– E nderuar redaksi, kam nj\u00eb hall t\u00eb madh me burrin. Kur lindi djali, ai nuk rrinte n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, nuk sillte para dhe un\u00eb i b\u00ebja vet\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha pun\u00ebt. Ne jetojm\u00eb me qira dhe ai vet\u00ebm qiran\u00eb paguante, asgj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr. Un\u00eb kisha rrog\u00ebn time t\u00eb vog\u00ebl dhe me t\u00eb ushqeja tim bir, paguaja faturat, kurse vet\u00eb haja nj\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb 48 or\u00eb. Shkoja n\u00eb fakultet, jepja provimet dhe investoja p\u00ebr familjen. Ne kemi pas bler\u00eb nj\u00eb tok\u00eb dhe ai m\u00eb thot\u00eb \u201cpo nd\u00ebrtojm\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb\u201d, por m\u00eb g\u00ebnjen. Ai nuk flet me mua p\u00ebr asgj\u00eb kur e pyes p\u00ebr banes\u00ebn, m\u00eb thot\u00eb \u201cnd\u00ebrtimi do p\u00ebrfundoj\u00eb pas nj\u00eb viti\u201d, edhe pse un\u00eb do t\u00eb duhej t\u00eb rehatohesha q\u00eb n\u00eb qershor. Ai nuk sjell ushqime n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, nuk rri me ne, nuk di sa para fiton, thot\u00eb se shum\u00eb persona i kan\u00eb para borxh dhe nuk ia kthejn\u00eb. Kur merr rrog\u00ebn, ik\u00ebn me tre dit\u00eb nga sht\u00ebpia. Shpesh, m\u00eb detyron t\u00eb paguaj ndonj\u00eb fatur\u00eb telefoni ose m\u00eb merr para dhe mbetem pa ushqim. Ai ka ndryshuar k\u00ebshtu q\u00ebkur lindi f\u00ebmija. M\u00eb k\u00ebrkon t\u00eb b\u00ebj seks me t\u00eb, por mua m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb neveritur dhe m\u00eb e keqja, pas lindjes s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, kam zbuluar q\u00eb ka edhe nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb me gruan e par\u00eb, nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb 12 vje\u00e7e dhe un\u00eb s\u2019e kam ditur. Ish-gruaja e tradhtonte, k\u00ebt\u00eb ma kan\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb fqinj\u00ebt e lagjes ku ka jetuar m\u00eb par\u00eb. Me vajz\u00ebn nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb i lidhur, se ajo jeton me n\u00ebn\u00ebn e vet. E kuptoj se ai e do n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, por un\u00eb s\u2019e pranoj dot k\u00ebt\u00eb fakt. Ai i jep para p\u00ebr ushqimin e vajz\u00ebs, kurse p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn ton\u00eb nuk ia ndjen fare. Ka filluar edhe t\u00eb m\u00eb q\u00eblloj\u00eb. Kam menduar t\u00eb ndahem prej tij, jam 36 vje\u00e7e dhe ai \u00ebsht\u00eb 40 vje\u00e7. Kur m\u00eb q\u00ebllon, m\u00eb k\u00ebrkon falje, por e p\u00ebrs\u00ebrit prap\u00eb. M\u00eb thoni ju lutem si t\u00eb veproj, t\u00eb ndahem prej tij apo si? Un\u00eb jam m\u00ebsuese, kurse ai, inxhinier nd\u00ebrtimi.
\nMarsela Marsi, psikologe: – T\u00eb m\u00eb fal\u00ebsh, por duhet t\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj un\u00eb disa pyetje: Ai t\u00eb thot\u00eb se po nd\u00ebrtohet sht\u00ebpia dhe ti mendon se t\u00eb g\u00ebnjen… Kaq e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb ta v\u00ebrtetosh konkretisht n\u00ebse po t\u00eb g\u00ebnjen, apo jo? Pasi ke b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb me t\u00eb, ti m\u00ebson se ai ka nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb 12 vje\u00e7 dhe paguan para p\u00ebr t\u00eb. Po kur pyete se pse e la gruan e par\u00eb, si\u00e7 thua, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb t\u00eb treguan se gruaja e tradhtonte dhe askush nuk t\u00eb tha se ai ka nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb me t\u00eb?
\nAi ik\u00ebn me tre dit\u00eb nga sht\u00ebpia dhe ti e ke kaq t\u00eb pamundur ta v\u00ebrtetosh se ku po shkon? Kam frik\u00eb se n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, ti nuk do as vet\u00eb ta dish se ku shkon ai, sepse i trembesh t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebs, por \u00e7far\u00eb ka ngelur m\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019iu trembur tani, n\u00ebse situata mes jush \u00ebsht\u00eb v\u00ebrtet kjo q\u00eb ti tregon n\u00eb let\u00ebr?
\nM\u00eb pyet a ta ndash apo jo… Kam edhe un\u00eb nj\u00eb pyetje t\u00eb fundit p\u00ebr ty: Pse t\u00eb mos e ndash? P\u00ebr \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb duhet nj\u00eb burr\u00eb q\u00eb nuk kujdeset p\u00ebr ty, p\u00ebr familjen, p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn e tij, nj\u00eb burr\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb ofroj\u00eb qet\u00ebsi, arrin edhe t\u00eb t\u00eb q\u00eblloj\u00eb? P\u00ebr \u00e7far\u00eb mund ta mbash ende nj\u00eb burr\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb? Shpesh, nd\u00ebrsa p\u00ebrballem me raste t\u00eb ngjashme me tuajin, m\u00eb ndodh t\u00eb pyes veten: A na m\u00ebsojn\u00eb neve q\u00eb n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri se \u00e7\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb familja, apo thjesht na kan\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se familja \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme dhe ne s\u2019arrijm\u00eb dot ta kuptojm\u00eb se familjen nuk e mban n\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00eb vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb an\u00eb e \u00e7iftit, por t\u00eb dy bashk\u00eb?! T\u00eb jetosh n\u00eb familje do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb kesh detyra e p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi, t\u00eb marr\u00ebsh prej saj t\u00eb mirat, q\u00eb jan\u00eb qet\u00ebsia ekonomike e shpirt\u00ebrore, k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsit\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb japin f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e dashuria, por edhe t\u00eb ndash p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsit\u00eb e detyrimet dhe kjo vlen p\u00ebr burrin dhe gruan. Ne mund ta falim nj\u00eb burr\u00eb apo nj\u00eb grua q\u00eb b\u00ebn gabime, duke ia v\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dukje q\u00eb t\u00eb mos i p\u00ebrs\u00ebris\u00eb m\u00eb, por n\u00ebse ky burr\u00eb apo grua nuk di t\u2019i rregulloj\u00eb, p\u00ebrkundrazi, i trash ato, at\u00ebhere n\u00ebse do t\u00eb q\u00ebndrojm\u00eb ende me t\u00eb, faji nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i tiji, por i yni.
\nKrijo nj\u00eb ambient t\u00eb ngroht\u00eb p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn t\u00ebnd, i cili nuk ka asnj\u00eb faj n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast dhe jepi duart k\u00ebtij burri q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb as bashk\u00ebshort, as baba e as kryefamiljar. N\u00ebse ti e f\u00ebmija do t\u00eb keni v\u00ebrtet vler\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb, do t\u00eb kthehet duke mbajtur p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsit\u00eb e veta mbi supe; n\u00ebse jo, at\u00ebhere le t\u00eb jetoj\u00eb atje ku kalon ato dit\u00eb q\u00eb zhduket nga sht\u00ebpia dhe le ta mbajn\u00eb me buk\u00eb ata, te t\u00eb cil\u00ebt ai \u00e7on parat\u00eb me t\u00eb cilat duhet t\u00eb mbaj\u00eb familjen. T\u00eb m\u00eb fal\u00ebsh, pasi mund t\u00eb dukem shum\u00eb e ashp\u00ebr, po ky rast nuk ka nevoj\u00eb as p\u00ebr fjal\u00eb t\u00eb bukura, as p\u00ebr qet\u00ebsi, por vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr veprim. N\u00ebse doni veten dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebn tuaj, tregojini k\u00ebtij njeriu se n\u00ebse ju do, duhet t\u00eb dij\u00eb t\u2019ju fitoj\u00eb! Ju uroj nj\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb qet\u00eb n\u00eb vazhdim.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– E nderuar redaksi, kam nj\u00eb hall t\u00eb madh me burrin. Kur lindi djali, ai nuk rrinte n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, nuk sillte para dhe un\u00eb i b\u00ebja vet\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha pun\u00ebt. Ne jetojm\u00eb me qira dhe ai vet\u00ebm qiran\u00eb paguante, asgj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr. Un\u00eb kisha rrog\u00ebn time t\u00eb vog\u00ebl dhe me t\u00eb ushqeja tim bir, paguaja faturat, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10754","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10754","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10754"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10754\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10754"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10754"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10754"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}