{"id":10150,"date":"2015-08-06T12:33:05","date_gmt":"2015-08-06T10:33:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=10150"},"modified":"2015-08-06T12:33:05","modified_gmt":"2015-08-06T10:33:05","slug":"cjane-keto-mendime-negative-qe-nuk-me-pushojne","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2015\/08\/cjane-keto-mendime-negative-qe-nuk-me-pushojne\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00c7\u2019jan\u00eb k\u00ebto mendime negative q\u00eb nuk m\u00eb pushojn\u00eb?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>&#8211; I nderuar profesor Jashari, m\u00eb vijn\u00eb n\u00eb kok\u00eb ca mendime t\u00eb k\u00ebqija q\u00eb nuk ikin aq sa ma shpifin, m\u00eb m\u00ebrzitet vetja dhe m\u00eb vjen edhe turp t\u2019i tregoj. Kam pyetur Imamin e nderuar t\u00eb Xhamis\u00eb, zoti Ahmet Kalaja dhe m\u00eb ka th\u00ebn\u00eb se k\u00ebto jan\u00eb mendime si nga \u201cshejtani\u201d q\u00eb synojn\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb krijojn\u00eb vesvese duke t\u00eb futur dyshime p\u00ebr \u00e7do gj\u00eb, por ti kthejua shpin\u00ebn, k\u00ebrko ndihm\u00eb e mbrojtje nga Zoti yt dhe merru me pun\u00eb t\u00eb mira e t\u00eb dobishme, pa ua v\u00ebrsh\u00ebllyer. T\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn gj\u00eb m\u00eb ka th\u00ebn\u00eb edhe nj\u00eb prift n\u00eb Amerik\u00eb, vet\u00ebm se ai m\u00eb tha se kur ti e d\u00ebgjon, i trembesh di\u00e7kaje, djalli e kupton k\u00ebt\u00eb e vjen e t\u00eb p\u00ebshp\u00ebrit \u00e7far\u00eb t\u2019i doj\u00eb qejfi, keq e m\u00eb keq. Po me shkenc\u00eb, si quhen k\u00ebto mendime dhe si mund t\u00eb ndalohen ato? Ju lutem, se m\u00eb jan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb si ndonj\u00eb rodhe! Ardita, Rruga e Kavaj\u00ebs, Tiran\u00eb.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em><u>Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> &#8211; E nderuara Ardita, k\u00ebto mendime negative, k\u00ebmb\u00ebngul\u00ebse dhe jo realiste, me shkenc\u00eb quhen mendime obsesive. Ti e kupton edhe vet\u00eb q\u00eb s\u2019duhet t\u2019i kesh, pra, je n\u00eb \u201cluft\u00eb\u201d me to, je e vet\u00ebdijshme, ndaj ky fakt e p\u00ebrjashton diagnoz\u00ebn p\u00ebr \u00e7do lloj s\u00ebmundjeje psikike q\u00eb ti ke frik\u00eb. \u201cSi t\u2019i ndalosh mendimet obsesive?\u201d. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb pyetja ime e shpesht\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ata q\u00eb i kan\u00eb k\u00ebto mendime. M\u00eb lexo me v\u00ebmendje. Mendimet obsesive (ose negative) mund ta b\u00ebjn\u00eb jetes\u00ebn t\u00eb trishtuar kur ju m\u00ebrziteni prej tyre, por kjo situat\u00eb si\u00e7 e paskeni kuptuar \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb ftes\u00eb q\u00eb ta kap\u00ebrceni mendjen dhe t\u00eb \u00e7liroheni prej vuajtjes p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb. Duhet sikur nuk e b\u00ebni dot, por e b\u00ebni q\u00eb \u00e7ke me t\u00eb, e kan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, fal\u00eb psikoterapis\u00eb me disa seanca.<\/p>\n<p>A mund t\u2019i ndaloni ju mendimet obsesive? N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se po, do t\u00eb ishte shum\u00eb mir\u00eb, por e v\u00ebrteta \u00ebsht\u00eb ndryshe sepse \u00ebsht\u00eb pak m\u00eb e komplikuar q\u00eb t\u2019u jap\u00ebsh fund mendimeve, gj\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn ju mund ta b\u00ebni vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr pak sekonda. Plus q\u00eb t\u2019u jap\u00ebsh fund k\u00ebtyre mendimeve \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb keq sesa t\u2019i durosh ato sepse krijon shum\u00eb energji t\u00eb brendshme negative, ose m\u00eb sakt\u00eb ka \u201ckosto\u201d m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe, pra, nuk ia vlen. Pra, si t\u00eb ndalojm\u00eb s\u00eb menduari k\u00ebto mendime t\u00eb tmerrshme?<\/p>\n<p>Sekreti p\u00ebr t\u2019i ndaluar mendimet obsesive ose negative \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i \u201cshk\u00ebput\u00ebsh\u201d ato nga mendja. Ju mund ta luftoni mendjen me mendje. Le ta shohim m\u00eb t\u00eb detajuar k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb dhe ju lutem, n\u00ebse ju del ndonj\u00eb pyetje, sh\u00ebnojeni p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u2019u drejtuar p\u00ebrs\u00ebri. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb kan\u00eb mendime t\u00eb tilla, ndjehen si t\u00eb \u201cpavler\u00eb\u201d e \u201cfajtor\u00eb\u201d se pse i mendojn\u00eb ato. Jan\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb k\u00ebta njer\u00ebz t\u00eb zgjuar, t\u00eb mbindjesh\u00ebm e me veti t\u00eb \u00e7muara, por q\u00eb nuk kuptojn\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb i shkakton mendimet obsesive&#8230; Shumica \u201cbesojn\u00eb\u201d se ato i prodhon vetja e tyre dhe ndjehen \u201cfajtor\u00eb\u201d, nj\u00eblloj sikur t\u2019ia kishin shkaktuar vetes k\u00ebto vuajtje. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ju \u201cprodhoni\u201d mendime, at\u00ebher\u00eb ju duhet t\u00eb keni kontroll mbi to, por e v\u00ebrteta \u00ebsht\u00eb se nuk jeni ju ai q\u00eb i prodhoni k\u00ebto mendime, por mendja juaj. \u00cbsht\u00eb nj\u00eb proces automatik n\u00eb t\u00eb shumt\u00ebn e rasteve pa u v\u00ebn\u00eb re. Mund t\u00eb shtrohet pyetja:<\/p>\n<p>A mund t\u00eb parashikosh se \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb mendosh pas 30 sekondash? N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ti nuk mundesh, at\u00ebher\u00eb si mund t\u00eb pretendosh se po prodhon mendime? \u00c7do njeri n\u00eb \u00e7do mosh\u00eb ka fantazi t\u00eb mir\u00eb e shum\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb, deri edhe t\u00eb keqe apo perverse, por i fshin ato t\u00eb k\u00ebqiat ashtu si\u00e7 fshijm\u00eb pluhurat apo shkarkojm\u00eb banj\u00ebn!<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; E v\u00ebrteta \u00ebsht\u00eb se mendja i prodhon k\u00ebto mendime. K\u00ebto mendime kalojn\u00eb si ret\u00eb. Ne identifikohemi me disa prej tyre dhe fiksohemi pas tyre, t\u00eb cilat n\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e rasteve jan\u00eb nj\u00eb form\u00eb energjie neutrale, por \u00ebsht\u00eb interesimi apo preokupimi yn\u00eb q\u00eb i b\u00ebn k\u00ebto mendime obsesive. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ju e kuptoni k\u00ebt\u00eb v\u00ebrtet, at\u00ebher\u00eb ju sapo keni hedhur hapin e par\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u \u00e7liruar nga mendimet obsesive. \u00c7do gj\u00ebje t\u00eb keqe apo t\u00eb mir\u00eb me t\u00eb cil\u00ebn ne p\u00ebrqendrohemi, sikur i japim fuqi, jet\u00eb, pra, e t\u00ebrheqim. Prandaj n\u00eb lidhje me mendimet obsesive ne do t\u00eb quhemi si \u201cfajtor\u00eb\u201d t\u00eb pafaj.<\/p>\n<p>Polici dhe hajduti jan\u00eb t\u00eb dyja mendja, pra, si mund ta kap\u00eb polici hajdutin n\u00ebse ata po \u201cvjedhin\u201d s\u00eb bashku? Nuk mund ta mposht\u00ebsh mendjen me forc\u00eb. Sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u2019i sulmosh mendimet obsesive, aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb sulmojn\u00eb edhe ato. K\u00ebshtu ndodh edhe me ankthin, ataket e panikut etj. Sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb e qet\u00ebson mendjen e nuk ua \u201cvar\u201d, aq m\u00eb shpejt ikin ato. \u00c7far\u00eb e fuqizon n\u00eb mendim? Si\u00e7 e tham\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb interesimi dhe preokupimi juaj. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ju keni nj\u00eb interesim t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb n\u00eb lidhje me mendimin, at\u00ebher\u00eb ai e humb ndikimin te ju. Ju mund t\u00eb provoni q\u00eb tani. I lini mendimet q\u00eb t\u00eb rrjedhin ne mendjen tuaj, por mos u preokuponi p\u00ebr to. Thjesht q\u00ebndroni si nj\u00eb spektator ose v\u00ebzhgues dhe i lini mendimet t\u00eb kalojn\u00eb. Un\u00eb e di se fillimisht ju mund t\u00eb keni nj\u00eb moment t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i v\u00ebzhgoni k\u00ebto mendime p\u00ebr shkak se prirja juaj p\u00ebr t\u2019u preokupuar p\u00ebr to rritet. Kjo do t\u2019ju ndihmoj\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebsoni se ju nuk jeni mendimet tuaja, mendimet jan\u00eb thjesht nj\u00eb form\u00eb energjie e krijuar n\u00eb mendje. Po p\u00ebrse i krijon mendja k\u00ebto? Asnj\u00eb s\u2019e di k\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje. \u00cbsht\u00eb si t\u00eb pyes\u00ebsh: Pse zemra rreh? K\u00ebshtu, pra, me pak praktik\u00eb ju do t\u00eb b\u00ebheni shum\u00eb e zonja p\u00ebr t\u2019i v\u00ebzhguar mendimet dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos u p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb n\u00eb to. Si rezultat, ju do t\u00eb ndaloni t\u2019i fuqizoni, duke mos u preokupuar p\u00ebr to. Pra, n\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ju nuk merreni me mendimin dhe n\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ju nuk i jepni fuqi, ai do t\u00eb shuhet. \u00cbsht\u00eb nj\u00eblloj sikur ky lloj \u201cshejtani\u201d q\u00eb thoni ju, t\u00eb thot\u00eb me vete: \u201cK\u00ebt\u00eb vajz\u00eb nuk po e m\u00ebrzis dot, nuk po ma \u201cvar\u201d, t\u00eb iki e t\u00eb gjej ndonj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr q\u00eb nuk i di kurthet e mia\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7far\u00eb jan\u00eb mendimet dhe si krijohen ato? \u00cbsht\u00eb nj\u00eb pyetje mjaft e thjesht\u00eb q\u00eb na b\u00ebhet ne psikolog\u00ebve. Dihet se shumica e ngjarjeve t\u00eb kaluara ruhen n\u00eb memorie. Gjendja e mendjes ashtu si edhe besimet tuaja, gjithashtu ruhen n\u00eb memorie. E gjith\u00eb kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb ruajtje e pavet\u00ebdijshme, pasi mendja e b\u00ebn t\u00eb gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb automatike. Kuptimet dhe interpretimet jan\u00eb krijuar n\u00eb mendje duke u bazuar n\u00eb kushtet e \u201cjashtme\u201d t\u00eb s\u00eb kaluar\u00ebs dhe gjithashtu, edhe n\u00eb kushtet natyrore (gjenetike). K\u00ebto mendime, interpretime dhe gjykime lindin si mendime ne mendje dhe mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb pozitive ose negative n\u00eb var\u00ebsi t\u00eb gjendjes s\u00eb mendjes. K\u00ebto mendime prodhohen ose lindin duke u bazuar n\u00eb incidente ose kujtime t\u00eb s\u00eb kaluares, projektime p\u00ebr t\u00eb ardhmen dhe interpretime t\u00eb situatave t\u00eb pranishme n\u00eb jet\u00eb. Kur mendimet jan\u00eb negative (mendime shqet\u00ebsimi, akthi, stresi, fyerje, faji) ato sjellin rezistenc\u00eb n\u00eb ecjen n\u00eb jet\u00eb dhe kjo rezistenc\u00eb ndihet si vuajtje. Jeta \u00ebsht\u00eb si nj\u00eb lum\u00eb energjie pozitive dhe p\u00ebr pasoj\u00eb, \u00e7do mendim negativ q\u00ebndron n\u00eb kund\u00ebrshtim me to, duke shkaktuar mosmarr\u00ebveshje e cila p\u00ebrjetohet si vuajtje n\u00eb trup, si ankth e vet\u00ebfaj\u00ebsi. Si\u00e7 e argumentova m\u00eb sip\u00ebr, mendimet n\u00eb mendjen tuaj fitojn\u00eb fuqi nga vemendja dhe interesimi juaj. V\u00ebmendja juaj \u00ebsht\u00eb si benzin\u00eb p\u00ebr trurin tuaj. Pra, kur ju u jepni r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi mendimeve negative, ju n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb pand\u00ebrgjegjshme i nxisni ato dhe n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, i jepni vrull nj\u00eb mendimi negativ. Vrulli i mendimeve negative ne mendjen tuaj do t\u00eb ulet dhe do t\u00eb dob\u00ebsohet automatikisht kur ju t\u00eb ndaloni se ushqyeri k\u00ebt\u00eb mendim me v\u00ebmendjen tuaj.<\/p>\n<p>Ju mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrqendroheni vet\u00ebm n\u00eb mendimet pozitive q\u00eb prodhon mendja. Sa her\u00eb q\u00eb mendja prodhon mendime pozitive, si mendimet e dashuris\u00eb, k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsis\u00eb, bukuris\u00eb, pasionit, paqes, vler\u00ebsimi etj. at\u00ebher\u00eb fokusohuni n\u00eb to. Ushqejini ato dhe u jepni vemendje. Kjo do ta ndihmoj\u00eb mendjen q\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebrheq\u00eb sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb mendime pozitive, pra, ajo do t\u00eb jet\u00eb e z\u00ebn\u00eb me to ose me preokupimet p\u00ebr pun\u00eb t\u00eb dobishme. Ashtu si \u00e7do organ tjet\u00ebr, edhe mendja ka nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb punoj\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb \u201crehat\u201d. Praktika e vrojtimit t\u00eb mendjes \u00ebsht\u00eb di\u00e7ka q\u00eb do t\u2019ia kuptoni r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb pasi ka vler\u00ebn e pun\u00ebs n\u00eb momente papun\u00ebsie. Prandaj ju tham\u00eb se ajo \u00e7ka ju duhet p\u00ebr t\u2019u \u00e7liruar nga mendimet obsesive, \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i vrojtoni ato pa u p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb n\u00eb to. Ju do t\u00eb b\u00ebheni shum\u00eb e aft\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb, me pak praktik\u00eb, por \u00e7do dit\u00eb. Mos b\u00ebni supozime t\u00eb kota ose kompulsione n\u00eb form\u00eb \u201critualesh\u201d p\u00ebr t\u00eb neutralizuar mendimet obsesive. Kjo do t\u00eb ishte keqp\u00ebrshtatje. Mos u p\u00ebrpiqni ta kuptoni k\u00ebt\u00eb praktik\u00eb, thjesht\u00eb zbatojeni at\u00eb.<\/p>\n<p>Mendja \u00ebsht\u00eb si nj\u00eb makin\u00eb n\u00eb kok\u00ebn tuaj q\u00eb prodhon mendime bazuar n\u00eb interesin dhe v\u00ebmendjen tuaj. Jini e lir\u00eb nga mendja duke ia privuar asaj interesin tuaj. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb e vetmja m\u00ebnyr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb e lir\u00eb nga mendja. P\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, ju duhet t\u00eb k\u00ebshilloheni me psikologun i cili edhe e \u201cmonitoron\u201d suksesin tuaj me to.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; I nderuar profesor Jashari, m\u00eb vijn\u00eb n\u00eb kok\u00eb ca mendime t\u00eb k\u00ebqija q\u00eb nuk ikin aq sa ma shpifin, m\u00eb m\u00ebrzitet vetja dhe m\u00eb vjen edhe turp t\u2019i tregoj. Kam pyetur Imamin e nderuar t\u00eb Xhamis\u00eb, zoti Ahmet Kalaja dhe m\u00eb ka th\u00ebn\u00eb se k\u00ebto jan\u00eb mendime si nga \u201cshejtani\u201d q\u00eb synojn\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10150","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10150"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10150\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}