ebr t\u00eb humbur mendjen! – i thash\u00eb.
\n– Po po b\u00ebhet m\u00eb keq se f\u00ebmij\u00ebt jan\u00eb t\u00eb prap\u00eb. Ajo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00ebsuar k\u00ebshtu, se ne kemi qen\u00eb familje shum\u00eb e edukuar dhe me kultur\u00eb.
\n– Ti po shan f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tu tani, apo mua? Kush \u00ebsht\u00eb fajtori, se nuk po e kuptoj?
\n– Nuk ka fajtor k\u00ebtu, vet\u00ebm se duhet t\u00eb merresh m\u00eb shum\u00eb me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt.
\n– Un\u00eb me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt merrem gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn dhe ti e di mir\u00eb se jet\u00ebn ua kam kushtuar atyre. As b\u00ebra shkoll\u00eb si ti e as nuk rri kafeve si n\u00ebna jote.
\nK\u00ebto fjal\u00eb ishin t\u00eb r\u00ebnda e k\u00ebt\u00eb e kuptova pasi i nxora nga goja.
\n– Si guxon t\u00eb flas\u00ebsh k\u00ebshtu? \u00c7far\u00eb t\u00eb mungon ty? – tha ai i xhindosur. Nuk e kisha par\u00eb ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb ashtu, ndaj u tremba dhe u mundova ta qet\u00ebsoja.
\n– M\u00eb fal se m\u00eb erdh\u00ebn fjal\u00eb q\u00eb nuk i mendova.
\nN\u00eb at\u00eb \u00e7ast, ai sikur u qet\u00ebsua dhe nuk foli p\u00ebr pak \u00e7aste. Edhe un\u00eb nuk fola. M\u00eb pas i thash\u00eb:
\n– Zem\u00ebr, ne gjithmon\u00eb duhet t\u00eb jemi t\u00eb bashkuar e t\u00eb mos zihemi, por t\u00eb arsyetojm\u00eb q\u00eb ta mbajm\u00eb lidhjen e sh\u00ebndosh\u00eb.
\n– Dakord, dakord, – tha ai e ra n\u00eb mendime t\u00eb thella. N\u00eb dark\u00eb b\u00ebnim sikur nuk kishte ndodhur asgj\u00eb. T\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen, kur vjehrra donte t\u00eb dilte p\u00ebr kafe me shoqet, i thash\u00eb q\u00eb ta pinim kafen bashk\u00eb at\u00eb dit\u00eb e t\u2019i lajm\u00ebronte shoqet se nuk do t\u00eb shkonte. U ul\u00ebm n\u00eb nj\u00eb lokal dhe ajo b\u00ebnte sikur nuk e shqet\u00ebsonte asgj\u00eb. Mua po m\u00eb vlonte truri nga fjal\u00ebt e nuk po dija si t\u2019ia thoja ato q\u00eb mendoja.
\n– N\u00ebn\u00eb, a ndjehesh mir\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb ton\u00eb? – i thash\u00eb me nj\u00eb ton t\u00eb \u00ebmb\u00ebl pa asnj\u00eb acarim.
\n– Po, shum\u00eb mir\u00eb. Pse?
\n– Thash\u00eb se mos ndoshta f\u00ebmij\u00ebt t\u00eb shqet\u00ebsojn\u00eb, ngaq\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl e kan\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb t\u00eb luajn\u00eb.
\n– Po t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl jan\u00eb ata. \u2013 ajo vazhdonte loj\u00ebn e saj sikur nuk i kishte th\u00ebn\u00eb asgj\u00eb burrit tim.
\n– E di se e ke v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb hapesh me mua. Nuk po flas me doreza e po t\u00eb them se \u00e7far\u00ebdo q\u00eb t\u00eb kesh n\u00eb lidhje me mua, dua t\u00eb ma thuash mua e jo tjet\u00ebrkujt.
\n– Tjet\u00ebrkujt? Djalit tim duhet t\u2019i them gjith\u00e7ka. Ai \u00ebsht\u00eb i imi, nuk kam tjet\u00ebr n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb bot\u00eb. Me at\u00eb do t\u2019i qaj hallet e mia.
\n– Po jeta e tij \u00ebsht\u00eb e lidhur me mua dhe me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. N\u00ebse ti vazhdon t\u00eb fus\u00ebsh xixa mes nesh at\u00ebher\u00eb jeta e tij do t\u00eb shkat\u00ebrrohet.
\n– Po t\u00eb dish ti t\u00eb jesh nj\u00eb grua e rregullt, nuk ka si t\u2019i shkat\u00ebrrohet. M\u00ebsoji mir\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e pastaj un\u00eb nuk kam pse t\u00eb ankohem askund.
\n– Sa mir\u00eb q\u00eb dole vet\u00eb aty ku doja t\u00eb dilja un\u00eb. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt e mi jan\u00eb t\u00eb edukuar ashtu si\u00e7 duhet. N\u00ebse ti i thua edukat\u00eb asaj q\u00eb b\u00ebn prapa krah\u00ebve t\u00eb mi, un\u00eb nuk jam dakord dhe p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb mund t\u00eb pyes\u00ebsh t\u00eb gjith\u00eb e ta sqarojn\u00eb. Pastaj, ti je gjyshja e tyre. Afroji pak e ata do t\u00eb sillen ndryshe me ty.
\n– Si duket t\u00eb paskam bezdisur e do t\u00eb largohem nga sht\u00ebpia jote.
\n– Tani po thua k\u00ebto se e di edhe vet\u00eb se je komplet gabim. Un\u00eb nuk jam m\u00ebrzitur me ty, por me veprimet e tua. Nuk e kupton ti se k\u00ebto gj\u00ebra mund t\u00eb prishin lidhjen ton\u00eb? A do t\u00eb jesh e k\u00ebnaqur n\u00ebse z\u00ebnkat mes ne t\u00eb dyve do t\u00eb shtoheshin deri n\u00eb ekstrem?
\n– Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb puna juaj! – tha me ton t\u00eb ashp\u00ebr, por edhe justifikues.
\n– \u00cbsht\u00eb puna jon\u00eb kur zihemi p\u00ebr gj\u00ebrat tona, gj\u00eb q\u00eb nuk ka ndodhur kurr\u00eb, por \u00ebsht\u00eb puna jote kur ti \u201ci fryn n\u00eb vesh\u201d tim shoqi.
\n– Ehu, pse nuk thua shkurt q\u00eb do t\u00eb jetosh n\u00eb rehatin\u00eb t\u00ebnde? Po mos harro se baz\u00ebn e pasuris\u00eb q\u00eb ke, e ke nga krah\u00ebt e burrit tim dhe t\u00eb mit\u00eb. Ne ishim ata q\u00eb ju dham\u00eb dor\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb ecur para.
\n– K\u00ebt\u00eb hall paske ti, – i thash\u00eb e inatosur, \u2013 te pasuria. Mua nuk m\u00eb intereson pasuria m\u00eb shum\u00eb se harmonia familjare. N\u00ebse mendon se \u00e7far\u00eb kemi e kemi nga ju, thuaj \u00e7far\u00eb do e un\u00eb jam gati t\u00eb t\u2019i jap, vet\u00ebm q\u00eb t\u00eb shp\u00ebtoj martes\u00ebn time.
\n– K\u00ebto gj\u00ebra nuk kam pse t\u2019i diskutoj me ty, pa qen\u00eb djali im k\u00ebtu.
\n– Dakord! – i thash\u00eb.
\nN\u00eb dark\u00eb, kur erdhi im shoq, e hapa un\u00eb bised\u00ebn.
\n– Nuk e di a t\u00eb ka th\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00ebna p\u00ebr bised\u00ebn q\u00eb b\u00ebm\u00eb sot n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes…
\n– Po, m\u00eb ka th\u00ebn\u00eb.
\n– Kur?! – u habita. Ajo rrinte e nuk fliste aspak. – Ti tani sa e takove.
\n– M\u00eb tha n\u00eb telefon n\u00eb koh\u00ebn e drek\u00ebs. Po ti, \u00e7\u2019ke q\u00eb je kaq e tensionuar? E di se kjo gjendje e jotja nuk u b\u00ebn mir\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve?
\n– \u00c7\u2019po thua k\u00ebshtu? E si \u00ebsht\u00eb gjendja ime?
\n– Po ja, q\u00eb do vet\u00ebm t\u00eb zihesh.
\nN\u00eb at\u00eb \u00e7ast, m\u2019u duk se burri im ishte tjet\u00ebrsuar. Ne t\u00eb dy kishim nj\u00eb lidhje t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb e kjo na kishte sjell\u00eb lumturi q\u00ebkur ishim martuar.
\n– Jam keq un\u00eb, apo n\u00ebna jote q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon pasurin\u00eb?
\n– Po t\u00eb drejt\u00eb ka, se gjith\u00e7ka ka rrjedhur nga prind\u00ebrit e mi. Pse, mos kujton se na kan\u00eb mbajtur moll\u00ebt e rrushi q\u00eb na kan\u00eb sjell\u00eb ata t\u00eb tut\u00eb nga fshati?
\n– M\u00eb fal, po un\u00eb nuk po t\u00eb njoh. Nuk e di se \u00e7\u2019ke n\u00eb kok\u00eb, po je tjet\u00ebr njeri. Po habitem…
\n– Mos u habit aspak. Un\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebn time nuk e l\u00eb n\u00eb rrug\u00eb. Do shesim sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e prind\u00ebrve dhe do t\u00eb jetojm\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb bashk\u00eb. Lek\u00ebt do t\u2019i ndajm\u00eb p\u00ebrgjysm\u00eb q\u00eb edhe n\u00ebna t\u00eb ket\u00eb di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr vete.
\nKjo ishte nj\u00eb bomb\u00eb q\u00eb nuk e prisja. E mor\u00ebm vjehrr\u00ebn n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi se na erdhi keq dhe ajo tani po na b\u00ebn t\u00eb shesim dhe sht\u00ebpit\u00eb e t\u00eb ribashkohemi.
\nTani, un\u00eb ndodhem n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb pik\u00eb. Nuk e di si do t\u2019i vej\u00eb filli k\u00ebsaj pune, ve\u00e7 dua q\u00eb familja ime t\u00eb kthehet edhe nj\u00ebher\u00eb ashtu si\u00e7 ishte, e lumtur dhe e sh\u00ebndetshme. A do t\u00eb jet\u00eb e mundur kjo? Nuk e di. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam nj\u00eb grua e re n\u00eb mosh\u00eb, por jam martuar e vog\u00ebl e tani kam tre f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Shoqet e mia jan\u00eb n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb dhe un\u00eb kam shum\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb t\u00eb isha me to, por kjo duhej b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00eb koh\u00eb e jo tani kur m\u00eb shum\u00eb se shkolla, m\u00eb duhet jeta e […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10760","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10760","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10760"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10760\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10760"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10760"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10760"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}