{"id":10385,"date":"2015-09-07T18:30:03","date_gmt":"2015-09-07T16:30:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=10385"},"modified":"2015-09-07T12:55:52","modified_gmt":"2015-09-07T10:55:52","slug":"si-te-bej-seks-me-partneren","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2015\/09\/si-te-bej-seks-me-partneren\/","title":{"rendered":"Si t\u00eb b\u00ebj seks me partneren?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>&#8211; I nderuar doktor Demiri, me t\u00eb dashur\u00ebn time me t\u00eb cil\u00ebn dua t\u00eb fejohem, e kemi l\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb ta fillojm\u00eb seksin kur t\u00eb ikim me pushime, por un\u00eb jam pa p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb dhe duke lexuar p\u00ebr seksin n\u00eb internet, m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb koka dhall\u00eb. Do t\u00eb doja t\u00eb dija a ka disa rregulla q\u00eb normalizojn\u00eb jet\u00ebn seksuale?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em><u>Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> &#8211; Besoj se bashk\u00ebshort\u00ebt duke lexuar apo duke ardhur p\u00ebr nj\u00eb seanc\u00eb do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktojn\u00eb ve\u00e7orit\u00eb dhe nivelin emocional, por edhe at\u00eb seksual t\u00eb nj\u00ebri-tjetrit. Nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktojn\u00eb edhe identitetin seksual t\u00eb cilit i p\u00ebrkasin, ndaj duke marr\u00eb njohuri e k\u00ebshilla do t\u00eb din\u00eb si t\u00eb veprojn\u00eb n\u00eb aspektin seksual. Natyrisht, ti djal\u00eb q\u00eb interesohesh, do t\u00eb gjesh t\u00eb gjitha ato q\u00eb t\u00eb duhen, ndaj po t\u00eb them: \u201cT\u00eb lumt\u00eb\u201d, pasi vajza e pap\u00ebrvoj\u00eb, e virgj\u00ebr ose romantike, nuk i njeh si duhet mund\u00ebsit\u00eb e saj potenciale dhe do ta ket\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u2019i p\u00ebrcaktoj\u00eb ato. Gjithsesi, i takon partnerit q\u00eb ta njoh\u00eb e ta ndihmoj\u00eb partneren e re, p\u00ebr t\u2019u p\u00ebrshtatur me jet\u00ebn seksuale. N\u00eb jet\u00ebn seksuale, mashkulli duhet t\u00eb njoh\u00eb e t\u00eb respektoj\u00eb disa \u201crregulla\u201d p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat do t\u00eb flasim m\u00eb posht\u00eb, duke i p\u00ebrmbledhur ato q\u00eb po i quajm\u00eb t\u00eb \u201carta\u201d, pasi kan\u00eb shum\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi. Me secilin tip femre partneri duhet t\u00eb veproj\u00eb n\u00eb at\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, sikur ajo t\u00eb kishte nivel t\u00eb ul\u00ebt emocional, dometh\u00ebn\u00eb, sikur t\u00eb ishte fem\u00ebr q\u00eb eksitohet me v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi. Partneri duhet t\u2019i kushtoj\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb mjaftueshme faz\u00ebs parap\u00ebrgatitore t\u00eb seksit ose preludit t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb. Ai duhet t\u00eb p\u00ebrdor\u00eb nj\u00eb larmi formash t\u00ebrheq\u00ebse, por edhe duke gjetur pozicionin m\u00eb praktik e m\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatsh\u00ebm. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se femra d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb ket\u00eb liri t\u00eb plot\u00eb l\u00ebvizjesh, duhet zgjedhur pozicioni \u201cmashkulli posht\u00eb\u201d. Ky pozicion i jep mund\u00ebsi \u00e7do femre q\u00eb t\u00eb rris\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb ndjeshme nivelin emocional. Eksitimi i kujdessh\u00ebm i klitorit duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb para orgazm\u00ebs s\u00eb par\u00eb t\u00eb saj. P\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrdoret metoda e eksitimit shkall\u00eb-shkall\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn partner\u00ebt e fillojn\u00eb q\u00eb nga puthjet e ledhatimet (si\u00e7 i duan femrat q\u00eb nga maja e flokut e deri te maja e thoit). Vet\u00ebm kur femra arrin shkall\u00ebn maksimale ose padurimin p\u00ebr penetrim, mashkulli penetron ngadal\u00eb, pa i nd\u00ebrprer\u00eb fjal\u00ebt e \u00ebmbla e ledhat. Gjat\u00eb penetrimit, duhet ashtu si vjedhurazi q\u00eb gishti tregues ose i madhi me moll\u00ebzat t\u00eb mos i \u201cndahet\u201d klitorit.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; \u00cbsht\u00eb i domosdosh\u00ebm t\u00eb p\u00ebrdoret eksitimi i klitorit para dhe gjat\u00eb orgazm\u00ebs. Vet\u00ebm n\u00eb rastet kur femra ka temperament t\u00eb fort\u00eb, eksitimi duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb vet\u00ebm n\u00eb koh\u00ebn e preludit. Meqen\u00ebse mashkulli nuk mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktoj\u00eb sasin\u00eb e orgazmave p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb e aft\u00eb femra, ai duhet t\u00eb frenoj\u00eb orgazm\u00ebn e vet p\u00ebr aq koh\u00eb sa partnerja vazhdon t\u00eb eksitohet nga kontakti i gishtit me klitorin. Ai \u00ebsht\u00eb si ai \u201cpiloti\u201d i cili ka p\u00ebr \u201cdetyr\u00eb\u201d ta ngjis\u00eb e ta zbres\u00eb avionin e jo t\u00eb hidhet si me \u201cparashut\u00eb\u201d, pa shkak.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se mashkulli nuk mund t\u00eb frenoj\u00eb orgazm\u00ebn e tij gjat\u00eb ruajtjes s\u00eb ritmit t\u00eb l\u00ebvizjes s\u00eb organit ose nuk mundet t\u00eb mbaj\u00eb ritmin kur i fillon orgazma, ai duhet t\u00eb mos e nd\u00ebrpres\u00eb eksitimin e klitorit dhe t\u00eb vagin\u00ebs deri n\u00eb k\u00ebnaqjen e plot\u00eb t\u00eb partneres. Mashkulli para orgazm\u00ebs s\u00eb vet duhet t\u00eb siguroj\u00eb arritjen e orgazm\u00ebs s\u00eb femr\u00ebs. Ky ka qen\u00eb si nj\u00eb \u201cligj\u201d q\u00eb n\u00eb shkollat hinduse t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb. Pavar\u00ebsisht nga r\u00ebnia e shpejt\u00eb e eksitimit pas orgazm\u00ebs s\u00eb tij, mashkulli duhet t\u00eb vazhdoj\u00eb ledhatimet duke shprehur me to ndjenj\u00ebn e dashuris\u00eb dhe t\u00eb mir\u00ebnjohjes ndaj partneres. Asnj\u00eb fem\u00ebr e eksituar nuk u p\u00ebrgjigjet puthjeve t\u00eb mashkullit me sy hapur e nuk i hap ato n\u00eb momentet m\u00eb intime. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se syt\u00eb e femr\u00ebs jan\u00eb t\u00eb hapur, ajo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e eksituar. N\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn koh\u00eb, partneri i mir\u00eb asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk i mbyll syt\u00eb, por ndjek me v\u00ebmendje reagimin e partneres ndaj ledhatimeve t\u00eb tij dhe aktit seksual. Ledhatimet duhet t\u00eb vazhdojn\u00eb edhe pas shkrehjes s\u00eb plot\u00eb t\u00eb penisit, pasi femra ato i ndjen shum\u00eb. \u00cbsht\u00eb e domosdoshme t\u00eb themi edhe nj\u00eb her\u00eb se trupi i femr\u00ebs sh\u00ebrben i t\u00ebri p\u00ebr dh\u00ebnien e k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsis\u00eb seksuale p\u00ebr meshkujt, por detyrimi i mashkullit \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i jap\u00eb edhe sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi femr\u00ebs s\u00eb tij t\u00eb dashur. Partneri i mir\u00eb e fiton k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsin\u00eb plot\u00ebsuese, duke u k\u00ebnaqur edhe nga mendimi se ai i ka dh\u00ebn\u00eb njeriut t\u00eb dashur k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi t\u00eb madhe. Femr\u00ebs duhet t\u2019i krijohet bindja se ai nuk e do at\u00eb vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr ato \u201cpak\u201d minuta seks. N\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet seksuale ekzistojn\u00eb disa rregulla q\u00eb k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb nj\u00eb sjellje t\u00eb matur e t\u00eb qet\u00eb dhe ndoshta \u00ebsht\u00eb vendi q\u00eb t\u00eb tregojm\u00eb edhe disa gj\u00ebra m\u00eb konkrete. M\u00eb kan\u00eb treguar disa \u00e7ifte se si pas disa bisedash t\u00eb shtruara me mua (le t\u2019i quajm\u00eb seanca) kan\u00eb arritur at\u00eb q\u00eb ata nuk e besonin. P\u00ebr mua, nuk duhet t\u00eb ket\u00eb asnj\u00eb rast kur femra t\u00eb jet\u00eb inorgazmike (jo orgazmore), pasi nj\u00eb gj\u00eb e till\u00eb nuk ekziston n\u00eb bot\u00ebn shtazore. Meshkujt mund t\u00eb zot\u00ebrojn\u00eb teknikat e artin e seksit, mund t\u2019i b\u00ebjn\u00eb \u201c\u00e7udirat\u201d m\u00eb t\u00eb bukura se te \u201cKamasutra\u201d, por po nuk njoh\u00ebn psikologjin\u00eb e femr\u00ebs, k\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebrb\u00ebr\u00ebs t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm nuk do t\u00eb mund ta \u00e7ojn\u00eb at\u00eb n\u00eb orgaz\u00ebm, pasi organi kryesor kryesor seksual i femr\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb truri. Duhen k\u00ebrkuar e gjetur zonat e saj erogjene. Arsyeja pse n\u00eb bot\u00ebn e kafsh\u00ebve nuk ka asnj\u00eb rast inorgazmie \u00ebsht\u00eb aq e qart\u00eb dhe e thjesht\u00eb sa n\u00eb shum\u00eb raste, d\u00ebgjojm\u00eb t\u00eb thon\u00eb: Ah, sikur t\u00eb ishim aq t\u00eb rregullt sa edhe kafsh\u00ebt! Dihet p\u00ebr shembull se asnj\u00eb kafsh\u00eb nuk e p\u00ebrdhunon femr\u00ebn. Po t\u00eb ishte ashtu, demi i madh do t\u2019i mbyste m\u00ebshqerrat e reja. E si mundet fjala vjen nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr q\u00eb t\u00eb arrij\u00eb n\u00eb orgaz\u00ebm, kur fill pas nj\u00eb sherri, mashkulli e rr\u00ebmben, e t\u00ebrheq dhe e hedh at\u00eb n\u00eb krevat dhe pa nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb t\u00eb \u00ebmb\u00ebl e pa nj\u00eb puthje t\u00eb vetme e \u201cbombardon\u201d me seks, duke menduar se \u201ckrevati i rregullon pun\u00ebt\u201d (z\u00ebnkat, sherret etj.). Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb jo vet\u00ebm e d\u00ebmshme, por edhe pak shokuese p\u00ebr femrat, pasi n\u00eb k\u00ebto kushte, edhe femrat me pasion t\u00eb lart\u00eb e shum\u00eb orgazmore, nuk do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb arrinin n\u00eb orgaz\u00ebm. Femra i \u201cshijon\u201d shum\u00eb fjal\u00ebt e \u00ebmbla, lavdet, komplimentet, dhuratat, surprizat ose lulet e \u00e7do gj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, pasi aty ajo sheh apo ndjen sigurin\u00eb e ndjenjave, besnik\u00ebrin\u00eb, nuk e sheh mashkullin si \u201cegoist\u201d, as nuk ndjehet si e \u201cp\u00ebrdorur\u201d, por e nderuar dhe e respektuar.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Prandaj t\u00eb mos ju duket \u00e7udi q\u00eb femra t\u00eb dashurohet me nj\u00eb t\u00eb dashur tip \u201cbabai\u201d dhe jo me nj\u00eb bukurosh i cili beson se mjafton t\u00eb jesh nj\u00eb \u201chamshor\u201d i mir\u00eb. Femra do kujdes t\u00eb madh p\u00ebr ta sinkronizuar q\u00eb t\u00eb arrij\u00eb n\u00eb orgaz\u00ebm. Si zonat m\u00ebt\u00eb ndjeshme dhe t\u00eb predispozuara p\u00ebr t\u2019u eksituar jan\u00eb klitori, buz\u00ebt e vogla t\u00eb vagin\u00ebs, zona p\u00ebrreth tyre dhe hyrja p\u00ebr n\u00eb vagin\u00eb, por si\u00e7 tham\u00eb, nga t\u00eb gjitha zonat q\u00eb num\u00ebruam, m\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishmi \u00ebsht\u00eb klitori. Ai \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishmi jo vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr faktin se ka aft\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb shtuar n\u00eb maksimum d\u00ebshirat seksuale, por edhe sepse b\u00ebn t\u00eb mundur ardhjen e orgazm\u00ebs. Asnj\u00eb mashkull nuk mund t\u00eb quhet partner i kualifikuar, n\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ai nuk njeh r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb dhe ve\u00e7orit\u00eb e k\u00ebtij organi t\u00eb vog\u00ebl, por magjik. \u00c7udit\u00ebrisht, edhe midis vet\u00eb mjek\u00ebve ndeshen mendime t\u00eb ndryshme lidhur me rolin dhe r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb e klitorit. Disa theksojn\u00eb se klitori \u00ebsht\u00eb organi m\u00eb i aft\u00eb e m\u00eb i predispozuar p\u00ebr ta eksituar shum\u00eb femr\u00ebn, p\u00ebr ta \u00e7uar at\u00eb n\u00eb orgaz\u00ebm, kurse disa t\u00eb tjer\u00eb supozojn\u00eb se eksitimin m\u00eb t\u00eb madh q\u00eb sjell orgazm\u00ebn e japin hyrja p\u00ebr n\u00eb vagin\u00eb, duke p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb edhe fundin e vagin\u00ebs ose qaf\u00ebn e mitr\u00ebs, por kryesisht faqet e brendshme t\u00eb vagin\u00ebs. Shum\u00eb nga autor\u00ebt e fundit shkojn\u00eb edhe m\u00eb tutje duke pohuar se femrat t\u00eb cilat nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb ndjeshme n\u00eb k\u00ebto zona, s\u2019jan\u00eb fort potente dometh\u00ebn\u00eb, t\u00eb afta p\u00ebr orgaz\u00ebm normale. K\u00ebtu duhet ndaluar pak m\u00eb gjer\u00eb e m\u00eb holl\u00ebsisht, meqen\u00ebse femrat, duke u njohur me k\u00ebt\u00eb dezinformacion, mund t\u00eb arrijn\u00eb n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb konkluzion t\u00eb gabuar, sikur kan\u00eb ndonj\u00eb anomali n\u00eb sfer\u00ebn seksuale. Fatkeq\u00ebsisht, edhe pa k\u00ebto fjal\u00eb, ka mjaft faktor\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb e paragjykime t\u00eb ndryshme, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt l\u00ebkundin ekuilibrin e femrave, pa folur p\u00ebr literatur\u00ebn me autor\u00eb t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt botojn\u00eb supozime t\u00eb lloj-llojshme.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7do fem\u00ebr \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201cunike\u201d n\u00eb llojin e vet, por \u201cem\u00ebruesi\u201d i p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt \u00ebsht\u00eb se partneri i kujdessh\u00ebm duhet q\u00eb t\u2019i k\u00ebrkoj\u00eb\u201d ato seksualisht e t\u2019u gjej\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha zonat erogjene po e po, por edhe \u201ctemenat\u00eb\u201d e bukura p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat ato ta shp\u00ebrblejn\u00eb me shum\u00eb dashuri e kurr\u00eb me tradhti. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb e kuptueshme, po t\u00eb mendosh se edhe lopa e palogjik\u00eb \u201cta jep qum\u00ebshtin t\u00eb plot\u00eb\u201d n\u00ebse kur e mjel e p\u00ebrk\u00ebdhel me dashuri dhe mund\u00ebsisht, n\u00ebn tingujt e nj\u00eb muzike t\u00eb \u00ebmb\u00ebl. Para p\u00ebrk\u00ebdhelive e mir\u00ebkuptimit, as paraja apo dhuratat nuk vlejn\u00eb.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; I nderuar doktor Demiri, me t\u00eb dashur\u00ebn time me t\u00eb cil\u00ebn dua t\u00eb fejohem, e kemi l\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb ta fillojm\u00eb seksin kur t\u00eb ikim me pushime, por un\u00eb jam pa p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb dhe duke lexuar p\u00ebr seksin n\u00eb internet, m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb koka dhall\u00eb. Do t\u00eb doja t\u00eb dija a ka disa rregulla q\u00eb normalizojn\u00eb [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10385","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10385","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10385"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10385\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10385"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10385"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10385"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}