{"id":10139,"date":"2015-08-05T13:30:27","date_gmt":"2015-08-05T11:30:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=10139"},"modified":"2015-08-05T11:10:06","modified_gmt":"2015-08-05T09:10:06","slug":"titull-si-te-flirtosh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2015\/08\/titull-si-te-flirtosh\/","title":{"rendered":"Titull: Si t\u00eb flirtosh?"},"content":{"rendered":"

N\u00ebntitull: P\u00ebr beqar\u00ebt dhe t\u00eb martuarit…<\/em><\/p>\n

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A nuk ju duket edhe juve pak e frikshme t\u00eb flas\u00ebsh me dik\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00eblqen, pra, t\u00eb flirtosh? P\u00ebr fat t\u00eb mir\u00eb, shkenca ka zbuluar se \u00e7far\u00eb e b\u00ebn flirtin t\u00eb funksionoj\u00eb dhe \u00e7far\u00eb jo<\/em><\/strong>…<\/p>\n

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    \n
  1. Edhe t\u00eb martuarit duhet t\u00eb flirtojn\u00eb<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Tinderi, macet, vetmia e po ashtu edhe flirti, zakonisht u bashkangjiten beqar\u00ebve, por edhe \u00e7iftet kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb flirtojn\u00eb. Pas nj\u00eb studimi t\u00eb vitit 2012 me 164 njer\u00ebz t\u00eb martuar, studiuesit e Universitetit t\u00eb Kentakit vun\u00eb re se shumica prej tyre flirtonin p\u00ebr t\u00eb mbajtur dhe forcuar intimitetin n\u00eb \u00e7ift. K\u00ebshtu, ata dol\u00ebn n\u00eb p\u00ebrfundimin se \u00e7iftet e martuara flirtonin p\u00ebr \u201ct\u00eb krijuar nj\u00eb bot\u00eb private me bashk\u00ebshkortin\/en\u201d.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Njer\u00ebzit flirtojn\u00eb p\u00ebr gjasht\u00eb arsye t\u00eb ndryshme<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      N\u00eb nj\u00eb botim t\u00eb vitit 2004, profesori David Heningsen i Universitetit t\u00eb Ilinoisit t\u00eb Veriut, identifikoi gjasht\u00eb arsye t\u00eb ndryshme pse njer\u00ebzit flirtojn\u00eb:<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. P\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb seks.<\/li>\n
      2. P\u00ebr zbavitje. E trajtojn\u00eb at\u00eb si sport.<\/li>\n
      3. P\u00ebr eksplorim. P\u00ebrpiqen t\u00eb shohin se si do t\u00eb ishte nj\u00eb lidhje me personin tjet\u00ebr.<\/li>\n
      4. Marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie. P\u00ebrpiqen t\u00eb shtojn\u00eb intimitetin n\u00eb nj\u00eb lidhje.<\/li>\n
      5. Vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsim. Duan t\u00eb shtojn\u00eb vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimin e tyre.<\/li>\n
      6. Shfryt\u00ebzim. P\u00ebrpiqen t\u00eb marrin di\u00e7ka nga personi tjet\u00ebr.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb studim, Heningseni mori n\u00eb pyetje 101 vajza dhe 99 djem student\u00eb dhe u k\u00ebrkoi atyre t\u00eb shkruanin nj\u00eb bised\u00eb hipotetike flirtuese mes nj\u00eb djali e nj\u00eb vajze. M\u00eb pas, ai identifikoi motivimet p\u00ebr gj\u00ebrat q\u00eb kishin shkruar dhe vuri re se sjellja e tyre ndryshonte sipas seksit: Burrat kishin m\u00eb shum\u00eb tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb kishin motivime seksuale, nd\u00ebrsa grat\u00eb kishin motiv krijimin e nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieje.<\/p>\n

         <\/p>\n

          \n
        1. P\u00ebr t\u00eb hapur bised\u00ebn, disa fraza jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mira se t\u00eb tjerat<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Gjat\u00eb nj\u00eb studimi t\u00eb botuar n\u00eb revist\u00ebn \u201cSex Roles\u201d, psikologu i Universitetit t\u00eb Alask\u00ebs, Kris Klinke, u k\u00ebrkoi 600 vet\u00ebve t\u00eb vler\u00ebsonin efikasitetin e k\u00ebtyre tre lloj frazave p\u00ebr t\u00eb hapur bised\u00ebn:<\/p>\n

          – Fjali \u201cgaripe\u201d t\u00eb tipit: \u201cJu duhet t\u00eb jeni kontrollor cil\u00ebsie, sepse ju pash\u00eb q\u00eb po m\u00eb shikonit nga koka te k\u00ebmb\u00ebt\u201d.<\/p>\n

          – Pyetje \u201ct\u00eb pafajshme\u201d t\u00eb tipit \u201c\u00c7far\u00eb mendoni p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb k\u00ebng\u00eb?\u201d, ose \u201cMe cil\u00ebn skuad\u00ebr jeni?\u201d.<\/p>\n

          – Apo afrime t\u00eb drejtp\u00ebrdrejta, si: \u201cJu jeni simpatike, mund t\u2019ju ofroj di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr t\u00eb pir\u00eb?\u201d.<\/p>\n

          P\u00ebrgjigjet ishin t\u00eb ndara sipas seksit: Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb burrat preferonin m\u00eb shum\u00eb afrimet e drejtp\u00ebrdrejta, grat\u00eb preferonin me tep\u00ebr pyetjet e \u201cpafajshme\u201d. Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb \u00e7udi pse vet\u00ebm pak preferonin pyetjet e tipit t\u00eb par\u00eb.<\/p>\n

           <\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Burrat shpesh e mbivler\u00ebsojn\u00eb interesimin e grave<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Nj\u00eb gj\u00eb q\u00eb ka dal\u00eb n\u00eb pah nga studimet e shumta \u00ebsht\u00eb se, nd\u00ebr njer\u00ebzit heteroseksual\u00eb, burrat e perceptojn\u00eb si m\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb sesa \u00ebsht\u00eb interesin seksual t\u00eb grave, nd\u00ebrsa grat\u00eb nuk e perceptojn\u00eb aq sa duhet interesin seksual t\u00eb burrave. Me fjal\u00eb t\u00eb tjera, burrat mendojn\u00eb se grat\u00eb i p\u00eblqejn\u00eb ata kur kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa grat\u00eb nuk e v\u00ebn\u00eb re kur nj\u00eb burr\u00eb i p\u00eblqen. N\u00eb nj\u00eb analiz\u00eb t\u00eb disa studimeve t\u00eb vitit 2000, shkenc\u00ebtar\u00ebt ofruan disa shpjegime p\u00ebr k\u00ebto zbulime, p\u00ebrfshi edhe faktin se burrat edukohen me iden\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb shohin m\u00eb shum\u00eb seks n\u00eb mjedisin e tyre rrethues, nd\u00ebrsa vajzat edukohen me iden\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb m\u00eb modeste, por psikolog\u00ebt ende nuk i kan\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktuar qart\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha arsyet pse ndodh kjo.<\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n

              \n
            1. Karakteristikat josh\u00ebse varen nga seksi<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              Sipas nj\u00eb studimi t\u00eb vitit 2011, burrat dhe grat\u00eb nuk kan\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn ndjesi p\u00ebrpara t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebs shprehjeje fytyre. Pasi u tregoi 1041 njer\u00ebzve imazhe nga shprehje t\u00eb ndryshme fytyre, shkenc\u00ebtar\u00ebt zbuluan se:<\/p>\n

              – Lumturia ishte shprehja e fytyr\u00ebs m\u00eb josh\u00ebse e femrave, por m\u00eb pak josh\u00ebse te burrat.<\/p>\n

              – Krenaria ishte shprehja e fytyr\u00ebs m\u00eb josh\u00ebse e burrave, por m\u00eb pak josh\u00ebse e grave.<\/p>\n

               <\/p>\n

                \n
              1. Delikatesa \u00ebsht\u00eb e mir\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb hapur rrug\u00ebn<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                Psikologu Stiven Gangestad i Universitetit t\u00eb Nju Meksikos thot\u00eb se flirtimi sot \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb \u201cproces negocimi\u201d q\u00eb fillon menj\u00ebher\u00eb pas momenteve t\u00eb para t\u00eb joshjes. \u00cbsht\u00eb nj\u00eb lloj m\u00ebnyre p\u00ebr t\u00eb testuar terrenin. Ti nuk ia thua dot drejtp\u00ebrdrejt tjetrit se ai t\u00eb p\u00eblqen; kjo gj\u00eb duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb dal\u00ebngadal\u00eb. \u201cFunksionon m\u00eb mir\u00eb kur ia shfaq joshjen tjetrit me doza t\u00eb vogla\u201d, thot\u00eb Gangestadi. \u201cFlirtimi at\u00ebher\u00eb b\u00ebhet nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb shtuar joshjen\u201d.<\/p>\n

                 <\/p>\n

                  \n
                1. Flirtimi nuk ka lidhje me t\u00eb qenurin personi m\u00eb josh\u00ebs n\u00eb dhom\u00eb…<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  …por me sinjalet q\u00eb l\u00ebshon se je i disponuesh\u00ebm. Sipas psikologes Monika Mur, q\u00eb ka studiuar sjelljet e flirtimit t\u00eb personave n\u00eb bare p\u00ebr beqar\u00eb, qendra tregtare dhe vende t\u00eb tjera ku takohen t\u00eb rinjt\u00eb, personat e seksit t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt kishin m\u00eb shum\u00eb gjasa t\u2019u afroheshin atyre q\u00eb buz\u00ebqeshnin dhe kishin kontakt sysh me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, sesa atyre q\u00eb thjesht dukeshin t\u00eb bukur.<\/p>\n

                   <\/p>\n

                    \n
                  1. Kontakti i syve ndihmon v\u00ebrtet<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                    Kontakti i syve me lezet (jo me k\u00ebmb\u00ebngulje) \u00ebsht\u00eb v\u00ebrtet efikas gjat\u00eb flirtimit. N\u00eb nj\u00eb studim, shkenc\u00ebtar\u00ebt vun\u00eb 48 \u00e7ifte t\u00eb panjohura t\u00eb kalonin dy minuta duke kryer nj\u00eb \u201cdetyr\u00eb\u201d: 1. T\u00eb shihnin tjetrin n\u00eb sy. 2. T\u00eb shihnin duart e tjetrit. 3. T\u00eb num\u00ebronin sa her\u00eb i puliste syt\u00eb njeriu p\u00ebrball\u00eb. Kur t\u00eb dy partner\u00ebt b\u00ebnin kontaktin e syve n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn koh\u00eb, pra, shihnin nj\u00ebri-tjetrin, kishin m\u00eb shum\u00eb ndjenja ndaj tjetrit sesa kur b\u00ebnin pun\u00ebt e tjera.<\/p>\n

                     <\/p>\n

                      \n
                    1. Njer\u00ebzit ndjehen me t\u00eb lidhur kur i b\u00ebjn\u00eb pyetje intime nj\u00ebri-tjetrit<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                      Ju e dini tashm\u00eb se t\u2019i drejtoni pyetje personit q\u00eb ju p\u00eblqen \u00ebsht\u00eb ide e mir\u00eb, por gjith\u00e7ka varet nga pyetjet q\u00eb i b\u00ebni. Sipas nj\u00eb studimi t\u00eb Universitetit t\u00eb Nju Jorkut, njer\u00ebzit ndjeheshin m\u00eb t\u00eb lidhur kur i b\u00ebnin nj\u00ebri-tjetrit pyetje intime si \u201c\u00c7\u2019rol luajn\u00eb dashuria dhe ndjenjat n\u00eb jet\u00ebn t\u00ebnde?\u201d, sesa pyetje t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjithshme, apo banale. Nj\u00eb fakt zbavit\u00ebs: Gjasht\u00eb muaj m\u00eb von\u00eb, dy nga njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb u mor\u00ebn n\u00eb studim, ran\u00eb v\u00ebrtet n\u00eb dashuri me nj\u00ebri-tjetrin.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                      N\u00ebntitull: P\u00ebr beqar\u00ebt dhe t\u00eb martuarit…   A nuk ju duket edhe juve pak e frikshme t\u00eb flas\u00ebsh me dik\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00eblqen, pra, t\u00eb flirtosh? P\u00ebr fat t\u00eb mir\u00eb, shkenca ka zbuluar se \u00e7far\u00eb e b\u00ebn flirtin t\u00eb funksionoj\u00eb dhe \u00e7far\u00eb jo…   Edhe t\u00eb martuarit duhet t\u00eb flirtojn\u00eb Tinderi, macet, vetmia e po […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10139","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10139","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10139"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10139\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10139"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10139"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10139"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}